finger-licking good

and its ontological opposite:

toe-sucking evil

Colonel Sanders and Quinton Tarantino locked in mortal combat

I made a fake disability ID card does that make me a bad person

“We were in Europe a couple years ago and we went to this museum and I went up to the ticket taker and I was like, ‘Hey, I read on your website that you let people with disabilities come to the museum for free?’ And she was like, ‘Yes, but I’m gonna need to see some ID proving that you have a disability.’ And I was like, ‘What do… I mean, I have one leg.’ And she’s like, ‘Yeah yeah, but do you have disability ID proving..?’ I was like, ‘I don’t - I mean, do you think this is an optical illusion?  Or like an elaborate costume I’ve created to get into your museum for free?’ She’s like, ‘Alright, I’ll let it slide just this once, but next time, make sure you have the ID.’

“Now it turns out that in Europe they do have these disability ID cards. We don’t have anything quite like it in the United States, but we went back to Europe the next year and we wanted to go to that museum again, so before we did, I printed off this, like, fake disability card. [Laughing] It’s just an American flag and a disability symbol. We went back to that museum, I showed them the card, they’re like, ‘Oh great. Yeah, go on in, for free, to our museum.’“

Bless the hearts of every single european in the notes going, “but if americans don’t have disabled IDs, how do people with invisible disabilities get free museum passes / free trains / other nice service?”

Disabled people in america get slightly better parking and that’s it. And you get that with a doctor’s approval.

found out today that the “no don’t [action] your so sexy aha” meme is, in fact, NOT well known outside of internet circles and you should not just Say That to an unsuspecting coworker

good to know. you took one for the team

SAME GENDER MARRIAGE PLANE FLIES IN TOTK

SKILL ISSUE

holy shit i just learned about the “proxy strike” tactic in france in which radicals blockade or occupy a workplace, allowing workers to strike without losing their wages. that’s brilliant, wow

How does that work, exactly?

if you and your coworkers say “we’re striking” and occupy your workplace, your boss won’t pay you, but if your friends and your coworkers’ friends occupy it for you, you say “sorry boss shit’s occupied” and you still get paid because you’re not the ones striking

the 5,528 people who have reblogged this post as of right now could probably paralyze a decent chunk of a city’s economy using this tactic lmao

When I was a teen, I went to a Christian youth group for a while. I was obsessed with musicals, particularly Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats. One day, one of the youth group leaders told me that it seemed I loved Cats the musical more than god, and urged me to give it up. Anyway, I decided after our conversation that I really did love musicals more than god, and I never went to church again. So that’s the story of how Cats made me forsake Jesus and turned me into an atheist.

We found it, folks. The one good thing Andrew Lloyd Webber did.

This is my new favourite headline I've seen all year lmaooo

become ungovernable

“I took courage, used my deadname and signed up for Miss Italy. Because fighting transphobia is intersectional and even though I’m not a trans woman, I’ve decided to fight for their rights.”

ok this is 1. funny, 2. courageous, 3. how solidarity works, and 4. based

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

The tolerance paradox is solved if you consider the social contract fascists break

kill nazis

Kill nazis

Kill Nazis

Kill Nazis

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

Fuck it I'm gonna make the infamous inneskeeper grilled cheese, I'm suspicious of the honey part working but fuck it let's see what happens

i want this sandwich to impregnate me

This looks good but I need some exact instructions before I can make this

-Honey: do I slather it on the inside of the sandwich, the outside of the sandwich, or heck do I just mix it with the butter and herbs and stuff?

-Which *species* of cheeses do you recommend the most?

-Which herb or herb combination do you most recommend?

-Does the garlic have to be hand-crushed or does pre-minced or garlic powder work just as well?

-Honey: I intended it to be inside, but apparently enough folks have raved about the caramelized crust that forms if you do it on the outside that it might be worth trying. If you do go with outside, keep a very very close eye on the heat and keep it low for as long as you can to prevent it from burning.

-For beginner+easy to find cheese species, I'd recommend a sharp cheddar, a swiss, and a havarti.

-I like sage, rosemary, and turmeric. But turmeric alone is incredible.

-It doesn't have to be hand crushed, but if you use minced garlic the same procedures with outside-honey apply. You need to be REALLY careful to prevent the garlic from burning, and minced garlic burns MUCH faster then just full garlic cloves. If hand-crushing or peeling garlic is an issue, you can just chop the garlic cloves in the paper once or twice and get similar results. You just need to get juices flowing for the butter to soak up their flavor.

ok i just spent more than usual on my groceries so this better be worth it

@dont-mez-with-the-fez

“Perhaps you have forgotten. That’s one of the great problems of our modern world, you know. Forgetting. The victim never forgets. Ask an Irishman what the English did to him in 1920 and he’ll tell you the day of the month and the time and the name of every man they killed. Ask an Iranian what the English did to him in 1953 and he’ll tell you. His child will tell you. His grandchild will tell you. And when he has one, his great-grandchild will tell you too. But ask an Englishman—” He flung up his hands in mock ignorance. “If he ever knew, he has forgotten. ‘Move on!’ you tell us. ‘Move on! Forget what we’ve done to you. Tomorrow’s another day!’ But it isn’t, Mr. Brue.” He still had Brue’s hand. “Tomorrow was created yesterday, you see. That is the point I was making to you. And by the day before yesterday, too. To ignore history is to ignore the wolf at the door.”

- A Most Wanted Man, John le Carré

John le Carré has not, at any point, been fucking around.

David Slack warning against AMPTP trying to turn the unions against each other, and stating the facts.

I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.

Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"

and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

reblog my post boy

Let me tell you, there's a queer club night in the UK called Gal Pals that caters exclusively to queer women and NBs and only plays music by women and when It's Raining Men came on last time you'd have thought the crowd was full of middle aged housewives. A banger is a banger is a banger, you just gotta let the music go innit

starting a collection

Useful information

im having a moment

you just never really know

lot going on in here