Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That’s good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
YAAYYY
YAAYYY AGAIN
YAAYYY AAAAHHHH IM CRAZY
I cannot emphasize enough how much of a life hack it is to exclusively be friends with, date and marry people who are not constantly mean assholes to you.
This may seem like basic common sense, but one interesting (and kind of terrifying) thing I recently read was that some individuals who grew up in an emotionally abusive environment find that their anxiety level actually decreases in the presence of those who are mean or overly critical of them because it's familiar. Their nervous systems are hard wired to react to that kind of treatment as "normal" in the sense that it knows what to do with it--what defense mechanisms to employ when, etc.
Meanwhile, kinder, more peaceful, and healthier relationships are quite a dramatic adjustment, and ironically feel less predictable because of all the threats that are absent and never materialize. It feels suspicious or too good to be true, which in turn ratchets up hypervigilance and hyper-arousal. Instead of knowing what BS is coming because it always does, there's the nebulous sense that the other shoe is just waiting to drop. Safety and respect can feel the most unsafe for a while, because as far as the traumatized nervous system is concerned, those things don't exist, or if they do in any form, there must be a million unseen strings attached.
This is part of what traps a lot of people in abusive relationships, consistently draws them to want to please assholes, or keeps them moving from one unhealthy environment to the next--a highly toxic comfort of familiarity where being on the receiving end of cruelty feels like "home".
The more I learn, the more infuriated I am about my past.
It is morally correct to be horny on main.
If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.
New copypasta just dropped
Same guy
This tweet has changed my life btw
Here’s a guide of what I’ve determined the meanings to be
walking around - self explanatory
fellowship - hanging out with friends
deliciousness - having something tasty
transcendence - feeling that you have reached a different level of some sort; alternatively, when you do one of the other delights to the extreme and feel really good about it. (you know transcendence when it happens)
goofing - having a good laugh at smth
amelioration - working towards the betterment of something, for example, working on a skill you hope to improve
coitus - fuckin’
enthralment - becoming incredibly engaged in something, hyper focusing on something
wildcard - anything that you feel was a delight in your day that does not fit one of the above delights
Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That’s good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
YAAYYY
YAAYYY AGAIN
this man won an oscar for screenwriting and it shows
I imagine this is how Joss Whedon sounds when he writes
Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That’s good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
YAAYYY
Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That’s good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
It’s almost that time again!
Just 20 more minutes until July 13
Repost to spread. (Not really humor)
OKAY SIT DOWN SHUT UP, WE’RE GONNA TALK COLORS
THIS IS SAPPHIRE
THIS IS TEAL
THIS IS PERIWINKLE
THIS IS AZURE
AND THIS IS TURQUOISE
WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT
OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?
WHEN DESCRIBING A CHARACTER’S GOD FORSAKEN EYE COLOR, PICK ONE YA GODDAMN HIPPIE
As someone who is colourblind this post is fucking hilarious because they are in fact all the same fucking colour
things heating up in the fuckin uuhhhhhhhhh BLUE fandom
So uh….. fun fact about turquoise
They come in varying degrees of blue and green.
THIS IS TUMBLR
me when i get my student loan
this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth
#this is the only money cat i will reblog because it’s actually doing the manekineko pose151,646 notes (via lolwhutninja)
OMG YOU’RE RIGHT
and it has its right paw up! the correct paw for this. and from the markings on its ears, it looks like it might be a calico cat. which is the luckiest kind!
extremely lucky cat
I don’t even care if it actually works, I’m mostly reblogging because it’s freaking adorable.
cute cat and need money, good post, 10/10
in case anyones interested in the other versions
Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That’s good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
☝🏾😂
Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys
2 million people aren’t wrong
I’ll happily jump on this train.
Amir: (Off screen) Ooooooh my, my, my stomach. (Lying on floor) Milk Man please! A tall glass of your least expired milk!
Milk Man: Absolutely, I have July 13th.
Jake: Pretty expired.
Amir: That's good.
Milk Man: 1991.
Amir: Mmm, even better.
