Avatar

I like fandoms and memes

@jaycethepancake

Jayce - 25 - Sonic Apologist

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

Avatar

wild how much fatphobia completely does away with so many things typically regarded as aspects of male privilege

"men's clothing sizes are simple and easy both to navigate and to find" unless they're fat

"men don't have to deal with street harassment" unless they're fat

"men don't deal with groping and nonconsensual touching from strangers" unless they're fat

"doctors take men's health problems seriously and their pain is seen as real" unless they're fat

"systemic infrastructure like medical research, crash testing, etc, is all based on men's bodies, so men get a world that's literally made for them" Unless They're Fat

That’s because one of the functions of fatphobia is de-gendering. Being fat makes you less man and less woman. Because being fat makes you less human. Like for the same reason why fat women’s clothes is always hyperfeminine because you have to be performing gender that much harder to be treated like your gender. Fat men have to as well, and there’s a clear difference between how ppl treat fat men who are hypermasculine presenting (beard, lumberjack outfit, ykwim) than like softer looking fat men.

twitter is going to be shut down. half of reddit is locked or completely unmoderated. the entire first page of google search results are ads. tumblr does not and will never have a functioning search system and their content moderation is 100% automated. youtube only shares ad revenue with people who make snuff films for Youtube Kids. facebook is selling your grandma’s social security number under the table for like $5. web 2.0 is completely dead right

Avatar

The year is 2033.

You fire up your iPad and tap The Sims 5 icon, and immediately a pop up splashes across your screen advertising “The Sims 5 Season 573829283 Sul Sul Pass” for $39.99. You just spent $4.99 on a few hairs and some ugly jeans the other day, but you’d be damned if your sims can’t wear those ugly jeans to a restaurant, which are just now being added after 7 years.

You tap a button to buy the Sul Sul Pass, the app immediately crashes and uninstalls itself from your device.

most insane tumblr experience by far is coming across a post from the mid 2010s that has permanently altered the brain chemestry and life course of you and several of your friends and aquaintances and realizing it only has like 1200 notes

the trans experience of, after running as far away from your forcibly assigned gender as possible, turning around and cautiously approaching it from the other side

Wait I realized this Twitter rate limiting thing happened literally the same day as the Reddit 3rd party app shut downs. Wonder how many of those users have come here today to this Luigi Wins By Doing Nothing Ass website

reminding myself there are no truly "bad days", because every single day, someone somewhere in the world has taken a photo of an extremely tiny animal and shown it to someone else, and that's very good actually

look at this absolutely fucking MINISCULE rabbit. i am sharing it with you. i hope it improves your day

(photo credit to frobunnius on twitter)

Community Label: Mature

Anyone order a newly discovered praise kink with a generous side dish of soft-dom?

Vlad wrinkled his nose. “How do you ‘positively humiliate’ someone? Surely that’s a contradiction of terms?" Nathan shrugged easily. “It depends on the person. Pet names can be a good way to get inside someone’s head. Making people say things they’re normally too shy to say. Getting them to show off while they get themself off. Praise, compliments.” A hot flush stole over Vlad’s cheeks. “Mostly, it’s just making people feel good about things they want but are usually too shy to ask for." Vlad’s ears burned. But he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “But how does that work?” Nathan observed him for several long moments, and then something in his mannerism shifted. An air of authority rolled over him as he righted his posture and patted the meat of his thigh invitingly. “Why don’t you come over here and find out?”

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites by Joy Demorra, book one, available now in two different editions.

Why are there two versions, and what’s the difference? Glad you asked!

Don’t forget to check out the listed content warnings and corresponding heat ratings on my website at www.joydemorra.com

Alt text is provided for screen readers, with another image ID under the cut due to post length.

Community Label: Mature

Sexual themes

Avatar

On twitter.... if you look at more than 600 posts a day you can't look at tweets anymore. And if you make a post that's too funny, you risk temporary suspension