So, as you can tell from the title of this post, I just got ‘terminated’ from my first Big Girl job. If you’re familiar with my account, then you’re probably aware of all my other failures 😅 but, no worries, I’m on top of things.
Usually, I’d expect myself (maybe everyone expects themselves) to be more sad, have my depression flare up, get an anxiety attack, start crying or something, but unfortunately, this has happened to me before. I’ve been fired before, I was like…18, didn’t really care after a minute, obviously my first-first time being fired, I was all over the place; but I’m 21 now and this is was my first job since being fired from my first-first job. So yea, I’m a little upset, but accustomed as well.
It’s only my first day being unemployed since 2019–before the pandemic—so I’ll have to readjust to a few things being:
- Being unemployed at 21 instead of 18
- Being unemployed during a pandemic
- Being unemployed and dealing with increasing mental health issues
- Being unemployed in 2022
Like…it’s not gonna be horribly different? I have some pro’s too, which was the point of this post, rather, because I’m surprisingly optimistic here. It’s weighed down by sadness, but it’s there!
Pro’s to being fired:
- I can take the quality time I need to figure out, understand and get help with my mental health. Maybe try a new medicine before I start working again?
- I can finally have time to go to all my doctor appointments and catch up on my physical health.
- I will have more time to practice driving so I can get my license and legally drive my car.
- I can learn more about budgeting and credit (and I won’t kick myself for not saving like I should’ve been this whole time).
- I can focus inwards again, not everything is about others anymore. I can be taken care of now.
- I can properly take time to look for jobs that are within my qualifications, not necessarily just to be employed again, I can take time now.
- I can rest. And get back to me.
For most people, you get a job and your whole life is just “job, work, paid, bills, eat, sleep, job, repeat”, and hey, I just entered adulthood, I’ll be damned if I don’t make it comfortable after begging the Universe to “grow up”. I’m an adult, I’m new here, but I don’t like how things are ran, so I’m changing it for me. I have great advantages actually, ya know, this might actually be a blessing, let’s compare:
2019 Being Fired:
- I got fired right before the pandemic began, I take it as a sign now that that was God getting me out of the industry (where I worked with the public HEAVILY) as a blessing to keep me safe, a lot of people died from this, ya know?
- I was 18, still in college—of which I unfortunately flunked out of—and I appreciate it now because it drove me to this path I’m on right now (even though we are making a pit-stop).
- My intuition told me to quit before I got fired and I didn’t quite listen 😅
- I had nothing in my savings, I was broke.
2022 Being Fired:
- There’s a whole new disease and different variants of the first disease that occurred right before I got fired the first time, and this time, this job was in healthcare! Healthcare= more susceptible, this may be like last time!
- I’m 21, graduated from an accredited program which granted me such access, exposure and knowledge to the healthcare field.
- My intuition actually told me NOT to apply to this job period, and I still didn’t listen 😅but! I caught on to quitting, I just unfortunately was on a contract that forbade such action, but look at us now 🥲
- I have something in my savings, but not as much as I would have if I had saved properly from the beginning 😅
- I’ve adapted to this feeling by now and I’m not super sad, strung and hung out like I was the first time.
- I have hella new skills than I did before so my next job will be a little easier (hopefully).
- I have faith in the future. But the present needs my attention, obviously!
So yea…
Do I have regrets? Honestly, no. Not work related. The only regrets I have are ones concerning my savings and spending habits. I should’ve been on my save game a lot harder than before, but at least I have something, and I’m still getting a paycheck after this, so we can hopefully shake something up, ya know?
I don’t have any regrets about my decision to work there, or anything like that. Yea, whatever I got fired for (I know what it is, I just won’t say right now), I should’ve played it smarter; but after having discussed things with my former manager, I was confirmed right then and there that that company isn’t considerate of their employees, truly; and especially not personally. That’s not a company I wanna work for again if I had the option to! So it all works out.
My mom told me that there’s a blessing in here somewhere, but I already have one gray hair at 21 years old, likely from this job, so I won’t stress trying to find the blessing when it may be right in front of my face😁
So, what do we do now?
Ahh, man you know me: always finding something new to get into. I’m not sure how long I will be unemployed, I don’t have rent, excessive bills or anything like that to worry about right now, but I still have responsibilities that need taken care of. I don’t wanna time my healing, so I’ll organize in phases:
- Phase 1) Me Time: I’m gonna take some time to get my health in order, all types of orders, and I’m gonna take care of other things, like getting my drivers license, packing some boxes, changing out things, planning my savings, getting my finances as right as possible, taking care of my body, etc.
- Phase 2) Skill Searching: Definitely would be more productive after having my drivers license, but I’m gonna look into other opportunities outside of my previous field. I really want to become a super gorgeous, hot, famous, sexy model, actress, entrepreneur glamour-girl. So, I have the time to make all that happen! One way or another, to one degree or another. Also, I could take this time to go back to school of some sort and get a higher education (both are realistic).
- Phase 3) Preparing for work: Depending on the future, maybe working for other people will be in mind again, but in this phase, I’ll come down to it. Prepare my finances again, can I afford what I need to work efficiently? What do I need? What do I have? What can I brush up on? What am I willing to do? Is this what I want to do? All these questions, I will ask myself when the time comes and we will start deciding. Just so that I’m not in this position again. This includes looking for job openings and preparing for interviews.
- Phase 4) Adapting to the Shift: For all you astrology nerds, we just had a full moon in Aquarius and boy, oh boy, did it shake the table. I’m an Aquarius rising so of course I would get fired and have my whole life right now altered 🙃here’s how we work with that: adapting to the shift. Whether I get another job in the same field or my modeling career takes off, it’s still gonna be a routine that will need my attention. So, I have to do the last minute things in order to get in formation.
- Phase 5) Working: This may be a really fast or really slow process going in, but unfortunately, it’s for the sake of money. Whichever way things go for me, I will come into it better, well prepared, open, smarter, and just a better person overall. I’m excited for that.
In the meantime…
I think I’ll just chill. Grieve this new job, this new experience, cry a little if I gotta, say a prayer, get back on my G Sh*t and finally, finally, finally…take a sigh of relief.
