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Spacebandit✌🏻

@iwanttoexplorespace

19| bi | she/her | things i find funny and memes

These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:

1.

“Okay, and who’s the president?”

“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”

“It’s okay, you know who he is.”

2.

“Who’s the president?”

“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….

“Yup, good enough.”

3.

“And who’s the president,”

“Not fuckin’ Obama!”

“I feel ya.”

4.

“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“

“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

5. (My personal favorite)

“Who’s the president?”

“Ew.”

“Good enough.”

My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.

lol me too , lady

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One time I got “that orange fuck” from a very cute little old lady with urosepsis

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I have - quite unintentionally - contributed to this phenomenon.

I was waking up from surgery in the post-op observation room, where they kept people before sending them off to the ICU. The nurse was talking to me as I was semi-awake, telling me that as soon as it was ready, I would be sent to room 2008.

I did not hear the word “room”.

I started trying to sit up and get out of bed (entirely unsuccessfully), shouting (mumbling forcefully), “He’s not president yet! I have to warn everyone!”

That’s awesome. Thank you for trying to warn us

i’ve been looking for this post for ages and it finally crossed my dash again

(( *smiles* the post is back))

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Paramedics had to stop asking “who’s the prime minister?” in Australia because it changed so often that not knowing the answer wasn’t really all that indicative of anything.

One paramedic reported receiving the answer “I haven’t watched the news today”.

Meanwhile in Germany, the joke goes that a teenager is waking up in a hospital bed, the nurse asks them who the chancellor is and they say, “hang on are you telling me that can change?”

I love it when the little kids I’m teaching online have complete and total misconceptions of what’s going on. So far, I’ve encountered the following:

1. I had been teaching a little girl for several months, when one day she said to me: “My mother says you’re a real person, not an app. If you’re a real person, show me your husband.”

2. I was about to end a class, but the little girl I was teaching didn’t want the class to end. She turned to her mom and asked if she could please watch one more episode. Turns out she was under the impression that I was a very interactive TV program.

3. I couldn’t find my marker in class today. The boy I was teaching was like, “What’s your apartment number? I’ll come up and help you find it!” The boy lives in China and I live in the United States. I guess most people he knows live in the same building as him, so he assumed I did too.

4. I had been teaching a kid for quite some time when I mentioned my age in class. She was like, “Wait, you’re an adult????” She’d thought I was twelve.

This is so adorable and hilarious

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

and so it begins..

i was not fucking ready for this photograph

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Imagine that today you are in a place between Canada and Russia, and suddenly, for 30 seconds, the moon in its maximum splendor appears and disappears before you. In addition, for 5 seconds, it gives rise to a total solar eclipse. Something unheard of, right.

In perigee, the proximity to the Moon shows the great speed at which we move without feeling it.

It is recorded in real time.

The moon seen from the Arctic, North Pole, between Russia and Canada, only lasts a few seconds, but it is worth it, it is a beautiful sight, it seems that it collides with the earth, but no.

What. The fuck.

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there she go

Girl’s got places to be.

I just screamed “There’s the fucking moon, goddamn” in response and I heard my roommate snort from another room

Every time I see that post that’s something like “weird, but technically not a sin,” I think about being seven or eight years old and bawling to the priest that I had scaled the walls of the pantry in my home like a spider monkey in order to eat all of the cookies that my parents had naïvely hidden on the top shelf to keep me from getting into them and wailing that I was a hopeless criminal and hearing just dead silence on the other side of the little wall.