draw this napkin

i stepped in my kitchen late last night and I ain’t had a single snack in the cribo. went back to bed mad disgruntled. felt like oliver twist. like a pre industrial revolution british kid or something

This is why I decided to learn how to bake.

brother i said i missed the bus and you telling me this is why you became an astronaut. where do we go from here?

I wish this necklace was the real deal.

wh

…

Phoenix, it’s me. Believe in yourself.

I'd use a tumblr badge if they gave me one that was evil bleeding skull flaming skull dark blood skull vampire demon wings horned skull oozing fangs sinister skull. For free

i want you guys to GUESS what this anon says. because seeing this notification itself could not have prepared me for the full thing

all wonderful guesses!

but alas, no, it was:

Jesus Christ returning from the dead: "You know what's weird? Drunk driving gets you into Valhalla. It's a huge problem tbh, they're trying to fix it."

new genre of videos youtube’s algorithm has decided I needed to see

Unreal

reblog if ur a gleeful faggot

if Sherlock Holmes was a tumblr user he’d be like prev reblog I noticed you tagged this gifset of Ryan Gosling in the Barbie movie trailer with “I want to *** *** *****” which you likely wanted us to interpret with a vague sexual meaning however three weeks ago you posted that you were researching Greek myths for fun and ever since then you have “coincidentally” used prometheus as a topic in several of your funnyguy posts that only got 200 notes and coupled with your love of birds I can only assume that your tag actually meant “eat his liver” and that you’re deep in some sort of Prometheus hyperfixation that you’re coy about for some reason probably because it’s so weird. and then everyone on here would get all scared because of him

incredibly pleased that this reached at least one person who is apparently obsessed with prometheus

people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying

i saw a really cool butterfly expert man on PBS and was so in awe of him and his butterfly knowledge i tracked down the episode online to see how to spell his name and found his twitter and followed him, only for the next day to awaken to him having read not only my webcomic, but also my livetweets saying how i wanted to marry the butterfly man. he said he was flattered. anyway the moral of the story is please don’t underestimate how far down your twitter a bored entomologist will scroll, and also the internet was a mistake.

One of my favorite genres of post

why are people even fucking with gatcha games the wikipedia random article button is $0 and i just rolled a 10th century byzantine encyclopedia on my 17th try

new gender idea: guy who is super masculine and uses he/him pronouns, but every time someone acknowledges his gender or asks about it he switches to feminine presentation and she/her pronouns and refuses to acknowledge the change

sorry. *girl who is super feminine and uses she/her but everytime someone asks she switches to masc and he/him and refuses to acknowledge the change

sorry. *guy who is su-

hey. stop being funnier than me

Instead of "live laugh love" or "home is where the heart is" my (wonderful, progressive, very accepting) dad put up the racism sign in the foyer

whats the racism sign?

The racism sign, as I like to call it, is from an art piece I made halfway through my first semester of art school:

It reads "any attempted theft will be reported to the police" in the 15 most commonly spoken languages by immigrants here other than English or other western european languages (in descending order).

This sign was only half of the art piece, the other half was the most stereotypically Icelandic painting I could think of:

When the piece was shown the painting and the sign were hung on opposite sides of the room, making the sign more of an afterthought for those who don't speak any of the languages written on the sign. Standing out just enough for them to notice it and maybe wonder what it said, but ultimately not giving it a second thought for the most part.

I wanted to highlight one of the most common ways racism and xenophobia present themselves here as well as the comfort of ignorance. The sign doesn't cater to you, you ignore it it, and you don't care what it might say. You don't have to think about it because it doesn't affect you.

For those who can read the sign though, or bother to translate it, this is just yet another reminder of people's ignorance and double standards. My inspiration for this piece came from my old workplace, where they had this sign hanging on one of the doors:

The main things that stood out about this to me were that

People love saying that we're not racist/xenophobic here even though we very much are. The problem is just that so many people don't take the time to look when it doesn't directly affect them. I was very happy with my piece because people actually came up to me and asked what the sign said because they wanted to know, it started a conversation and made those previously unaware of this issue more aware. I wonder if these sorts of signs would be anywhere near as commonplace as they are if more people looked at them critically and asked "why is this the thing we bother translating?"

Anyway, all that aside I love my dad and I like the way this art piece turned out but also I am slightly worried about giving people the wrong idea when this is the first thing they see when they enter our home 💀

Well if you want my permission to show it then you have it :))

instead of watching the fast and furious you should be meditating on why the earth is so vast and curious