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jeeyonardo dicaprio

@jeeyonshim / jeeyonshim.tumblr.com

loose art and writing, some game promo
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lavenderlion

This might suck to hear, but if you're a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.

When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.

I'm still working on this, and it's been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don't tolerate in your life, what you're looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don't compromise yourself. Just move on.

This one's for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy

This resonated with more people than I thought, so here are some phrases to practice when you would normally default to people pleasing:

  • I'm not comfortable with that.
  • I'd rather not, but thank you for the offer!
  • You're welcome to disagree, but that's not something I'm okay with.
  • No.
  • It's personal, and I'd prefer to keep it private.
  • That doesn't work for me. How about x
  • I respect your opinion, but I'd rather do it my way.
  • That is behavior that I don't tolerate.
  • To each their own.
  • I'm not looking for feedback right now, but if I'm looking for input later, I'll let you know.
  • Oh, I'm not sure I agree; I thought x
  • When you did/said x, I wasn't okay with that.
  • I don't accept your apology.
  • I can accept your apology once you've addressed the problem.
  • Hey, could you help me with x?
  • I need to stop.
  • I need some time to myself.

Just remember, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what make you unique, and you can change your mind later, so don't be afraid to say them out loud. Work through things. Don't dodge them.

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laios touden and charles darwin share two core aspects of their personalities, which are

1) keenly observational extrapolations about the various ecosystems they spent time in, and

2) an unhinged, rabid drive to eat every kind of animal in those ecosystems

in this essay i will

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tearlessrain
Anonymous asked:

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

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Totally agree with all of this.

Though I could argue that Christine does want to be ravished in the musical. Before he flips out at her for stealing his mask, at least. He didn't kidnap her (in the musical). She definitely followed him.

oh yeah I definitely agree with that. the thing making it non-diegetic isn't a lack of consent, it's the fact that this is an actual situation and not a negotiated scene, the characters aren't knowingly/purposefully Doing Kink. you can totally have non-diegetic kink that's consensual and you can also have diegetic kink that isn't.

that said, Phantom of the Opera but framed as an elaborate bdsm roleplay scene between Christine, Raul, and the Phantom is an adaptation I'd watch without hesitation.

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meat4meat

Camilla Hect, about to absorb the entirety of The Necromancer's Marriage Season and its sequel as her soul merges with Palamedes

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spooksier

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

STOP listening to the demon of capitalism and START listening to the angel of hedonism, i love you i believe in you keep making what you love forever ok?

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A while ago the vet prescribed Onion with gabapentin so I can mildly sedate him before clipping his claws and giving him a big brushing, two grooming tasks that invariably end in violence for me even though they would be totally manageable with a second person around. M., my partner, is visiting for a week and change. As I was fussing over mixing the pill content’s into Onion’s food, he offered to hold Onion while I clipped and groomed so I could save a dose. “No,” I said, ”I should practice doing it with the gaba. It’s nice to have help but it’s just Onion and me 99% of the time.”

M. kept petting Onion and sighed wistfully. “I wish I could hang out with Onion 99% of the time,” he said.

“What about me?” I said it in a wounded tone, thinking it was clear I meant it as a joke, but he thought I was serious. Rarely have I seen such a look of panic in a man’s eyes.

Right on cue, Onion started purring with the deep self-satisfaction of a creature who knows he’s going to win every popularity contest.

P.S. The gabapentin is too small a dose so Onion bit the shit out of my hands anyway 🫠

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zevveli

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

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elsajeni

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

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kc749

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

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qwertyu858
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Nevil Maskelyne, First filmed eclipse. 1900

Solar eclipse filmed on 28 May, 1900 by a famous magician, Nevil Maskelyne , while on an expedition by The British Astronomical Association to North Carolina. In 1898 he travelled to India to photograph an eclipse. He succeeded but the film can was stolen

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paper-cities
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jeeyonshim

My former co-teacher is a foot taller than me and we used to have nearly verbatim exchanges just like this

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lillagrim
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relelvance

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

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piedude

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

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yookodee

this bit will be the death of me

imagine being so autistic you almost choose being a murderer as your carrer path. i love him.