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I'm down to fight. Fucking try me bitch.

@izzymrdb

Izzy | She/Her | 19| Ao3: IzzyMRDB | ADHD & Latina | Classics and Languages student so watch me rant about that | Yes I did write that fanfic, stop asking me to update it
softblockwashere-deactivated202

Would also be really annoying if they wore heat resistant gloves to throw back the hot tear gas canisters and if this got shared to all those protesting…

Would be a further shame if people started covering cameras (as seen in Hong Kong, with protestors using poles and rakes to lift cardboard boxes over security cameras), blinding drone optics with laser pointers, and flooding police-run reporting apps with junk data.

It would be a shame if the protesters noted that plainclothes cops can be identified a number of ways, such as wearing steel-toed boots; an armband or wristband of a particular color; driving white, black, or dark blue cars with concealed lights; or having the outline of cuffs visible in the back pocket or the bumps of an armor vest’s shoulder straps under their shirt.

It would be a shame if the protesters began making their signs out of inch-thick plywood to stop rubber bullets, forming a tight shield wall to prevent police from singling out and mobbing individual protesters. It would be a shame if the people behind the shield wall held up umbrellas so that tear gas canisters fired over the heads of the front line will be bounced away. It would be a shame if protesters began constructing improvised armor vests out of duct tape, hardback books, and ceramic tiles.

It would be a shame if protesters started wearing safety glasses, hard hats, respirators, and gardening gloves, all of which can be found at the same hardware stores as the plywood. It would be a shame if they started using traffic cones (the kind without the hole in the top) upside-down buckets, or other improvised lids to contain tear gas by placing them over the canisters.

It would be a shame if protesters learned that police scanners are legal to own in the US, allowing them to learn where police are moving and what routes they intend to take. It would be a shame if they discovered that these scanners can be used to send as well as receive, allowing them to flood the scanner frequencies with noise.

All this would be a terrible, terrible shame.

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Hey it be even more of a shame to not use plywood

But Rubbermaid instead. Shame shame definitely DONT do that

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distant-sound-of-unicorn-screams

It would be a shame if someone had to reblog this. Such a shame

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I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

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Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

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there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

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oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

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Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

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Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

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Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

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In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

This is the worst addition to this post

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

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In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

Sent this post to my brother and SIL with zero context. Regret nothing.

Many young wizards have taken to transmuting swans into humans and marrying them. One day, you are lucky enough to find a swan in the wild, and without hesitating, you turn it into a beautiful lady. Unfortunately, that ‘swan’, was a goose. You have just given a goose a human form.

After I explained the mistake, she laughed uproariously.

“You’re damn lucky I’m not a swan!” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “They get by on their reputation for being pretty and graceful, but buddy, a swan ain’t nothing but a bigger, meaner goose. What do you all want swan wives for anyway?”

I opened my mouth and then shut it again. Honestly, I hadn’t actually stopped to think about that much. It had become a mark of status, having a demure, graceful woman following on your arm, always dressed in white and gazing soulfully about.

“They all seem very nice,” I said finally.

She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she finished pulling on the robes I’d brought with me. “Then there’s something else going on,” she said. “I’ve met my share of swans and not a one of them would put up with that shit. Are you sure they were swans to begin with?”

“Well, no, now that you mention it. I mean, everyone says that’s what they are, but I’ve never actually seen anyone else do it.”

“Do they talk? Act like humans? Do they seem intelligent?”

“Well, they are humans, so I suppose they must be, right?” This conversation was not going the way I had expected it to.

“Hah! Fat chance. Transmutation is just changing the shape of a thing. You turn a swan into a human and all you’ve done is put a swan mind in a human-shaped box. Wouldn’t do a wizard much good to be able to turn into a wolf or whatever if they suddenly only had a wolf’s brain to work with, would it?”

“So, you’re saying that if those women were swans originally, they’d still act like swans?”

“Hoo boy yeah,” she said. “Absolutely. Hissing, biting people, trying to build nests, shitting everywhere. The works.”

“Wait, but what about you?” I asked, desperately trying to get the conversation back on track. “You seem like a human, but you were a goose ten minutes ago.”

She grinned wickedly at me.

“I was shaped like a goose ten minutes ago,” she said. “And I appreciate the makeover. But I wasn’t a goose to begin with. Now come on. There’s something hella creepy going on around here, and we’re gonna figure out what.”

She started walking back up the path towards town.

“Wait!” I shouted, hurrying after her, “If you weren’t a goose, then what are you? And what’s your name?”

“You can call me Gwydd,” she said. “And as for what I am, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you some day. But first, you’re going to tell me everything you know about these swan ladies.”

AU where Anakin has a crush on Obi-Wan’s assistant but instead of getting The Guy, said guy (Cody) starts dating Shmi

Mr. Steal Yo Mom

The correct revenge is for Anakin to hook up with Alpha-17 or Jango Fett.

Both options involve Anakin being a mega-twink... and Obi-Wan having a meltdown.

Anakin's face when he finds out that Cody managed to bag not just Shmi but also Qui-Gon, somehow.

(Obi-Wan continues to have a heart attack in the bathroom. Can his various family and friends please stop doing weird sex revenges. Please.)

comedies that turn into tragedies when the fucked up stuff played for jokes suddenly gets treated with the severity and realness that it would get in real life are genuinely my weakness and hit so much harder than tragedies that start off with the sad stuff.

like not only is the audience caught in the whole "boiling the frog" thing with the comedy slowly become a tragedy but it reveals that the characters are as well; that the previous comedy was only perceived as a comedy because the characters had no clue that what they were going through was not normal and just lighthearted fun. the audience realizes it as the characters do, making them both more sympathetic and their arcs all the more tragic as you look back on what previously happened.

this is called “the strider effect”

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I will always be a normal guy defender, I don't want vigilantes who always look like super models unless it makes sense for their characters (Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Kori Anders). I want super-heros that look like the guy you could stumble on the supermarket. Your classmate. Your coworker. A random face in a ocean of people. Absolutely and completely forgetful unless you love them.

I want super-heros to take of their mask and the person be like "THAT'S JUST SOME GUY." their face leak and people be like "WHO 🗣️🗣️ THE FUCK IS THAT⁉️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥" enough with conventionally attractive heros who look like bodybuilders more some heros who would be your Uber driver and you wouldn't pay attention to them twice.

op you would love jean paul valley

he’s literally just a guy

he wears baggy shirts and blue jeans. his glasses are probably always dirty because he forgets to clean them. he’s a skinny wimp. he went to college for computer science

this was his reaction after the girl he had a crush on agreed to go on a date with him (this is the same girl he literally ran away and hid from when she asked if he wanted to kiss him because he has Anxiety. like a tiny chihuahua that’s always shaking)

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I'm sorry–

Is that the same guy who made a Batmecha suit back in Knightfall and beat the shit out of Dick Grayson????????????????????

LIKE–

IS THAT THE SAME JEAN PAUL???????????????!??!??!!

YES IT IS

listen the more you learn about jean paul valley the more bewildered and obsessed you become

he’s technically part gorilla. his second solo opened with him using weird metaphors about pistachio ice cream melting in the toaster oven. he has a kitten named george. ra’s al ghul wanted him to be his heir and nearly had him marry talia until he found out jpv was part gorilla. bruce wayne has repeatedly said that if he got his shit together (paraphrasing) jpv would be better than him. alfred met him and immediately went “what if i adopted him.” his best friend is a shitty psychiatrist who’s an alcoholic and named BRIAN BRYAN. he’s canonically terrible at kissing. like. TERRIBLE. every single man in his family has been named jean paul valley. FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. it’s implied that azrael is better at gymnastics/acrobatics than dick grayson. he’s my babygirl

some of my favorite panels of him being a fucking idiot (affectionate), these were also the instances i mentioned at the end of my first reblog:

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IT JUST KEPT GOING

get you a man who can do both

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

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update:

Such a developing story.

I love this story

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dormammuivecometobargain

This was a wild ride from start to finish

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names-are-hard-thanks-hellsite

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

I found it!! The original post!!

Bruce: Robin, this is Superman

Clark: hello! it’s a pleasure to meet-

Robin!Dick: Can you throw me?

Clark: I’m sorry what?

Robin!Dick: I said can you throw me with all your strength into the sky!

Clark: No?!? Why?!? You would die!

Robin!Dick: I won’t die I’m built different!!!! Throw me!! I wanna taste the clouds and see how many flips I can do!!

Bruce: *long dad sigh*

Clark: clouds just taste like water!

Robin!Dick: Sounds like something someone might say if they wanted all the tasty clouds to themselves!

Clark: What?!?

Years Later

Dick: Uncle Clark?

Clark: No, I will not.

Dick: >:(

when you set out on the path of revenge, dig two graves. you never know when the other guy might’ve cloned himself

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i feel like ur speaking from experience

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weird coincidence, i also feel like ur speaking from experience

<|⟩:^(

stunningpicture
I don’t know shit about photography, but the person who took this shot must be given the highest award of them all.
this is breathtaking
This is now one of my top three favorite photos of all time. 

another one of my favorites

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

God the entire idea of an "attention economy" is so fucking dystopian, but that's exactly what it is and it pains me

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quora is one of the most terrifying social networks on earth which i think is why all the most powerful posters can be found there

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bless this woman Bonnie Wingate. this little piece of short nonfiction brings tears to my eyes every time i stop to read it through

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

The knife itself isn’t necessarily butch. It’s named that because it’s wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

Hmm, I see.

What, then, makes the butcher more butch than other food shop owners?

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dragongirlbites

the knife

That’s what ancient Greek philosophy is like

I love it when Obi-Wan’s role in the star war is Guy Who Stuff Just Happens To. He’s not instigating anything but everyone else is and he has to put up with it. He’s having a great time being a side character in TPM and then Qui-Gon goes off and dies and now he has to train the Chosen One. He’s just doing his job in AOTC and then accidentally finds one million Jango Fetts and now there’s a war. Stuff just Happens to him and I think that’s great.