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@jennayimx-blog

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Honey, you’re trying to fix someone who’s never going to change.

-you can’t fix everything

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onlinecounsellingcollege

Why Complicate Life?

1. Missing somebody – Call.

2. Wanna meet up – Invite.

3. Wanna be understood – Explain.

4. Have questions – Ask.

5. Don’t like something - Speak up.

6. Like something – Share it.

7. Want something - Ask for it.

8. Love someone – Tell them.

We only have one life. Keep it simple.

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You feel emotions so deeply because it’s such a rare occasion in which you share them with someone else.
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oye-yo-si-te-queria
cactuseeds

“We’d be good together don’t you think?” “No.” “Why not?” “Because I’ll break your heart.” “Maybe I’ll break yours."  "Nobody breaks my heart." 

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youngadultquoted
Here’s what I am learning: sometimes, the big changes seem to happen in small, fast moments. A diagnosis. A breakup. A crush. But usually, there was something there—underlying, building up—all along.

Emery Lord, The Names They Gave Us (via youngadultquoted)

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It feels like everyone i know who is going through a tough time always talks about having to say "i'm okay" when they're really not. They say they have to hide it, or that they can't say they're not. But they're wrong. You can say it. Say that you're not okay. Hell, shout it, even. Because you can't bottle it up. You either have to let it out or let it go. Otherwise you won't get anywhere.
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Where do I start? I feel like... like i'm in sand. Like i'm in this god-awful pile of sand, and everything i do or say just adds to the pile. Everything i try to do to get out ends up backfiring and piling more and more and more. Until it's up to my neck, and i'm suffocating from all the sand that's been added and all the sand surrounding me. And there's people, my family and friends, walking by, and they just look. They look at me in the pile of sand and they look at me suffocating; they look at me dying. They're looking, but they don't see. They never see. Because they don't want to; it's too much for them to see.
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And as the blade caressed my skin and my fingers guiding it across the flesh of my thigh, i didn’t know what was worse; if i were to feel the pain, or the fact that i felt nothing at all.
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I don't feel anything anymore. It's like all of my senses have dissipated. All my feelings, interests, aspirations; gone. Nothing is there. Nothing inside of me. Just this hollow, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
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It’s hard to breath when i hear your name. Hard to speak, or move. Because you still have a hold of me. Your latch you created so long ago still stands. Im bound to you by the chains around my wrists and the shackles that cling from my ankles. Im a prisoner to your love. But the thing is, I don’t want to be freed. -j.m.
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Hey. I know. You're wondering where i've been. The truth is, so am i. I've lost myself in the given time. Maybe i've just never been here. Maybe i've been nothing this entire time. I felt like nothing anyways. Because of you. It's okay. It wasn't completely you. It was partly my fault, too. It was my family. My friends. But you? It all started with you. Naively, I fell into your trap. And I'm ashamed...because I didn't even try to get out. I was so involved, obsessed even, that I didn't see the spikes at the bottom of my fall. I was too busy staring at you. Maybe I didn't realize then that I had been looking right through you. You were empty inside. and finally when I was able to break the stare, when I finally was able to look at what was behind me, it was too late. I had been stabbed by the spikes at the bottom of your trap. Right in the back. But being as relentless as I was, I turned to look at you one last time, filled with hope that maybe you were trying to catch me as I fell. But somehow it seemed to have hurt me even more. Because when I looked, you were with her. So I lay there, unmoving, waiting for it to be over. Waiting for this stupid mistake I called a life to end. But something happened. You opened the trap doors, and you reach down into the spikes for my hand. You wanted to help me. And, for just a fraction of a second, I almost reached back. Until I saw who the other hand of yours gripped; hers. And it was this moment that I realized I would rather raise hell trying to escape from your latch, then allow you to save me; allow myself to fall for you all over again. Because nothing in this goddamn world compares to the pain of loving you. -j.m.
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What has become of what we had is nothing that we had expected. It's more brutal; merciless. And it hurt. It stabbed me in the chest with the same amount of power we had loved with before. And i knew it was over. But on the softest day, on the day when i finally rekindled myself, on the day when i had made amends to my wounds, and to you, the day that hurt the least, i knew that we weren't over. This, my love, this break of ours was painful, ruthless. But again some day, i hope we will find our paths to one another . Stronger than we have been before, and now ready for what could have been.
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onlinecounsellingcollege
So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.

John Green (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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Things are so difficult right now i can't even begin to sort through them.

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If you're broken, learn how to fix yourself. don't depend on anyone else because 9 times out of 10, they won't be there. i learned the hard way.

-j.m