Cat snaps

I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.

I don’t understand how people can leave tumblr. I’ve been here since 2009 - I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to. 

i really believe that anyone who made an account between 2009-2011 unknowingly signed a contract with the devil and now we’re all trapped here until the website finally dies like leaving has never been an option in the first place

I'm definitely stuck here. But I'm probably creating a new account and ditching this one, as soon as I come up with a good url.

Cyclops is a good guy again?

Sign me up.

Magneto was right and Cyclops was a good guy when he was hanging out with Magneto.

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!” 

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“ 

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!” 

everybody else is like “charles no” 

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

The only way Jake Overshare Peralta, Jake TMI Peralta, Jake Heart-On-His-Sleeve Peralta would fail to bring up the fact that he is bi, is if he himself were oblivious to the fact. 

Come on @morthils this isn’t Gina Linetti we’re talking about. Stay in character.

The only way Jake would have had a high school boyfriend and not told Amy and Holt is if Jake himself did not realize that this dude was his boyfriend.

He would describe the relationship to Amy and she’d be like, “So you guys were dating” and he’d be like “It wasn’t like that that” and she’d be like:

:|

and Jake would be like, OH MY GOD. I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS.

Lots of “practice kissing” was involved.

Jake’s mom is absolutely That Overly Supportive Parent with the bumper sticker and the flag who never actually like, talks to her son about it.

“I just thought she was really liberal!”

“Look, everyone has celebrity crushes! Like the entire cast of Infinity War. And some male models. And random good looking people on the street. And sometimes you’re handcuffing a guy with his hands in front and you lock eyes and your faces are close and you can smell his cologne and aftershave and ohhhh ok yup I see it now. Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. Yeah, I’m definitely bi.”

And that ignores that, from the start, he wanted to sleep with one of those child soldiers. Weird thing to include, TBQH.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: Season 3 | Official Trailer

they don’t even taste good but I still get excited about chocolate coins

like I don’t necessarily even want to eat them… they’re so low-quality it’s just not worth the effort to masticate them

I guess I just want to have a big pile of them to curl up on top of 

you. you get it.

So, this summer, for work, I had to go to Zurich. Picked up some high-end swiss chocolate coins, brought them home, stuck them in the freezer. EXCELLENT gelt, had a great Chanukah with them! Got to both hoard gold AND eat high quality chocolate!

hello im mad

AND I

HAVE IT

i can’t believe megamind destroyed mvrvel 7 years ago

i’m so glad we’re not sleeping on how brilliant this movie is anymore

I’m just glad I’m no longer alone in preferring Megamind to Despicable Me

I thought for a moment this said you could stand your ground against police rather than that they could stand their ground.

I am less happy

This is an important message.

I will never NOT reblog this.

As a 25 year old desperately trying to be the very best™ I needed this reminder

This. So much this.

I needed that. Desperately.

Finally had some time to do another Tumblrdraws piece. I was very amused by the scenario in the posts above and thought it deserved an illustration.

two seconds later Trish and Kate meet from opposite sides of the mouth of the alley, both holding coffee “Oh did you–” “Sorry, are you here–” “I’m here for the deaf guy,” Kate says. “I’m here for the one who missed the dumpster,” Trish responds as Kate peers into said dumpster. “There’s an extra in here,” Kate prods the guy in black with an arrow. He moans. It’s a sad sound. “I’ll take him, too, I guess. Wanna help me roll this dumpster up the street? I think that’ll be easier than pulling them out.”

Thanks for the follow up :) @sergeant-angels-trashcan

Foggy shows up at Clint’s apartment, asking after his friend the guy in black, yes, that one, thanks for keeping him Not Fucking Dead, hi Jess it’s nice to see you here too

This should have been episode 1 of The Defenders.

Help Jewish Tanks Defeat Hitler poster x

Hey, check it out! The Hebrew on the tank in the foreground is “bar Kokhba” I can’t make out most of the rest, my Hebrew is shit. Anyone who doesn’t need vowels? I know a few names and terms, but that’s about all I can do.

It’s all yiddish, asking for donations to help but 1000 tanks and 500 airplanes for the red army. The names are names of great Jewish heroes and such: bar kochba, yehudah halevi, Baruch Spinoza, Haim Solomon, Mendele the book seller, shalom aleichem, Y. L. Peretz, hirsh lekert, Morris winchewski, and others

Just like Slughorn, Albus Dumbledore collects people. Only, instead of focusing on those with influence, he looks to the outcasts.

The expelled half-giant. The young werewolf. The repentant Death Eater.

He protects them and gives them a second chance. All he asks in return is their loyalty.

And, if on occasion he requests that they undertake a certain task, invoking their debt of gratitude - well, that is no more than he is owed.

He once thought to add a certain disowned Black to his collection, but quickly realised his mistake.

Sirius is not an outcast, but a rebel. He knowingly chose his path, and chooses what price he is willing to pay for it. He refuses to be used.

So Albus Dumbledore abandons him.

Who gave you the RIGHT?

Dumbledore knows Sirius’s loyalty lies with Harry instead of him, and he has no use for someone who is not willing to follow his orders without question. 

Ooooohoo if there’s ever a post that fits my aesthetic…

okay but then where does Harry himself fit into this collection? Is he an outcast because he is “the Boy Who Lived”?

Nooonono, my friend, that’s what makes this post so beautiful. Because it fits the meta I’ve been trying to get people to accept for years. 

Harry was an outcast due to a childhood filled with abuse and neglect. 

Vernon made him an outcast by dismissing his claims of magic, berating him, locking him in a CLOSET and putting bars on his window, and let’s face it, even though her editor made her cut it out, Jo intended for there to be physical abuse. 

Petunia made him an outcast by enabling and contributing to this abuse, as well as making Harry do dozens of chores while doting on Dudley. 

Dudley made him an outcast by bullying him and threatening any students at school who wanted to be his friends. 

And the rest of the wizarding world made him an outcast when they bullied him for being an outsider.

Harry James Potter became an outcast the moment he was placed with The Dursleys.

And who put him there in the first place?

I’m here for this Anti-Dumbledore discussion.

This makes even more sense when you consider why Dumbledore deliberately made Harry an outcast.

Think about it What would Harry have been like if he had grown up in the wizarding world? Or, to put it another way, what would Harry have been like if he had grown up in a world where magic was the norm?

He would have taken magic for granted. He would have been less likely (especially as he got older) to view Dumbledore as a wise mentor and more likely to see him as flawed and capable of bad decisions. He would have seen both the world and Dumbledore as ordinary, with their good points and bad points.

But Dumbledore didn’t need a well-adjusted boy who took magic and the magical world for granted. He needed a child who would love the magical world unstintingly, even irrationally, because it was a haven from neglect and abuse. Even more, he needed a child who feared this world becoming evil and who therefore would not question someone that he saw as the ultimate authority, especially if he believed that obeying that authority would keep the world safe.

Even if obedience meant his own death.

Dumbledore wanted a martyr who would die for the wizarding world, because he believed that Voldemort could not die until Harry did. Which was why he left Harry with the Dursleys and let them neglect and emotionally abuse him for the next ten years.

To get a martyr, he first had to create a victim.

well… well, shit

what

Oh shit. Its been updated.

…I’ve been in the “Dumbledore was on the darker side of morally grey” camp for years but this…this. Holy shit. Oh no.

Lesser known forms of shipping:

I feel both so played and also so educated.

Like, this is blatant tomfoolery, sir, and somewhat insulting to fandom… But I also respect this position and will use it to disappoint my friends’ faith in me. So, thanks!

I have personally encountered at least one apparently sincere example of every single entry on this list.

I need to know examples of “Relationship” quite badly, with links.

If I’m correct about my fandom history, that one’s wonderfully full circle–I’ve been told the term “shipper” is short for “relationshipper,” and comes from X-Files fans who wanted Mulder and Scully to get together

I'm well aware of that. Did you check the OP, where "Relationship" is snarkily defined as "shipping based on mathematical proximity"? That's what I want more information about.

Help Jewish Tanks Defeat Hitler poster x

Hey, check it out! The Hebrew on the tank in the foreground is "bar Kokhba" I can't make out most of the rest, my Hebrew is shit. Anyone who doesn't need vowels? I know a few names and terms, but that's about all I can do.

Contemporary skepticism regarding the Y2K bug really is a reflection of the culture we’re living in: we’re so accustomed to institutional intransigence causing easily anticipated and readily repairable problems to blow up into huge world-ending catastrophes that, when faced with an example of a large problem that was actually dealt with appropriately, it feels like the only rational conclusion is that the problem must never have existed in the first place.