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jan Palina

@jan-palina

mu li wile suli
sickbrokenangel
sickbrokenangel

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER

The feminine urge to walk into the woods never to return.

The masculine urge to walk into the desert to never return.

The androgynous urge to walk into the ocean to never return.

For the oysters.

I can’t believe australian prime minister harold holt was nonbinary

hold on I gotta google something

I probably could've pieced that one together myself tbh

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In case no one told you growing up

  • Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.
  • If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)
  • Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.
  • You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)
  • Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.
  • Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.
  • To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.
  • Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.
  • Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.
  • If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.
  • Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.
  • After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.
  • Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.
  • Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.
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home-is-where-the-wifi-is

To all the kids whose parents couldn’t help you with this kind of stuff

p1ss

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

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balalaikaboss

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

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sirtroyofbaker

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

Dealing with auditory processing disorder

LAWFUL: take the parts you heard and turn it into a clarifying question, e. g. "you saw your cousin where?" or "she's writing a what?"

NEUTRAL: "what did you say?"

CHAOTIC: take a wild stab at what the person said, e. g. "you want to baptize a mackerel?"

Quick fun fact I learned in ASL class:

Babies can begin signing as early as a few months old. You don’t have to wait until they’re 9-12 months to start communicating verbally; the parts of the brain that process and use language develop before a baby is able to speak intelligibly with their mouth. Teaching your kid sign language early means that they can communicate effectively months ahead of schedule, when compared to peers that only speak a spoken language.

Additional fun fact: this jumpstart in language is thought to be a possible way to avoid the “Terrible Twos”; that phase of a toddler’s life is thought to be largely due to a toddler being unable to effectively communicate their needs. If a two year old has already been speaking for a year and a half, they’re far more able to communicate to you what’s wrong. Heck, they might also start reading earlier; languages with a fingerspelling component, like ASL, mean that any speaker needs to be able to spell unfamiliar words and ask about them. This can jumpstart a toddler’s ability to recognize letters as components of a word, and teach them to spell, read, and eventually write these letters to communicate.

Which, of course, lends absolutely zero credence to the theory that ASL will inherently stunt someone’s spoken language skills. If anything, sign language fluency makes acquiring any language, spoken or not, easier rather than harder.

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I once babysat a baby around a year old who knew sign language, the other older kids knew it as well and the whole family was hearing. I asked, and they said nobody they knew was deaf, but it was better for the children to communicate earlier. They gave me a little babysitter translation guide with the different signs I should know and this absolutely tiny nonverbal one year old spent the night telling me exactly what he wanted to eat, when he had to go to the bathroom, what shows he wanted to watch. He even seemed kind of amused at how slow I was to understand his signing. I left feeling absolutely amazed. If I ever had a kid (unlikely) there’s no way I wouldn’t so this with them.

My mom taught me and my siblings sign as babies and now I’m helping teach my baby brother and it’s so cute.

Apparently when I was a toddler I refused to nurse anymore and kept signing “no”, “want” “cup” and from then on I was a sippy cup gal

My baby brother though usually signs to tell us when he sees a dog, he’ll sign dog. For cats he screams though because our cat is loud and he thinks all cats scream instead of meow. The babysitter asked why he screamed randomly sometimes and we had to explain that no that’s just him letting you know he saw a cat.

He really loves light, play and bath. He will sign light if he wants lights on or off. Most often though he signs “wheel”, which means I have to sing wheels on a bus song. I am so tired of that song. It’s his favorite.

We also live close to the zoo so he learned all the animal signs for when he goes. It’s so cute!