nothing fills you with greater false confidence than managing to wake up early once
"this sleep schedule shit is easy" (← about to learn a lesson straight out of a fucked up traditional fairytale punishment)
an 18-wheeler died on the side of the highway the other day. a pack of scavenging motorcycles was eating its carcass. one of them growled at me
i don’t see why a “hung jury” would be a bad thing? we love big dicks
actually the fact tumblr glitches and treats you like a new user when youre not is really funny. could you imagine taking a bite out of a fucking big mac or whatever and a whole crowd of people jump out and start cheering and congratulating you on learning how to eat
people from the us trying to think up analogy: "this is just like if mcdonald hamburger"
never disrespect my mcdonald hamburger ever again do you know how many rock and roll disk i had to sacrifice to get this thing
"connect your contacts so you can find people you know in our app" what if i flayed myself in front of you
Sniffing glue = gets you high
Glue = made of horses
Sniffing horses = I think we need to do some research!
This is how medicine worked until like 1500
every so often i remember this poem by langston hughes & am inconsolable
According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.
sheds a single tear
every august 18th my notifications break and i go, fuck, tumblr has failed me once again, but it hasn’t. it hasn’t failed me. it’s just the taking the hobbits to isengard-iversary. happy 12 years
blows up a random stranger with a rocket launcher for no reason then falls to the ground weeping histrionically & receives the tender attention & support of everyone present
her storytelling skills are killing me
bungus
welcome to ‘no note bungus’. reblog and you will feel a sense of accomplishment and goodwill wash over you
