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hey

@j0li3-23

welcome to bad poetry and shit
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thinningdiary

Motivational quotes🌸✨

TW: ED, don’t read if you’re recovering.

These are just some phrases that have helped me to stay focused on my goal. My favorite ones are written in bold. enjoy 🙌🏻

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I look around my room.
I see the stuffed animals that filled the empty space in my bed.
The small round tin I filled with dandelion wishes .
And all the books that filled my unoccupied time.
I’ve spent so many years
Looking to fill the empty spaces
With magic and light and wishes
I’d close my eyes and take a breath and whisper to the first twinkle in the sky
“Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.”
I believed if I were the first to wish upon the first star in the sky
Or blow all the seeds off a dandelion in one puff
I’d have a little magic of my own
Some warmth and kindness from the universe given special to me
... but
I have yet to blow all the seeds in one puff and I always wondered if the city lights were to blame for dulling the light of the true first star.
But no worries, all is not lost or forgotten
Because you can still find me whispering that prayer to the stars under my breath and plucking dandelions off neglected lawns, a little hope still shining in me, that If I can do one just right, maybe I’d be graced with a wish granted by the universe.
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Feelings or care?

Do I still have feelings for him?

Or do I just care about him? Because when he said he introduced her to his family for a second I thought “ I hate her “ then I thought “ no, I hate myself. I hate that I wasn’t good enough to show to your family”

I want him happy more than anything else. And for a while I wondered, “do I just want a boys attention?” So I sign up for all the dating apps there are and talk and go on a date and set up dates I’ll never follow through with. But none of it felt like I wanted it or didn’t feel right. He feels right, he feels natural, is it a friendship that will last for decades to come? Is that what’s coming naturally ?

People post about these friendships, the kind where no matter how long you go without talking or fight with, when the dust settles, you pick up the conversation where it left off.

If that’s so why dose my heart still ache when I listen to the heart ache she caused you? Is it because shes hurt someone I care deeply about? Or because she meant enough to you to be hurt over? A friend wouldn’t be upset that you were in love, they would be upset that you were heart broken. But I am both...

He was happy with her and it hurt tremendously to see it. Why should it hurt, if I wanted him happy? I stepped away to allow him his happiness without my interference. And I did my best to cut my ties with him so I wouldn’t interfere, because I know I couldn’t help it.

My heart doesn’t flutter so loudly anymore, I know his energy so it doesn’t shock me like it first did. But I feel light with him...?

I don’t understand it.

No one else can do what he does to me, is it cus he is the best friend I will ever have, or the best love i am destined to have?

Or maybe I’m just a loon who can’t let go? Who knows.

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we left on awful terms the second time around.

I didn't mean to 

or

maybe I did?

im not sure because see

the thing is 

there’s a big part of me that knows your kindness and good

and there’s another that has looked at the facts and has seen what you've done

what you haven’t when you should have

and what you've said

how confusing it is 

to love the person that has done so much to hurt you

I turned cold the second time around 

and I blamed you

and I wanted you to truly hurt this time 

just in that moment

I took the chance 

I wish I hadn't 

But we all have regrets I guess.

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Im moving on

I think?

I hope.

It doesn't hurt as much anymore.

It doesn't hurt to think about you as much.

It used to 

a lot 

But now not so much 

It hurts to think about you with her but that’s another story.

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reblogged

I’m gonna try a version of this starting Tuesday, and will keep a food log and before and after photos. (Don’t know how long I’ll do this but we’ll see.)

And I’m throwing in these exsersizes with my butt/leg exsersize as well. We’ll see how this goes!

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I'm just so sad

All the fucking time

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reblogged

To keep yourself from getting dizzy when working out, don’t burn off everything all at once. Doing small workouts in different points of the day is perfectly fine.

✨Running 6 mph for 10 minutes burns 102 calories

✨ Doing sit-ups for 10 minutes burns 52 calories

✨ Doing push-ups for 10 minutes burns 69 calories

✨ Doing jumping jacks for 10 minutes burns 80 calories

✨ Doing lunges for 10 minutes burns 82 calories

✨ Doing squats for 10 minutes burns 130 calories (!!!)

✨ Running up stairs for 10 minutes burns 153 calories

Remember to drink water and to stay safe and that recovery is always an option.

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(not mine)

Repost if you want to look like this.

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today i binged after 48h fasting (i purged anyway) so ….

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And its the end if the day and the anxiety I pushed aside all day starts to set in. It feels like I'm slowly suffocating. I'm thinking a million thoughts a minute and its all overwhelming. Everything is passing by me in a confused and unerving blur and I'm feeling insecure pinching at the fat on my body and picking at the imperfections on my skin till they bleed. When that fails I think of what I can control and count my calories..When that fails to make my mind go blank I replace the fear with a raging flame so strong that when its fizzled out I can finally close my eye and rest.

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And ill rant again on a post no one will notice. But I don't mind it.