modogoblin
Professor of Assyriology, Matthew Stolper, standing in front of the Colossal Bull Sculpture from Persepolis.
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."
I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job
a small lexicon of love, part 2 — Vladimir Nabokov to his wife Véra
this idea came to me in the shower and I actually doubled over because I was laughing so hard
i call to my children on christmas morning and they all snap their legs running down our ribcage stairs
the OSHA inspector takes one look at this and starts strangling the architect with his bare hands
My body is NOT a temple… It is a labyrinth that I Do Not know the exit to.
wizardcreature
the minotaur isnt in me yet but im working on it.
we should all be allowed to vote slay or no slay on met gala looks and if the majority vote is no slay , a trap door opens underneath the person and they fall into a willy wonka-esque spiral hole that leads directly into hell
oh my god oil is so profitable. why didn’t anyone tell me about this. girl i’m making so much money drilling for oil it’s ridiculous..
-rupal
