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Esoteric Doritos

@jakeyjakeylemonshakey / jakeyjakeylemonshakey.tumblr.com

If you can't do the hustle then you can't be my friend
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nflstreet

Me: this is some of what people call ‘that Zaza’

My imaginary British friend: I’m proper tallywacked off of this cannabinoid

Me: yessirrrr

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damazcuz

I say "oh don't worry he doesn't bite" and you're confused because you don't see any dog but then you notice a single inchworm moving purposefully across the floor towards you at an alarming pace

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what if your phone started ringing one day and it's a chicago area code and when you answer you hear from the other line

"HelLOOOOoooo i'm the Nostalgia Critic i remember It so You Dont Have To"

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as bad as things may get in life there's an alternate reality out there where monkeys are native to New Jersey