Dreaming

Sometimes I use comics as a coping mechanism for my own social blunders

college

Rape Escape

Very useful to know, pass and share please.

Worth watching

I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this. 

I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head. 

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away. 

So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out. 

I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot 

rude

*takes one good photo* posts on all blogs, posts on all social media accounts, makes wallpaper, sends to friends, prints out and frames, emails to obama

Aw same

I live in one of those new pop up suburbs, you know the one, all cookie cutter houses, nature reserves and young families. Our suburb has exactly one entrance / exit onto the main road, it’s not too bad but can get a little congested during peak times (I’m talking maybe an extra 5 mins to your journey).

There is however, a side access gate that looked like it was used as a secondary route for construction vehicles when they were first building the suburb. The side gate bypasses the main entrance and takes you directly to the main road. However, it clearly is not a legitimate road and requires the driver to traverse through a playground. Nearly everyone does the right thing and uses the main road.

But this a**hole in a silver Lancer constantly thinks his better than everyone and uses the side gate every day. I regularly see him jump off the main road and casually cruise through the gate as I and scores of others are patiently waiting at the legit entrance. I imagine him with a smug smile on his stupid face as if he’s just naturally smarter than everyone else.

It’s especially infuriating as he honks at kids, dogs and families in order to cross the park with his vehicle as if it’s their fault that they are in his way.

So I’ve taken to f*ck with his shortcut. The access road has a gate across it but its not locked and left open. Since last week I’ve taken to closing the gate and zipped tying it shut, using about 7 small zip ties at a time. This requires a**hole to get of his car and try to break the zip ties. Hopefully that adds time to his shortcut. The small pile of busted zip ties scattered on the ground near the gate makes me giggle (I of course pick them up because littering is for chumps).

Yesterday I’ve decided to escalate and have bought a cheap bike chain and am going to install it tonight. Screw you Lancer.

wen you were just about to murder someone for $30

Donald Trump’s Twitter Q&A backfired: my favorites.

even from the depths of the uncharted ocean, lapis lazuli is roasting donald trump and that makes me immeasurably happy.

she realized the window was open & her neighbors could hear her 😂😂😂 

This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen omg

That “Are you okay?” in the background

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat

My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming “IM A FUCKING GODDESS”

Its true, I have been.

I did it and it was great

I love this

when my POC and Latino friends invite me over for dinner

I AM SCREAMING OMFG

They finally learning to clapback!!!

never forget that australias first ever winter olympics gold was won because the guy was coming dead last and everyone in front of him fell over

its happening

even better

the only reason he was in the final was bc the same thing happened in the semis

and the only reason he was in the semis was bc one of the guys that came ahead of him in the quarters was disqualified

i’m not sure if he’s the luckiest skater alive or a skater that has the power to curse other competitors.

i’ve been laughing non stop for the past like 10 minutes

graduated top of my class from hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery