The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

cartoon network commercial from 2004

lol so anyway it’s basically canon. Johnny and Jack said so.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why is this really cute? (◕ヮ◕ヽ) their aesthetics compliment each other so well

This is the forbidden reboot couple we deserved

Wow everyone is going through it. Hold my hand

reblog to hold the hand of the person you reblogged from

from an issue of Playboy from 1972

imagine flipping through 20 pages of topless women, then you turn the page and see this

sigh *unzip*

You have been visited by the twocumber. May you receive twofold luck in the coming days

imagine simping for capitalism this badly

A Christmas Carol never even says that Scrooge gives up anything at all, or even somehow stops being super-rich.  He just stops being a dick about it and starts using his wealth to help people.  Scrooge isn’t even written as an indictment of rich people, since plenty others appear in the story and are presented as perfectly nice people.  Scrooge is a miser.  He doesn’t even use his money to help himself, which is called out as the reason he dies within the year.  Learning to care for himself is just as much part of the Ghosts’ lessons as learning to care for other people.

how dare Charles Dickens, a man once sent to work in a factory at age 12 while his father was in debtors’ prison, inflict such Wokery upon us as “caring about the poor”

REFUSE the vile temptation of transgressive speech like “kys”.... EMBRACE responsibility and adopt the go-getter mantra: I'M going to kill YOU.

“um, er, if Loid is supposed to be so smart, why hasn’t he questioned the fact that Yor has superhuman strength and hyper-capable fighting prowess???” because it’s funny

i don’t know what the scene is like on tumblr but there’s a weirdly non-zero amount of people on twitter who keep pushing this take and they’re getting dangerously close to just flat-out saying “plot hole, ding???” Spy x Family is a comedy, please relax

pov youre my calc teacher grading my test and seeing that i drew breaking bad fanart in place of an answer

🧀 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀

do NOT under any circumstances touch this post

🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀

me totally innocent just looking at this post^

did you touch the post. you can tell me

help

heartbreak is trying to give a kid a high five and they just stare at you

Disabled people aren't being class traitors when they report on their civil rights and humanity being violated

You all need to be very very careful in these next couple of years to be extremely good allies to disabled people because it is very likely they are going to attempt to kill us and the way that's done in this country over the past few decades has been denying us access to necessary services and the money we need to acquire most of those services. So many people have died waiting on disability and the likelihood that this is going to get worse is very very high.

Hey, please take this seriously, this is me ringing the warning bell like I've done often over my life, I have been dismissed often and then have been proven by time to be correct. I would appreciate abled people sharing this.

i’ve been fighting to get disability for six fucking years, this is before we got a lot more disabled people cause of covid, all of whom the government wants gone

It's a silent genocide being committed by ableist eugenicists. If you're non-productive and can't have your labor exploited for the benefit of private capital your life has no value to the monsters who control our society. The judicial and state bureacracy intentionally moves at a snails pace in processing disability claims and cases to deliberately wipe out as many people as possible. The government is committing mass murder in this way and a hundred others.

I swear how do I know ZERO celebrities. You guys always talk about famous people and I have no idea who the hell you’re talking about but then it turns out they’re the most well known and liked person on earth right now

because all u do is watch phineas and ferb

They sent Candace to the moon the other day.

First of all, OP is a scrappy doo sympathiser. Secondly, OP got a ticket for jaywalking in the December of 2005

NAH THE WAY HE ATE HIM UP LMFAOOO

@maamlet

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.

literally the first thing that came to mind

me differentiating between chicken broth i made for human consumption and chicken broth i made for the cats: “that’s human soup and this is cat soup.”

cant afford therapy does anybody know any frasier kinnies

You know who else knows any frasier kinnies?

You know who else didn't mean to add that song to this post?

Companies are no longer grounded in reality.

My roommate recently came home pale-faced, like he’d seen a ghost. More like witnessed a massacre. Mass-firings were just done at his company. His job, he’d been assured, was safe. All of his coworkers weren’t so safe, and he had to get texts and phone calls from his work-friends, people he’d worked alongside for years, people he‘d gone out to have drinks with, learn they were no longer employed. To say he had survivor’s guilt would not be hyperbole.

Was this because the company had fallen on hard times? The pandemic has been rough for a lot of industries. No, actually, the company had turned a very nice profit both last year and previous, even in such a troublesome market.

The problem was, you see, the company’s stock price hadn’t risen quite as high as had been projected. They’d made money, sure. Quite a lot of money, in fact. But too many people had projected, i.e., bet the company would do better.

How did the company offset this “loss”? Easy: fire people. Quickest and easiest way to pad the numbers.

No but you don’t understand stock had fallen a percentage point! There was no other way!

We see it all the time. Hugely successful companies reporting ‘record-breaking’ profits then fire huge segments of their workforce - the very people responsible for those record-breaking profits. Why? The money “saved” on personnel costs can boost the stocks even higher!

If your company is struggling, not turning a profit, losing money, people expect layoffs. But to work hard, be successful, your company churning along strong and healthy, and you still lose your job? For what? Because half a percentage point that was dictated by speculation, guessing, by gambling that things would go up or down a certain amount on a graph of rich-people feelings?

I wonder how next year’s speculations will be affected with the information that the company laid off a lot of the people responsible for last year’s profits? Probably not much because the workers are just the components at the company; it’s the leadership that drives the ship, that makes the successes.Those leaders whose bonuses are coincidentally decided by, among other things, the stock price.

Companies are no longer grounded in reality.

“Don’t learn about money, kids. Don’t learn about economics. I know cosmic horror usually focuses on how the biological or astronomical sciences will expose you to the terrible true face of god and you’ll go mad, clawing out your eyes as things that Cannot Exist destroy your life and kill you, but that’s stupid. Biology and Astronomy follow rules.”

“Economics is the tongue of devils and madness and it turns mortal men of moral character into alien monsters incapable of comprehending even the most basic of human connections.”

It’s important to recognize that this isn’t horror, it isn’t insanity, and it isn’t really about companies no longer being grounded in reality.

Sure, it might be comforting to look at business decisions as making little to no sense or being the domain of nightmares, but that doesn’t actually arm you with any useful knowledge in this fight. It just teaches you to treat these things like incomprehensible boogeymen.

You *should* be studying economics. And politics. And the labor theory of value. Because…

Capitalism is highly rational, highly biased, and completely amoral.

Human beings love to find optimal solutions to any problem. The problem capitalism is trying to solve is how to accumulate and centralize the most wealth and power. The kind of behavior described above is completely rational if you understand that capitalism is about meeting that requirement for profit and growth.

It doesn’t care about me, it doesn’t care about you; it doesn’t care about anyone. You can’t make a capitalistic system moral because it does not consider moral concerns when trying to optimize for profit. Literally anything you can do that increases profit is encouraged, regardless of what harm it might do.

These things aren’t alien horror, they’re completely understandable and predictable. And we need to understand them if we’re going to dismantle this kind of system and replace it with something that doesn’t harm people.