some funny interactions I have with my mother

(this will constantly be updated [if I remember])

my mom: *joking as we walk out of sams club with cheese, tortillas and tampons* i can hurt you not just in physical ways.

me: *without missing a beat* thats why i have an emotional disability ma.

my mom:

*me and my mom are in the car waiting for my older brother to get out of work and im using her phone to put on music*

me:*sees a WhatsApp notification pop up*

me:*reads the name*

me:*scrunches up face* ew whos baby boy?

my mom:*snatches her phone* dont look through my messages!!!

me: IT JUST POPPED UP

my mom: REGARDLESS

me :WHOS BABYBOY MOM OMG THATS SO GROSS'

*turns out my mom is talking to a guy roughly 12 years younger than her but im ok with it*

my mom: *talking on the phone to one of my tias about the guy shes talking to*

my mom: *talking about how after my older brothers baby shower, he got her in-and-out after she said she wanted it*

me: wait, so he was at the baby shower?

my mom: what?

me: ma you just realized you made is easier for me to figure out who this "babyboy" guy is!

my mom: oh fuck-

Me: *in the kitchen*

Me: *hears the doorbell*

Me: *goes and opens the door*

My mom: finally someone opens the door

Me: *see's "baby boy" behind her*

Me: gross

Its finally done!! ; v ;

Not so fun fact, actually, really disturbing and horrific fact: The list of names was so long, they couldn't even unravel it all the way.

Let that sink in.

People are talking about how reading Dungeon Meshi gives them an internal monologue Senshi for eating properly I think we all need to adopt an internal monologue Chilchuck at work. Like the boat is literally sinking and he's just watching it happen because he's on his lunch break.

#remember chilchuk would tell you to always put ur own needs and rights first in the workplace 🧡 (@clowniconography)

This is the Union Chilchuck, reblog him to affirm your own worth as a worker and entitlement to regular breaks

enamored lately with an asmr channel i stumbled upon on youtube that’s literally just a sweet korean lady pretending to give her enormous ragdoll cat (who she pretends is a famous and wealthy cat actress) extravagant spa treatments that are wildly, wildly overpriced (because the cat is rich)

it’s fine she’s good for it

@lemonsharks THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

I will miss them :<

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

reblogging for whomever needs it

Firstly I gave her the name Lisbel, I thought it was a beautiful name and decided to put it on the character. Lisbel is practically an old woman, she's just not older than Charlie. Despite this, Charlie sees her as a motherly figure, as do the others, apart from Alastor, this charming demon, who sees her as an interesting and good woman to spend time peacefully together.

Lisbel is a woman/demon with short, chocolate-colored hair down to the middle of her neck, large eyes with golden irises and violet-colored pupils, her face is thin with thin lips and a small nose. The woman has pale, almost white skin, her body is somewhat slender with sharp nails and a bust a little larger than the other women in the hotel. Lisbel is always seen wearing a dungarees with a dark blue mid-length skirt, a white long-sleeved blouse, long black tights and brown boots. Lisbel also has a pair of horns identical to those of a lamb or sheep that grow larger whenever she enters her demonic rage state.

Lisbel is usually a sweet and kind woman, always willing to help with anything. Normally she tends to act like a concerned and protective mother with the Hazbin Hotel staff members always caring and somehow trying to help with her problems. Despite this, Lisbel also has a small problem... She tends to get angry or snap easily, but it also depends on what the person did or said, and when the members are involved, she basically activate your maternal mode and you better pray to make it out alive. Lisbel feels embarrassed to show this side and always tries her best to control herself but in the end she ends up not being able to. Other than that, she is still a kind and "polite" woman towards other demons, Of course, until someone came to play like her...

— Past ; When Lisbel was alive, she lived a comfortable life, the young woman had a small restaurant, where he served food from every possible place, he was always a culinary lover. The girl also had a happy relationship with a man called Alastor (coincidence?) a local radio host, they were a loving and envious couple... The woman also has two beautiful children who she loved with all her heart and always did her best to be with them both and not miss anything. One day Lisbel was trapped in the restaurant and would take a while to get back, so she asked her children to come home from school alone because she thought everything would be fine. Until many hours passed and the children didn't show up, which left the woman worried and, together with her partner, they called the police. A few days passed and the young woman still had no answer she held on and went after it alone and in this search the poor woman found her children, both were dead with some limbs missing and without clothes... When contacting the police after examinations it was discovered that Both suffered sexual violence and that the missing parts could have been taken for sale or for cannibalism...

Horrified, the woman spent two days without leaving the house and without wanting anything, until hatred and anger became louder and Lisbel decided to go after whoever did this. Upon discovering it, she ended up doing revenge with her own hands and despite being satisfied, the woman also felt bad about what she had just done and ended up ending her life. Thus causing her arrival in hell.

— The fact that Lisbel resembles a lamb is because when she lived, her favorite animals were lambs and sheep.

— When Lisbel arrived in hell, for some reason she couldn't remember practically anything about her old life, just the reason she was in hell.

— The fact of Lisbel's extreme maternal instinct comes practically from her past and she also blames herself for losing her children.

— Lisbel is not afraid of the overlords of hell, so much so that she does not hesitate to face anyone if she messes with a member of the hotel or with her.

— Lisbel is also an overlord but she has a different appearance, this current appearance is just a fake one to walk calmly through hell.

— She knows Charlie long before any of the team, even longer than Vaggie.

— Charlie has her as a motherly figure because Lisbel has always been by her side and supported her in her decisions, especially to build the Hotel.

— Lisbel is taller than Charlie and shorter than Alastor by a meter or two.

Frist meeting - Hazbin Hotel One shot

Hey ! I'm back again ! Little story I write ! Take place after this story !

Don't hesitate to correct me and told me if you appreciate it !

______________________________________________________________

Tysm to this blog for inspiring me to make an RadioApple fanfic!

LILITH,,,GIRL YOU OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND,,,,

let me paint you a picture

Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is gone. A thing of the past, really. Except... it's not, of course it's not. Enough time goes by for things to start settling down. But. There's always a but.

Steve disappears and no one notices. But not because no one cared. It's not the case of Steve the Rich Jock. Of Steve the Friendless. Of Steve with Big House and No Parents.

No one notices because no one remembers him ever existing.

Robin feels like a part of her is missing, like there's an itch she can't quite scratch. Her shifts at the bookstore that she owns seem dull and her eyes keep sliding over to the doors like she's waiting for someone to enter. Her flat feels cold. There's an empty room across the hall.

There's a guy Eddie's kissing in the back alley and it makes him feel nothing at all. There's an S tattoed on his hip. He doesn't remember getting it. He must've been drunk. Or high. He keeps wondering why he stayed so close to Hawkins despite all the trouble it brought him. Must've been Wayne, even though his uncle has more than once declared himself ready to move on.

Dustin mourns an older brother he never had. He stylizes his hair but can't remember where he learnt it from when Suzie asks. The Scoops Troops has always been three people; him, and Erica, and Robin, but no, that doesn't sound right. How would they get past that one guard? And those demodogs in '84? Jonathan? Nancy? They were busy with Will, weren't they?

Nancy hates pools. She can't remember why. There was a party of some sort and Barb...Barb got sucked into the Hell that lives and breathes under Hawkins. But...why would they go to a party in the first place? It makes no sense.

And so on, and so on.

Until, one day, Eddie and Robin stumble upon an abondanoed car in the middle of a forgotten road by the forrest. Keys still inside. And a bat full of nails on the driver's seat.

moving far away to a sunny place.

* @jaywhohasthegay and me arguing over cherry lollipop or grape lollipop*

my brazilian ass about to pull out the fast portuguese so she can't argue since she don't know how to speak it:

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BLOWJOB⠀▎NANAMI KENTO

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑!𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 . . . who you were a teacher assistant to. you were hand picked by the professor himself; out of ten other people, your file in particular catching the keen man’s eye tremendously. he adorned the fact that you spoke multiple languages, had the most years of teacher experience amongst the others, was referred to by numerous respected professors—and of course, was a jaw dropping catch to pick.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the way you carried yourself told him everything he need to know. your posture was prestine, chin held high with your dainty locket necklace hiding behind the folds of your two piece plaided suit. your entire outfit was sleek and firm, not a single wrinkle in sight. he liked that, cleanliness. your toes were pointed with each eloquent step you gradually took striding down the narrow hallway.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀from the moment he dared to lay his eyes upon your existence, he already knew he damn well made the perfect choice. the way you interacted with his students was unlike no other. it was as if you were crafted to help assist his students. the man loved watching you toss jokes at the young adults, more in tune with their sort of humor than he was seeing as you were in your mid twenties. it was all so perfect.