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Because This Is My Life Now

@jawbone-xylophone / jawbone-xylophone.tumblr.com

Welcome to the Kingspear System sufferdome, I will be your humble guide. To the left, you have gays. To the right, you have lesbians. Somewhere in the middle are eldritch horrors. Enjoy your stay.

Welcome cads and charlatans to our citadel of insanity, the door is behind you and the bathrooms are to the left. Here in our humble atelier we are queer, neurodivergent, half a dozen other things and have set up shop to feed the beast of our obsessions. Grab a chair, grab a bite, enjoy the show. Or don’t, we don’t judge.

We do tarot readings for money if you’re into that.

Commissions blog:

Original content:

#my writing

#[insert name here] speaks

Other tags:

#block game (Minecraft)

#carnassial (Body horror/gore)

#[insert name here] reblogs (alter tags)

#[insert name here] slams the reblog (alter favorite tags)

And you know what the worst part is? Gwen DID try to save herself. She tried so SO hard to escape.

“They’ll bring her back like they always do”

“She made it to the surface this time”

She NEVER gave up trying to escape. And Frankie and Andi are the same way! They’ve both tried so hard to make it on their own. To pull themselves up by their bootstraps and climb the capitalist ladder to a “better life” but they NEED each other!

Andi only figured out how to fix the dino-head after Frankie gave her a clue on what needed changing. Andi is the one who negotiated a deal with Sparky. Gwen wouldn’t have made it out of that garage if it weren’t for Frankie and Andi TOGETHER.

It feels like the story is trying to say: It’s ok if you can’t save yourself! It’s ok to feel alone when the world seems to turn against you. Don’t give up! Someone out there needs you just as much as you need them!

And I think that’s beautiful.

Seto Kaiba is probably one of the funniest characters of all time.

Adopted by Mr Lockheed Martin himself. Kills him. Completely removes his dad's company from the military industrial complex, almost exclusively does theme park and trading card tech now. Becomes obsessed with card game. Becomes obsessed with his classmate's 3000 year old headmate, desperate to beat him in a card game, after said headmate defeated him and used dark magic to put him into a coma to try and make him behave like less of a dick. Comes back still a dick. Threatens to kill himself if classmate's headmate doesn't let him win the card game. Finds out classmate had his soul ripped from his body to places unknown after losing a card game, only cares that classmate lost a card game to someone that wasn't him. Classmate's 3000 year old headmate finally returns to the afterlife. Builds a dimensional cannon to launch himself into the ancient Egyptian afterlife. To play a card game with the guy. This probably kills him.

never seen middle schoolers get hyped about art the way they did today when I did blind contour drawings with them and said "I want to see bad drawings. they should look bad. show me the bad ones!!"

literally went from just timid half assed cartoon hands and quiet confused chatter to just. SO MUCH EXCITEMENT. the worst and most detailed and accurate drawings. "look at this one!!!" they had so much fun and they drew and learned so much!! I like my job

The last portrait in the collection I had the pleasure of doing for Sophie. It was such a delight to draw these characters~

Ainu flesh and Kamuy spirit 🩸🐻

/ concept for TTRPG The Black Market Guide to Immortality

Anonymous asked:

i love how with that post about how to wear a suit without looking like a republican you basically said all right-wingers dress like shit. so true king go off

The fact that the current regime dresses like hot garbage is very historically interesting, because we're seeing the Enshittification of Everything reach even the upper echelons of power, all thanks to late-stage capitalism.

Their money is unable to buy true luxury or art, given how they have gutted all craft and context from everything they touch.

Their iphones and vehicles and clothing all fall apart just as quickly as ours - they just can afford to keep replacing them.

Unlike other dynasties, they will leave behind no lasting ruins or artifacts of note.

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Anonymous asked:

Everyone is like "Dracula in the Lucy plot is a dark seductive force that awakens her sexuality and her sinful desires" when he is much more like the personification of a terrifying terminal illness going into remission and then resurfacing again, no matter what doctors or cutting-edge medical technology or love can do.

THIS! lucy having "sinful desires" is so weird bc how can anyone come to that conclusion?

lucy was shown to be more than happy to get married to arthur even if a little overwhelmed from having three proposals at the same time. she wasnt forced into a un loving marriage or having anxiety over the future.

the whole tragedy is that lucy was a young woman whos future dracula cruelly took away in order to turn her into a monster that her beloved friends were forced to destroy.

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Also the fact that, as far as we can tell, Lucy never even sees Dracula in his man form after that first night in Whitby! And when she does think she spies him again at sunset in the graveyard, her visceral reaction is to shudder and hug herself in fear.

For the rest of her illness, we only ever see Dracula in inhuman form — often as a bat, then as motes of moonlight. It’s possible he appears to her as a man on other nights, but she never records it. She is more unaware of the source of her illness than anyone.

And the point of that is to say that Bram Stoker is not over here going, “Look at the man entering Lucy’s bed!!” (The way he is with both Mina and Jonathan.) To Lucy, Dracula is the embodiment of illness; he is a personalized plague.

I think we forget that Gothic horror encompasses a lot of societal fears beyond the sexual — and yeah, incurable disease is a major one.

Hey guys please pay attention to any new changes on these platforms in the terms of service. I, y’know, just have a feeling that we’re about to see a major uptick in censorship.

Started writing a post about a fantasy elf getting isakaied into our world as one of those guys who smokes weed and lives in a van with a wizard painted on it but then I started realizing what that would sound like to anyone outside of tumblr and had a slight existential crisis

Do you think I could name him weed elf. Do you think that normies could accept weed elf into their hearts.

I think weed elf drives his van around Northern California and Oregon. He’s got a warm wetsuit and goes cold water surfing. He’s kind of traded the forest for the ocean but also kind of not because there’s a lot of forests up there. He remembers the summer of ‘67 but doesn’t know why. “Why do they call you weed elf?” they ask him. “Pretty obvious,” he says. Though people who ask don’t believe in elves or falling down a sinkhole and into a beach bathroom trash can so to them no it’s not.

Does he look a little otherworldly? Maybe. Mostly he just looks like some guy. What’s his real name? What’s it to ya? Does he smoke weed? Constantly.

Is weed elf friends with Bigfoot?

Bigfoot doesn’t exist but weed elf has a gorilla costume he uses sometimes to scare tourists away.

Oh I forgot to mention. The old hippie he replaced is the second prince of the southern woods now, third in line to the throne and plotting to kill his older sister. She keeps avoiding his traps through looney tunes shenanigans. He’s still smoking weed also.

Whenever I tell people that I dream of playing as many versions of Cinderella’s stepsisters as possible, I have to mention the mildly deranged illegal production of Cinderella I was in when I was 12.

I used to go to this small drama camp as a kid that was entirely run by one nice lady, I believe named Carol. We would put on abridged minimalist versions of popular musicals at a local church with only one week of rehearsal. These weren’t licensable junior versions. Carol created them herself.

She wrote the scripts to include the major plot highlights and famous lines from the various musicals and she arranged and accompanied all of the songs on the piano herself. We did Annie, Mary Poppins, the Wizard of Oz, and, the year before I came, Peter Pan. These shows were definitely illegal, but they were so small that nobody really noticed, and they were a ton of fun. The camp was also extremely affordable, so nobody was getting rich off of it.

But Cinderella, my final production with them, was next-level. When I arrived for the first day of camp, I was curious to see if it would be the Disney version or the Rodgers and Hammerstein version.

It was both. And neither.

Carol somehow wrote an almost entirely original book for Cinderella that used the best songs from both the Disney and R&H versions. That meant that I, as a stepsister, got to sing the “Stepsisters’ Lament,” a peak song if you ask me, but adorable little kids playing mice also got to sing “Cinderelly, Cinderelly.”

The one thing about combining both versions is perhaps an overemphasis on the Fairy Godmother, because the songs “Bibbidy Bobbity Boo” and “Impossible” are both no-brainers to include. But somehow, things worked out perfectly there, too, by splitting the role.

See, we didn’t just have a Fairy Godmother.

We also had a Fairy Godfather.

I was 12, so I didn’t quite get the joke, but as an adult, I’m obsessed with the implication that Cinderella got her dress, slippers, and carriage through some kind of vague affiliation with the mafia.

btw i love when dubcon is used in fiction as a way to explore characters. i love when characters don’t understand how to “properly” ask for consent because they have never had their consent respected in their lives. i love when traumatized adult characters make potentially unwise choices about what to do with their bodies because they have the autonomy to do so. i love when characters make choices that i personally wouldn’t make, but i can totally understand how they got there. i love when characters have complex, fucked up, unhealthy dynamics, but still care about each other and want to do better. i love when writers trust audience members to read between the lines instead of spoon feeding them moral lessons. i love when characters are allowed to actually fuck up and have mistakes to learn from!