🥺 I wish every cow a very back scratched

Franz Kafka’s Diaries, 1 July 1914

Some Nights

THE CONFRONTATION

BUB

oh my god

Wow everyone is going through it. Hold my hand

reblog to hold the hand of the person you reblogged from

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

This but it's my partner taking an art history class in college and the professor looking at them like they grew a second head when they answered "What came out of Jesus' wound when he was stabbed on the cross" with "...Blood?"

Additions that prove my point by mystifying me because what on earth would come out of a nail wound besides blood. Are you telling me it was something besides blood. What was jesus full of that wasn't blood. You guys are scaring me

Apparently it was water?? I guess he was also stabbed on top of being crucified (which feels like overkill imo) and water came out, which was a huge deal in medieval symbolism and also to my medieval poetry professor, who was genuinely shocked and upset that I didn’t know. This man fully docked me points because I, a whole ass Jew, hadn’t somehow heard about the secret waterballoon Jesus lore that I guess everyone is supposed to like… intuit

On the plus side, it does lead to some absolutely wild medieval Jesus art of angels tapping him like a fucking keg

OH I HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THAT ONE!

Raised non-denominational Christian, not Catholic, BUT the base Martial is close enough that I know this one.

Okay so the way I was told it (and anyone with a medical background, especially post mortem, please weigh in on this because I don't know if it's actually true) is that crucification is a very long, drawn out way to go. You basically asohyxiate over a looong period of time due to being unable to pull in a full breath under your own body weight. Awful way to go. But this means that the nails and shit? Not necessarily lethal in their own right outside of infection. That means a pain being executed this way can pass out before they've actually shuffled off the mortal coil, Roman soldiers take them down and throw them.... Where ever they the dead people, criminal who can now finally breathe recovers consciousness and books it.

To prevent this, the soldiers would, after a certain amount of time, go around and poke their executed to make damn sure they were dead dead for realsies. If you're freshly but not TOO freshly dead, your blood platelets will begin to clump together and separate out of the plasma. The "water and blood" is a way of saying look, he was VERY dead when they took him down. You know how dead he was from this evidence of the fact that his biological processes were already breaking down. This is PROOF that the reserection was a 100% genuine Miracle of God, and can not be explained away by the Romans making a mistake here and there.

The Supreme Court has given up their legitimacy in exchange for billionaire fishing trips and their authority should be treated accordingly. AOC

Happy Midsummer!

i learned that the world record for the loudest thing ever shouted belongs to an Irish female teacher who shouted the word “quiet” at 121 decibels, the equivalent of a jet engine (x)

DISGUSTANG

oh my god?

Okay please read this whole article because there is important information in ther, including;

1. She never yells at her students- her record breaking 121 decibel shout happened during an event she’d been invited to. She was defending her title after setting the previous shouting record during a competition at a church camp, where she got to 119.4 decibels 

2. The only reason she entered the first competition was because her twin sister had entered and was about to win with a shout of 119.1 decibels. 

3. They took her to an expert to try to understand how she shouted so very loud and his conclusion was that her supernatural volume was fueled entirely by her need to beat her sister. 

That’s just how siblings are.

It really is

Mr president we have reason to suspect their is a masquito in the oval office

Reading guide

Behind the scenes

This post was inspired by the Mosquito Bite that appeared at or around 1:30 AM on my right elbow. As of 1:39 AM, the culprit remains at large. Some say a faint buzzing can still be heard

Things that ARE covered by your Wizard Insurance:

Oh for Gandalf's Big Naturals- Fine! 😡