Feelings or care?
Do I still have feelings for him?
Or do I just care about him? Because when he said he introduced her to his family for a second I thought “ I hate her “ then I thought “ no, I hate myself. I hate that I wasn’t good enough to show to your family”
I want him happy more than anything else. And for a while I wondered, “do I just want a boys attention?” So I sign up for all the dating apps there are and talk and go on a date and set up dates I’ll never follow through with. But none of it felt like I wanted it or didn’t feel right. He feels right, he feels natural, is it a friendship that will last for decades to come? Is that what’s coming naturally ?
People post about these friendships, the kind where no matter how long you go without talking or fight with, when the dust settles, you pick up the conversation where it left off.
If that’s so why dose my heart still ache when I listen to the heart ache she caused you? Is it because shes hurt someone I care deeply about? Or because she meant enough to you to be hurt over? A friend wouldn’t be upset that you were in love, they would be upset that you were heart broken. But I am both...
He was happy with her and it hurt tremendously to see it. Why should it hurt, if I wanted him happy? I stepped away to allow him his happiness without my interference. And I did my best to cut my ties with him so I wouldn’t interfere, because I know I couldn’t help it.
My heart doesn’t flutter so loudly anymore, I know his energy so it doesn’t shock me like it first did. But I feel light with him...?
I don’t understand it.
No one else can do what he does to me, is it cus he is the best friend I will ever have, or the best love i am destined to have?
Or maybe I’m just a loon who can’t let go? Who knows.
we left on awful terms the second time around.
I didn't mean to
or
maybe I did?
im not sure because see
the thing is
there’s a big part of me that knows your kindness and good
and there’s another that has looked at the facts and has seen what you've done
what you haven’t when you should have
and what you've said
how confusing it is
to love the person that has done so much to hurt you
I turned cold the second time around
and I blamed you
and I wanted you to truly hurt this time
just in that moment
I took the chance
I wish I hadn't
But we all have regrets I guess.
Im moving on
I think?
I hope.
It doesn't hurt as much anymore.
It doesn't hurt to think about you as much.
It used to
a lot
But now not so much
It hurts to think about you with her but that’s another story.
I’m gonna try a version of this starting Tuesday, and will keep a food log and before and after photos. (Don’t know how long I’ll do this but we’ll see.)
And I’m throwing in these exsersizes with my butt/leg exsersize as well. We’ll see how this goes!
WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE.
WELL HELLO THERE, LONG TIME NO SEE
To keep yourself from getting dizzy when working out, don’t burn off everything all at once. Doing small workouts in different points of the day is perfectly fine.
✨Running 6 mph for 10 minutes burns 102 calories
✨ Doing sit-ups for 10 minutes burns 52 calories
✨ Doing push-ups for 10 minutes burns 69 calories
✨ Doing jumping jacks for 10 minutes burns 80 calories
✨ Doing lunges for 10 minutes burns 82 calories
✨ Doing squats for 10 minutes burns 130 calories (!!!)
✨ Running up stairs for 10 minutes burns 153 calories
Remember to drink water and to stay safe and that recovery is always an option.
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
hope ya pets even healthier in 2018
And its the end if the day and the anxiety I pushed aside all day starts to set in. It feels like I'm slowly suffocating. I'm thinking a million thoughts a minute and its all overwhelming. Everything is passing by me in a confused and unerving blur and I'm feeling insecure pinching at the fat on my body and picking at the imperfections on my skin till they bleed. When that fails I think of what I can control and count my calories..When that fails to make my mind go blank I replace the fear with a raging flame so strong that when its fizzled out I can finally close my eye and rest.
As some of you know I am a full-time veterinary technology student, and I was getting super frustrated at the lack of basic radiographic positioning aids that I made them myself. These all correspond to images I need for one of my classes this semester. not the standard dog/fanart but thought I’d share!! ** please do not take without asking! :)
reblog and tag how much weight you want to lose
4 lbs
40 lbs
47 pounds (ugw 95)
43 lbs
30 pounds
12kg
28 kg
7 pounds
20kg
25kg
10 / 15 kg
60
15 pounds
20 pounds
56 pounds
79 lbs:( (i already lost some so it changed)
15 lbs !!!!
23lbs
30lbs
Oh shit. No. Shit. Thank you
Just gonna reblog this out of gratitude because I actually did forget…
Fffffffff let me get right on that.
and then reblog for the next forgetful son of a bitch
Thanks for reminding me lmao
Drunken haze
I can't remember it clearly for the life of me
Its a he said she said situation.
if I did
Then I didnt realize and I'm so sorry
If I didnt
then you have no faith in me.
““Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence…””
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



