things i am looking forward to in the Suicide Squad movie

Because there just isn’t any sort of precedent for this kind of shit.

Technically, you can go the rest of your life without eating

Really?

Yeah. You’d starve to death, but it technically was the rest of your life

One of my pumpkins this year :)

my kinda boyfriend person took me to build a bear today for my birthday and he chose a sound to put in it and like he wouldn’t let me know what sound it was and he said I couldn’t listen until we got in the car so I was kinda worried bc I thought it was going to be super vulgar or sappy and gross or whatever but we leave build a bear and I press my bear’s hand and it just makes this super loud velociraptor sound.

Keep him

customer service

5 things you JUST DON'T DO to people with glasses

1) “wow you look so much better with your glasses off!” just. please don’t. 2) take their glasses off their face and refuse to give them back. it isn’t quirky or funny, it’s really, really annoying. 3) “oh you got new glasses? i don’t like them.” you obviously have no idea a: how much those cost (hint: a lot, unless they were free w/ insurance) or b: how long whoever you’re dissing probably spent picking those out. 4) “how many fingers am i holding up???!?” i will break in to wherever you are and flip you off. 5) poke the lenses of their glasses. does this REALLY need an explanation?

when your enemy revives itself

when your enemy is almost dead but kills you anyways

when your enemy has another form

It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…

its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…

it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.

It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race

It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”

Maybe it’s Maybelline 

It’s not you, it’s me

I can’t beleive it’s not butter

it’s a-me, mario!

there are five frogs staring at me right now

but only one can be america’s next top model

sstonerswithboners:

I was veeeeery skeptical about this claim. But it turns out to be true, and it’s called stress cardiomyopathy, or broken heart syndrome. From what I can tell, though, the heart tendons generally don’t break and the condition is very treatable. Most people make a full recovery fairly quickly.  

if you’re ever sad look at this

or this

instead of being mad at someone watch stitch cuddle with a pillow

shhhh don’t cry look at stitch !!!

NO SADNESS !!! NO NO !! STITCH !!

stitch doesn’t want u to be sad !!

pls don’t be sad

PLS 

stitch loves you stay safe 

swimming pools are so weird man we dig holes in the ground and fill them with liquid we cant breathe in and then spend an hour or so at a time trying not to drown in it

this is my most reblogged post this isn’t how I want to be remembered

You can actually see the facial differences if you look closely

you really can

Why is Ed so fucking unproblematic?!

Baby Octopus!

iconic

Here’s to the slutty bisexuals

The prudish aces

The lesbians with short hair

The flamboyant gay men

Just because you fit a sterotype, it doesn’t mean you are less important

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

I may be a slutty bisexual but I’m not a slut BECAUSE I’m bisexual