I’ve seen some discussion about what exactly we lost during the discourse, and so as my contribution I would like to posit some aspec vocabulary that fell completely out of use or simply became less popular due to discourse, along with some vocabulary that got coined during the discourse and never got a chance to become popular because of that. I encourage people to start using these terms again, we deserve to have our own community and language.

Zucchini: A word used to refer to someone’s queerplatonic partner. 

Aromate: A friend that’s basically your soul mate, just not in a sexual or romantic way.

Peach Fuzz: A qpp or close friendship where two people pretend to date in order to avoid unwanted questions and comments about why they’re not in a relationship.  

Squish: A friend crush

Lush: A crush based in sensual attraction 

Plush: A crush based in queerplatonic attraction 

Smush: A crush based in sexual attraction 

Swish: A crush based in aesthetic attraction 

Feel free to add more or ask for clarification on definitions, and remember your aspec vocabulary y’all! 

Not being able to talk openly about my orientation without fear of ridicule isn’t “straight privilege”.

Not being able to mention my orientation without worry that it will impact my reputation as a professional or as a student is not  “straight privilege”.

Not being able to talk about my orientation in front of most of my family without fear of them rejecting me isn’t “straight privilege”.

Not seeing any representation of people like me in the media isn’t “straight privilege”.

Not having any education that people like me exist isn’t “straight privilege”.

People telling you that you’re making your orientation up to be special or different isn’t “straight privilege”.

People being uncomfortable with you mentioning your orientation and telling you that no-one needs to know isn’t “straight privilege”.

Being told that your orientation isn’t real isn’t “straight privilege”.

Being told that your orientation is probably a symptom of some medical condition isn’t “straight privilege”.

People assuming things about your life and history based on your orientation isn’t “straight privilege”.

Your orientation being treated as a political stance or a lifestyle choice is not “straight privilege”.

No, aroace people are not systematically oppressed for our orientation. As far as the system cares we do not exist. Not existing, as far as most of society cares, is not “straight privilege”.

The only time I have  “straight privilege” is when I don’t talk about my orientation. At all. The only time I have “straight privilege” is when I let people assume I am straight.

And frankly, having to be silent about my orientation to be respected by the straight majority, isn’t a privilege.

Kids 👏 don’t 👏 have 👏 jobs

How evil do you have to be to think that some children just deserve to be hungry?

The mental degradation of capitalists are horrifying

I needed this.

Thank you to all the people who posted this so I ended up seeing it. I really needed this right now. Thank you!

Yeah… Not gonna lie… I cried…

We need more people like this

Goddamn it stop making me feel human

The therapist I wanna be.

Text in the image:

“I’m a therapist and keep this poster in my waiting room, apparently it’s saved a few lives.”

I don’t like the phrase “a cry for help.” I just don’t like how it sounds. When somebody says to me, “I’m thinking about suicide. I have a plan: I just need a reason not to do it,” the last thing I see is helplessness.

I think your depression has been beating you up for years. It’s called you ugly, and stupid, and pathetic, and a failure, for so long that you’ve forgotten that it’s wrong. You don’t see any good in yourself, and you don’t have any hope.

But still here you are: you’ve come over to me, banged on my door and said, “HEY! Staying alive is REALLY HARD right now! Just give me something to fight with! I don’t care if it’s a stick! Give me a stick and I can stay alive!”

How is that helpless? I think that’s incredible. You’re like a marine: trapped for years behind enemy lines. Your gun has been taken away, you’re out of ammo, you’re malnourished, and you’ve probably caught some kind of jungle virus that’s making you hallucinate giant spiders.

And you’re still just going, “GIVE ME A STICK. I’M NOT DYING OUT HERE.” “A cry for help” makes it sound like I’m supposed to take pity on you, but you don’t need my pity. This isn’t pathetic. This is the will to survive. This is how humans lived long enough to become the dominant species.

With NO hope, running on NOTHING, you’re ready to cut through a hundred miles of hostile jungle with nothing but a stick, if that’s what it takes to get to safety.

All I’m doing is handing out sticks.

You’re the one saying alive.

I legit cried at this. I’ve needed to hear it put this way. Bless this post.

Every time I see this post I stop to read the whole image. It always helps — even on the good days.

Because it wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t shameful to seek help. It wasn’t pathetic to “cry for help”. I was looking for a stick, be that from myself or from someone else. I was trying to find a way out. I was trying to heal myself.

this is fuckin incredible. 

I’m sorry if I repost to many of these, but if it could be someone’s “stick” then it’s worth it

For anyone that needs to read this today. 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

They also have this one and I think quite a few others but these two I keep on my phone and pull up on my bad days.

Text in the second image:

“Why are you so lazy?”

But you’re not lazy. Lazy is when you shrug things off because you can’t summon up the give-a-damn. When you’re curled up tight on your chair, at your desk, alone and grey and desperately wishing that you had your life in order, that you did all those things that you had to do, that it didn’t feel like breaking rocks just to feed and clothe yourself and get some sleep, that’s not lazy.

People don’t understand. You tell them “It’s Hard.” They tell you, “No it isn’t. You’re just lazy.”

You start to wonder if they’re right. Is breaking those rocks easy for everyone else? Are they that much stronger than you? They don’t look like they’re struggling. “Just try harder,” they say. But you’re trying. It’s not working. Breaking boulders in your path until you’re spent isn’t lazy, and you do it day after day.

You’re not lazy. Most people don’t have those rocks to break.They don’t even know what it’s like to have to break rocks to get things done. They don’t understand how hard you have to work, and how hopeless you feel, when you try and fail to do what they do easily. Things hard harder for you, they really are. And if those people had to deal with your problems they wouldn’t be doing any better.

You’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re fighting hard. I guess I just want you to know that I know that.”

End image text

You don’t have to match a label exactly to use it. It’s OK for a label to be “close enough”.

Thank god, this is exactly what I needed

It’s time to activate it…

Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!

Am I having a fucking stroke

what the fuck is going on

Dear God

I-

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

“My body, my choice” only makes sense when someone else’s life isn’t at stake.

Fun fact: If my younger sister was in a car accident and desperately needed a blood transfusion to live, and I was the only person on Earth who could donate blood to save her, and even though donating blood is a relatively easy, safe, and quick procedure no one can force me to give blood. Yes, even to save the life of a fully grown person, it would be ILLEGAL to FORCE me to donate blood if I didn’t want to.

See, we have this concept called “bodily autonomy.” It’s this….cultural notion that a person’s control over their own body is above all important and must not be infringed upon. 

Like, we can’t even take LIFE SAVING organs from CORPSES unless the person whose corpse it is gave consent before their death. Even corpses get bodily autonomy. 

To tell people that they MUST sacrifice their bodily autonomy for 9 months against their will in an incredibly expensive, invasive, difficult process to save what YOU view as another human life (a debatable claim in the early stages of pregnancy when the VAST majority of abortions are performed) is desperately unethical. You can’t even ask people to sacrifice bodily autonomy to give up organs they aren’t using anymore after they have died. 

You’re asking people who can become pregnant to accept less bodily autonomy than we grant to dead bodies. 

reblogging for commentary 

But, assuming the mother wasn’t raped, the choice to HAVE a baby and risk sacrificing their “bodily autonomy” is a choice that the mother made. YOu don’t have to have sex with someone. Cases of rape aside, it isn’t ethical to say abortion is justified. The unborn baby has rights, too. 

First point: Bodily autonomy can be preserved, even if another life is dependent on it. See again the example about the blood donation. 

And here’s another point: When you say that “rape is the exception” you betray something FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN about your own argument.

Because a fetus produced from sexual assault is biologically NO DIFFERENT than a fetus produced from consensual sex. No difference at all.

If one is alive, so is the other. If one is a person, so is the other. If one has a soul, then so does the other. If one is a little blessing that happened for a reason and must be protected, then so is the other. 

When you say that “Rape is the exception” what you betray is this: It isn’t about a life. This isn’t about the little soul sitting inside some person’s womb, because if it was you wouldn’t care about HOW it got there, only that it is a little life that needs protecting.

When you say “rape is the exception” what you say is this: You are treating pregnancy as a punishment. You are PUNISHING people who have had CONSENSUAL SEX but don’t want to go through a pregnancy. People who DARED to have consensual sex without the goal of procreation in mind, and this is their “consequence.” 

And that is gross. 

^ THIS. This is this this THIS THIS THIS. THIS!!!!!

This is probably the strongest and well worded/supported argument for abortion that I have ever read.

WHY THE FUCK HAS TUMBLR FLAGGED THIS?! i’M FUCKING FURIOUS!!!

Yep, this was flagged for me too. Which is why I’m going to reblog it several time until Tumblr implodes.

Help Get Aromantic Trending - Feb. 16-17, 2020

Help Get Aromantic Trending - Feb. 16-17, 2020 (hosted by @fandomshateaspecs)

What

Let’s get #aromantic trending on tumblr! 

How

Make lots of posts about aromanticism on Feb 16 and 17 and reblog other posts that are being made about aromanticism.

Posts can be: informative, educational, personal experiences, memes, jokes, questions, aesthetics, art, prideful, fun, serious, a response to Feb’s Carnival of Aros, etc.

Posts can be: text, image, links, etc.

Whatever you want - just post about aromanticism!

Why

Because we deserve it!!! 

Because Feb 16 - 22 is Arospec Awareness Week (see here for some info and ideas and here for some existing creation prompts) and getting aromantic trending would help boost aro visibility.

To help encourage people to post and share aromantic content as well as include aromantic content in their pride posts.

To help teach people about aromanticism and what it means to us, as we’re still a fairly invisible and misunderstood group.

Because it can help boost the feeling of community and belonging, which aros often struggle with.

Because posting aro content can be fun!

But mostly, because we deserve it!!! 

Happy Valentines day everyone! I decided to make a comic about something I’ve wanted to talk about for a long time, which was my relationship with romance while being on the Aromantic spectrum. Sorry for the length, enjoy!

#Get Aromantic Trending - Feb. 16-17, 2020

#Aromantic

Many of you may remember that in 2019 the hashtag #asexual was trending on Tumblr. So far in April and September I have tried to get “Aromantic” trending. Unfortunately, these two efforts did not work. People didn’t have a chance to prepare or know about it. I’d really like to get #aromantic trending so here’s round 3!

There were also people concerned that there isn’t a lot of notice, but to a certain extent that’s the intent. Think of this kinda like a flash-mob. This should be aided by the fact that it’s also aromantic awareness week!

Who: Everyone! It doesn’t matter if you are aromantic, a positivity blog, LGBTQ+, or anything. All are welcome to participate!

What: This is an effort to get #aromantic trending. You can contribute by creating posts and using #aromantic as well as reblogging other posts, especially from aro people!

These post can be a wide range of things, they can be positivity, art, pride edits, informative, memes, or other various things. As long as they are relevant to aromanticism and have the #aromantic, you’re good!

*Please be sure all posts are relevant to aromanticism or the aro spectrum.

Where: Tumblr, but I’m sure posting stuff on other sites wouldn’t hurt.

When: February 16-17th, 2020 (You can start scheduling posts now though!)

Why: There’s a lot of reasons why, but one of the biggest is that quite honestly, we leave out aromantic people. They are spoken over, they do not receive the same recognition that asexual people do, I’ve seen both through my experiences and surveys that they are less likely to be included in the community. They have different stigmas attached to them.

There’s also an issue of people posting things that are said to be “aspec” but only apply to aces or things tagged as #aromantic that only apply to ace people and not aros. We need to start giving recognition to aromantic people.

In addition to this visibility is extremely important. You might assume that this hashtag trending is a worthless endeavor. But in many ways it’s not - it opens the door to learn about a term and learn about themselves. Just the other day I mentioned aromantic to someone, and after explaining it to them, they said “hey, that sounds like me.” It starts a conversation that could be eye-opening for many people.

*This is by no means all that should be done for the aro community, but positivity never hurts.

So please, join me in posting on Feb. 16-17th, and please reblog!

Realistic Pillows Sculpted from Blocks of White Marble by Håkon Anton Fagerås

Please no–

:)

Let’s go

Back when I was kind of in a cult, they would take us kids into the back before Bible class was set to start and let us watch Family Friendly Entertainment, which consisted of one show called “Will It Float?” that we went fucking APESHIT for. It was just a guy in his backyard who would throw food into his pool to see if it floated or not. I cannot for the life of me find it but when he would turn to the camera and ask if we thought whatever food he had with him would float we would lose our fucking minds screaming the answer. I was a deeply deprived child

Weird guy on TV: Do you think this bag of California raisins I found in my pantry will SINK or FLOAT, kids?

Me, age five, about to be VERY confidently wrong:

What was that about a cult now?

You’re missing the point. Do you think this watermelon will float or sink? :)

...are you gonna explain the cult part

Float! Look at that! The watermelon floated! Isn’t that crazy? Now let’s try a soup can :)

I-

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase. 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

IMPORTANT!! PLEASE READ!!

Just like with many other parts of life, learn to say ‘no’ to people. You are important. Don’t kill yourself for another person, esp. if they are your boss.

Also unionize

Started using this, it rlly works

my favorite tweet of all time is the ma’am is your baby unwell one it’s literally s o f u n n y

But....I still have so many questions

Shout out to the aros who don't fit neatly into "allosexual", or "asexual."

Shout out to non-SAM aros, who don't have a sexuality, or have a sexuality but don't care enough to pay attention to it.

Shout out to the aros who use the SAM, who experience sexuality and feel its important, but have trouble labeling what that sexuality is.

Shout out to the aros who use the SAM, but still feel like their sexuality isn't important enough to pay much attention to, and greatly prioritize their aro identity.

Shout out to the aros who are questioning their sexuality.

Shout out to the aros who have known they were aro for a long time, but still don't know if what they're feeling is aesthetic or sexual attraction.

Shout out to the aros who are greysexual and instead of identifying with the ace community, identify as being somewhere on the spectrum between allosexual and asexual.

Shout out to the aros who are greysexual, but in a way where they feel sexual attraction more often than not, and therefor feel more connected to the alloaro community dispites technically being part of the ace community.

Shout out to the aros who are technically ace, but due to their sex-favorability, feel a strong connection to the alloaro community too.

Shout out to the aros who are technically allosexual, but due to their sex-repulsion, feel a strong connection to the ace community too.

Shout out to the aros who are either technically asexual or allosexual, but don't feel a connection to said community due to their own personal reasons, possibly connected to their aromanticsm.

Shout out to the aros who still don't feel like they belong, despites the continual strengthening of the aro community.

Shout out to the aros who still feel like they have to pick a side, despites not belonging to either, or belonging to both.

Oriented (aro)ace

Oriented aroace (oa2 for short) means you don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction, but you do feel a third type of attraction that’s important to your identity. For me, that’s alterous attraction, which is defined as “attraction that’s not completely romantic or platonic.”

But that makes it hard to identify as aro. Because part of alterous attraction can be feelings of romance. But those feelings of romance aren’t really complete - they’re inseperable from the platonic aspect. But they’re still there.

So it makes me a little uncomfortable to ID as aro. If I develop strong feelings for someone, I can’t tell if I have alterous and romantic feelings for someone, or if it’s just very strong alterous feelings. (If that makes sense?)

So I use the oriented aroace label because I know that it’s what I am, deep down. But because of the nature of alterous feelings, I can’t relate to being aro, at least not completely or as much as I can relate to being ace.

Anyone else have smth similar?

Same but opposite for me. I have trouble ID-ing with ace. Like I don’t want to have sex with the person, but my body will respond to the person I find...aesthetically pleasing no matter the gender? It’s has to explain