Jealous
Warning: swearing, drinking
“Dude, you’re staring,” Rook leans over to whisper to Colson. He turns his head slightly to look at his best friend for a moment before turning his attention back to you. “Why don’t you just go over and say hi?”
The idea of that makes Colson snort and shake his head. He takes a long swig from the glass of tequila in his hand, the familiar burn soothing him in an odd way. He doesn’t want to feel these feelings so getting blind drunk seems like a good idea. Watching you sit on the couch with some random guy, talking and laughing clearly isn’t a good idea because he can feel his blood boiling. His mind is creating multiple scenarios, all of which involve him splitting the guy’s lip open with his fist.
You don’t like feeling like you’re being watched. You check over your shoulder just as Colson turns to head out into the backyard in a huff. Rook gives you a sympathetic smile before following the tall, brooding man. You’re not really sure why he’s been so hostile since you go to his place but it’s starting to give you a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. You feel like he’s scrutinising every little thing you do and you hate it. It’s turning you into a self-conscious mess. You thought it was odd that when you showed up to his house, Colson could barely acknowledge your presence and now he’s watching you like a hawk? The guy is the most confusing person you’ve ever met and it’s driving you insane. You turn your attention back to the man you were talking to and laugh at the joke you half heard.
He’s a nice guy, Frankie, and you’re really enjoying his company but in the back of your mind, all you can do is think about Colson. You find yourself wondering if Colson is thinking about you, that he had to go outside to stop himself from doing something stupid, that he’s watching you because maybe he’s…jealous? The thought makes your stomach flip and your heart begin to race. Then you bring yourself back to reality. Why would Colson be jealous of a guy talking to you? He’s only ever seen you as a friend. Your mind is racing and it’s creating a nervous energy about you that you somehow have to get rid of.
“Hey, do you want to go for a swim in the pool?” you randomly blurt out while Frankie is in the middle of telling a story you weren’t listening to.
“I would but I didn’t bring my bathing suit,” he chuckles with a small smile.
If you weren’t so preoccupied by Colson, you may even be able to focus on how attracted you are to Frankie. He’s tall, ripped build, with chocolate brown eyes, with lashes for days and dark brown curls. He wears a short stubble on the lower half of his face and the hair accentuates the sharp cut of his jawline. Classically handsome but somehow not attractive enough for you. For some reason, you love lanky, foul mouthed guys, with bleach blonde hair, covered with tattoos and ocean blue eyes that you could get lost in for days. Well, at least one man in particular.
“Who needs a bathing suit? It’s LA, live a little!” you grab Frankie by the hand and drag him off the sofa.
When you step out into the backyard, the silence is deafening. Everyone stops talking and just stares at you. You hadn’t even noticed that you were the only two inside the house. All of your friends, including Colson, are sitting around the open firepit now awkwardly sipping their drinks and avoiding eye contact but not wanting to speak to each other. Colson is sitting with his back towards you and you can tell he’s pissed off that you came outside by the slump of his shoulders.
It’s so strange when you walk into a group of people who you know were just talking about you. It’s not a nice feeling by any stretch of the imagination and it kind of makes you wish you’d stayed inside on the sofa. Ashleigh is the first to finally break the uncomfortable silence.
“Hey, I was just about to come in and get you,” she smiles at you but you can see the apology in her eyes.
“That’s ok! Frankie and I were thinking of going for a swim. Does anyone want to join?” you ask the group and a few of the usual suspects perk up.
Rook is the first to begin stripping off his clothes before cannonballing into the water. Baze and Slim join him and Ashleigh and Sophie agree to dangle their feet in from the side. The boys don’t seem to like this idea and Baze tells them that if they don’t get their whole butts in the water, they will be dragged in fully clothed. They don’t like the sound of that so they agree to strip down and they dive into the water.
Frankie smiles at you and leads you to the water’s edge where he begins to remove his sneakers and socks. When he removes his t-shirt, you can’t help but stare at his rippling muscles and abs that adorn his body. You figured there was something impressive underneath his t-shirt but his olive skin seems to make everything that much more pronounced.
Colson watches from his spot by the fire and his hand tightens into a fist again as he watches your admiring Frankie’s body. Part of him wants to get up and kick Frankie out of his house but a stronger part of him is telling him to chill the fuck out. The chill part wins out but only because he’s fairly sure he’s too drunk to stand without stumbling. His self-control wavers again when he spots Frankie ogling your body as you strip down to your bra and panties. He can’t help but stare at you a little longer than a ‘friend’ probably should, finally turning away as you slide your body gracefully into the water.
“Your friend Colson doesn’t seem to like me very much,” Frankie murmurs as he leads you to the deep end.
“Oh he’s fine, he’s just very protective of me. We’ve been friends for forever,” you dismiss Frankie’s concerns with a wave of your hand.
You try to play it cool but inside your stomach is in knots at the idea of Colson caring about you in any way other than a friend. You’ve never really dated before so you’ve never really noticed if Colson cared or not but the fact that even Frankie is picking up on his hostility, leads you to believe that maybe he does.
Frankie and you splash around and chat, off in your own little world, before a couple of the others decide to join you in at the deep end. Colson stays sitting next to the fire and when Rook comes over to talk to Frankie, you take the opportunity to go and talk to him.
He doesn’t look away from the fire as you approach him but Colson can feel in his gut that this is not a conversation he wants to have right now. You sit beside him and snatch the beer from his hand, taking a long swig. He can’t help but roll his eyes about how unperceptive you are. He thought he made it pretty clear that he wanted to be left alone.
“So are you going to sit here like a buzzkill all night or are you going to eventually acknowledge the fact that you have guests?” You ask nonchalantly but your heart is pounding so hard in your chest you can hardly hear your own thoughts.
“Didn’t realise there was going to be extras tonight,” he looks over your shoulder, eyeing Frankie as he makes small talk with all your friends.
“I didn’t think you’d mind considering all the women you’ve brought to my parties and gatherings over the years,” you snort and take another sip of his beer. He snatches the bottle from your hand before you even have a chance to swollow, causing beer to trickle down your chin. “Damn Kells, what the hell is your problem?” you yell as you wipe the beer off with the back of your hand.
“You and your fucking Ken doll boyfriend are my problem!” he yells back before turning on his heels and storming off into the house.
You feel your cheeks redden as you look around and notice everyone’s eyes on you. Frankie grimaces when you look at him and you feel so embarrassed that it enrages you. You decide in that split second that if Colson has a problem, he better damn well spit it out now or keep his mouth shut.
You stalk off into the house, roughly pulling your jeans and t-shirt on, in search of his dumbass. You call his name as you go from room to room but come up empty. You figure that he’s probably gone to his room and you stand at the bottom of the stairs contemplating whether or not to follow him or not. The thumping around you did kind of caused you to blow off some steam and now you’re not nearly as mad. Then you remember the way he dissed Frankie in front of everyone and your anger returns. You storm up that staircase like a bat out of hell.
Colson sits on the floor at the end of his bed with his head in his hands. He can hear Rook’s voice in the back of his mind telling him earlier in the evening to keep his cool and not blow up at you but he snapped. All he wants to do is tell you how he feels but every time he works up the courage something gets in the way. Usually it’s his career or Cassie so he kind of got used to you always being there in the background. He forgot about the chance that you might meet someone and he would miss his chance. You’ve dated occasionally in the past but it’s just been a date here and there. You’ve never brought a guy that you’re seeing over to meet your friends and the fact that you’ve brought Frankie absolutely terrifies him. Colson tries to shake off the fear and drags himself off the floor. He decides to take a shower in the hopes that by the time he’s done, you’ve already skipped out and taken your boy toy with you.
You stand outside his door, unsure of whether to knock or just storm in. If you really want to convey the anger you’re feeling, you decide practically kicking the door down is the best way to get your point across. You fling the door open so hard that it slams into the wall behind it and you can hear the sound of drywall breaking but that’s not what takes your breath away. Standing in front of you, with nothing on but a towel flung over his shoulder, is a very confused and pissed off Colson.
“Shit, sorry,” you screw your eyes closed and fumble around for the door handle before swinging the door shut behind you.
Your whole body feels like it’s on fire but you’re not sure if that’s from embarrassment or arousal at seeing Colson completely naked for the first time. Your heart is thumping in your chest and your breathing is fast and laboured. You lean back against the wall to try and get your bearings. You close your eyes and immediately open them as a flash of Colson’s tattooed skin invades your mind. You bite your bottom lip to keep from groaning out loud as your mind continues to betray you with images of his body. All of his body.
“What the fuck Y/N?” Colson spits at you from the doorway of his bedroom.
You hadn’t even realised the door had opened again until Colson’s enraged voice pierces your ears. You look up at his darkened eyes and flared nostrils. His teeth are gritted and you’re fairly sure you can see steam coming out of his ears. He looks like a bull before a fight and your mind and body immediately considers possible escape routes to avoid the world’s most uncomfortable conversation.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to be naked,” you quickly explain as you try to stop your mind from remembering.
You feel your cheeks heat and a knot begins to form in the pit of your stomach. It’s an overwhelming feeling that you definitely didn’t expect. You knew you found Colson attractive, you just didn’t expect the intense sexual attraction you’re currently feeling. It’s making it very difficult for you to concentrate. All your mind wants to do is create different scenarios in which you kiss every inch of Colson’s body, feeling him on top of you, listen to him moan your name as he climaxes.
You shake your head and take a deep breath to clear your mind of any inappropriate thoughts. At the end of the day, he’s one of your closest friends and you would hate to ruin any friendship you have by creating some strange, sexual tension. Right now, you just have to focus on ignoring the fact that Colson is now only wearing a towel around his waist, low on his waist, and that he currently looks like he wants to murder you.
“Maybe if you tried knocking, you would get such a shock!” he grits his teeth as if the words are painful to him.
“Well, I actually barged in because I was pissed about how rude you were to me, for no fucking reason and-”
“No fucking reason? Are you insane or blind? Or maybe you’re both!”
“What in god’s name are you talking about?” you throw your hands up in exasperation, feeling like you two are having completely different conversations at the same time.
Before you can stop him, Colson is dragging you into his bedroom by the wrist, kicking the door shut behind him. He twists you around so your back is pressed against the closed door and suddenly his lips are on yours. All of your senses are consumed by the feeling of his lips on yours. You can taste the beer and weed on his tongue, smell his cologne mixed with the smoke of the bonfire, feel his hot flesh beneath your fingertips as you graze your hands over his biceps. Your animalistic needs take over and you find yourself breathless and needy for all of him. You feel weightless and heavy at the same time. Every rational thought has escaped you. All there is is him.
Then as quickly as it began, it was over. Colson pulls away from your lips but rests his forehead on yours.
“Seeing you with another guy may actually be the end of me,” he whispers and your skin erupts in goosebumps, both at his words and the feeling of his hot breath against your face.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” you tell him honestly.
“I don’t want you to say anything. I don’t want anything to ruin this bubble that I’m in. We can just pretend that nothing else matters right now and that we’re just here, together.”
You stay like that for a little while longer. Just holding each other up, feeling each other, listening to each deep breath, watching the rise and fall of the other’s chest. If you could, you would stay in that moment forever with him. While he holds you, your mind is silent. There’s no intruding thoughts of his naked body, no reminder of the great guy waiting downstairs for you. Everything else has stopped and for now, it’s just the two of you.
“Stay with me?” Colson begs as you begin to pull away from him.
“Kells, I-” you begin but he instantly cuts you off.
“Just one night with you, that’s all I need to get it out of my system. Then we can go back to exactly how it was, just friends. All I’m asking for is one night.”
You sigh but something in the way he watches you makes you nod before you can really think about what you’re agreeing to. You both know that things will never go back to the way they used to be, yet somehow you’re ok with that.
Colson pulls you to his large ensuite with him and drops his towel. Your immediate reaction is to turn away but you resist your instincts. He watches you, waiting for your reaction. You let your eyes roam his body freely now. You notice tattoos you’d never really paid attention to before, you notice the way his torso is more defined than you’d expected, you notice the way his chest rises and falls rapidly as take him in. Your eyes continue to drop until you’re finally focusing on the one thing you’d been trying to avoid 10 minutes ago.
His large erection makes you half choke on your own breath. The idea of getting it inside of you without causing serious damage seems impossible but it thrills you at the same time. You bite your bottom lip as you drink in all his male glory. It kind of satisfies your curiosity to know all the rumours about his well endowment are true.
“Now you,” he breathes as he watches you.
You bite your lip again but follow his instruction. You lift your t-shirt over your head and drop it to the floor beside you, your jeans following closely behind. You stand there in nothing but your wet bra and panties as you try to contain your nervousness. You reach around to your bra but Colson grabs your wrist to stop you.
“Let me,” he instructs you and you stand still for him, holding your breath.
He grabs the hook of your bra and unclasps it without any issue. He slides the straps down your arms before letting the bra fall to the floor. He drinks in the sight of your breasts. He runs a long slender finger down the valley of your breasts before lightly tracing your nipples. Your breathing is completely erratic, your chest rising and falling rapidly.
He leans down and kisses along the ridge of your collarbone to the curve of your breasts, taking his time to slowly tease your skin. He envelops you left nipple in his mouth and you gasp sharply. You feel his lips pull into a smirk. He uses his thumb and forefinger to tweak your right nipple as he sucks, nips and licks on your breast and nipple. Your insides quiver under the seductive assault.
Colson isn’t sure how much longer he can tease you. He’s waited what feels like years to finally have you melting under his skilled fingers and wicked mouth. He wants to savour every moment but he also doesn’t want to give you the chance to change your mind. He also is aware of all of your friends and Frankie downstairs, who could interrupt at any moment. Finally having you half naked, your taut nipple in his mouth, moaning and clawing your fingers through his hair, is muddying his rational thoughts. When he feels as though he is teasing himself more than you, he finally pulls away. Your skin is flushed, your hair is dripping wet, dishevelled and your eyes are wild but to Colson, you’ve never looked more beautiful.
He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the shower with him, flicking the water on, and holding you under the shower head. You gasp as cold water hits you, slowly warming to a comfortable temperature. In an instant his mouth is on yours and your back is pushed against the cold tiles of the wall. Colson grabs your thigh and lifts your leg to rest against his hip. He grinds into you in a delicious rhythm of friction and possessiveness. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him against you as he kisses your cheeks, your jawline, your neck. He sucks and bites every piece of flesh he can get his mouth to and you know by the frantic way he moves that he’s marking you.
“Colson…I need you,” you beg as he sucks your nipple again.
He growls against your skin in approval before pulling away to study the apex of your thighs. He pushes his hand between the two of you and grazes against your clitoris. You gasp and moan at the same time. You’ve never been this turned on by a man before. Every touch elicits an involuntary movement or sound. You’re putty in his hands, ready to be pleasured and used in any way he sees fit.
Colson grabs his erection firmly in his hand and lines the tip up to you. In one quick thrust, he pushes himself inside you and you cry out at the fullness you feel. You can feel every ridge, every vein of him inside you. He twitches and flexes and you shiver with excitement. E kisses you again, softly this time, running his fingers gently through your hair. When he moves, it’s slow and deliberate and you keel with pleasure. You try to move your hips to increase the friction but he simply grabs your thighs so you have to wrap your legs around him, giving him all of the control as he holds you up against the wall.
Colson wants to remember every moment he has with you as he’s not sure he’ll ever have you again after this night. He wants to remember the feel of your nails scraping down his back, the sound of your moans, the way you whisper his name, the feel of your tightness and warmth around his dick. He wants to make you so desperate for your release that you feel like it’ll never come. The pleasure he gives you will make you wish it never has to end. He reaches down and rubs tight circles on your clit, causing you to cry out.
“Yeah, that’s it baby, scream for me. Tell me how much you love it,” he demands against your ear and you whimper, all words escaping you. “Tell me,” he growls before nipping your earlobe.
“Colson, I love it so much. I don’t ever want you to stop. I want to cum so hard for you,” you moan and throw your head back, wave after wave of pleasure building inside of you.
“Good girl,” he praises and before you can respond he begins to pound into you with unimaginable speed. His finger works harder and faster against your clit and before you can catch your breath, the biggest orgasm you’ve had breaks through you.
You scream and quiver against his body as he continues his pace. You’re not even sure how he can move that quickly and hold you up at the same time. His thrusts begin to feel sloppy and out of rhythm and suddenly he’s calling out your name and slams into you one last time before collapsing against your shoulder. His breathing is thick and unsteady against your neck and you stroke your fingers through his hair tenderly.
You feel yourself finally coming down from your own high as Colson holds you. He gently places you down and you wobble slightly as you regain your footing. Colson washes your skin tenderly with a washcloth and coconut scented soap. Neither of you says anything and you’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Once Colson has finished cleaning you, you rinse yourself and return the favour. You’re slightly embarrassed as you notice the scratch marks you left down his back and you run the cloth over them as gently as possible.
Once you are both clean, Colson shuts the water off and steps out to grab you each a large fluffy towel. It’s now glaringly obvious to you that the silence is not a good thing and your chest begins to feel heavy. Colson can barely make eye contact with you and his whole demeanour is tense, like he can’t wait for you to leave. You eye your wet bra and panties on the floor and grimace at the idea of having to put them back on. Seeing your dismay, Colson finally speaks.
“Wait here,” he mumbles before disappearing into his bedroom.
He returns a few moments later with a pair of clean black boxers and an oversize black t-shirt. He hands them to you and you mutter a thank you before slipping into the briefs. The large t-shirt hides the fact that you’re not wearing a bra and you’re grateful for that. You feel somewhat naked without a bra and you know that if you feel uncomfortable, your friends will notice and wonder why. You slip your jeans, which is kind of pointless considering Colson’s tee is basically a dress on you, and check your appearance in the large bathroom mirror. You run your fingers gently through your hair to calm the frizz and you rub away the small smear of mascara from under your eyes. You feel somewhat more confident now that you’re dressed and your appearance is somewhat back to normal. You move to leave as Colson dresses himself in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie when you hear his small voice behind you.
“Don’t leave,” he whispers and you stop in your tracks. You turn around and he is watching you with the most heartbreaking expression on his face.
“What did you say?” you ask feeling dumb because you heard exactly what he said, you just don’t believe it.
“Don’t leave,” he repeats again. “Please don’t go back downstairs to him. Stay here with me.”
The defeated look on his face is physically painful to you. You don’t really know what to say but you want to say something to make him feel better, anything. Maybe he didn’t mean to say it? Maybe he just feels uncomfortable that what you just did may have completely ruined your friendship forever and he’s regretting it or he’s trying to save it by pretending everything is normal. Either way, you feel an anxiety rising in you that is so overwhelming you may just burst into tears right in front of him. You feel that usual heat in your neck and face that you get when you’re upset. Your eyes begin to feel with tears that you’re desperately trying to hold back. You feel utter embarrassment that Colson is seeing you this vulnerable.
“I…I don’t want to hurt you, Colson,” you say barely above a whisper. He moves towards you, his arms out in comfort but you step back. You see a flash of hurt across his face but in an instant it’s gone. “I just…I don’t want you to feel obligated to me. What we did was-” your voice breaks and you have to take a deep breath to steady yourself. “What just happened was a-amazing and I’ve never experienced an orgasm like that, ever. But I don’t want you to feel you have to make this into more than it is for my sake. I’m ok with it just being a one time thing.”
You look down at your feet as a tear spills over and you feel completely betrayed by your own body. You know that your actions and your emotions are literally saying the complete opposite of your words but you’re hoping that if you say them confidently enough, Colson will believe you. You take another steadying breath and look up at him, a huge grin spread across his face. He steps towards you again and once again you step back.
“If you move away from me one more time, I will bend you over my knee until your ass is as red as your cheeks,” Colson threatens and you gulp.
He moves more deliberately towards you and envelops your body into his strong arms. He holds you against his body and runs a hand up and down your spine. You shiver against him and your tense muscles instantly relax in the feeling of his comfort. You’re trying to not over-analyse why he’s hugging you, you just want to enjoy these last few moments of time with him before you have to say goodbye.
“The fact that you even thought for a second that I would only need one night with you to get my fill of you, is insane and hilarious at the same time,” he murmurs into your ear and you stiffen and pull away to look at him. “Seeing you with that Frankie prick has been making me jealous all night. In fact, seeing you with any guy other than me, drives fucking me crazy. How can you not see how badly I want you?”
“I thought that- I thought that maybe I was just imagining things because I wanted you and I thought I’d just naively convinced myself that you felt the same,” you try to explain but now saying the thoughts out loud, they even sound ridiculous to you.
Colson doesn’t say anything. He just gently laces his fingers in your hair and angles your face towards him so he can press his lips to yours lovingly. It’s a gentle kiss but it sparks a fire deep in your belly that takes your breath away and leaves you satisfied at the same time. You’d never imagined a feeling like this before yet somehow you always knew if you ever got the chance to be with Colson, this is what it would feel like. You melt into him and he wraps an arm around your waist to hold you against him. You’re not sure how long you kissed for but eventually you have to pull away to gather your breath. Colson rests his forehead against yours and you close your eyes.
“Now, get that fucker Frankie out of my house so I can make you moan my name again without feeling guilty,” he growls in your ear.
Your eyes shoot open to see him looking down at you with a face splitting grin and you can’t help but throw your head back and laugh. A real, carefree laugh that leaves you feeling breathless and light-headed.
