Nah.

I’m not a piece of meat

dora wouldn't say this

people make a lot of touch-starved gay jokes about Lush but the truth is it’s not a gay experience, it’s a human experience. no one is safe, no one is immune.

you walk in there for the first time thinkin’ I’m gonna buy some hand soap today and then some dude who smells like something impossible, like he’s being described by a YA author, he smells like lavender, leather, and the steam coming from hot pavement after a short summer rain,

That guy. He comes up to you and he asks if he can help you sample something. He leads you to a small, metal basin of water. It’s so pastoral, it’s so quaint. You can imagine it sitting beside your bed with a porcelain pitcher in your farm cottage for you to use to wash your face in the morning.

He rolls up your sleeve a bit, and you awkwardly apologize for not doing it yourself, and he says it’s fine.

Sir LeatherRain gently rinses your hand in the warm water, and then he dries it off attentively. Then he massages some of the product into your palm. It’s the cinnamon bean massage bar. He says “don’t you love how it feels warm as you rub it in?”

He’s making more direct eye contact with you than you’ve ever made in your entire life.

As he finishes, a woman who smells like coffee beans and pink-skied winter sunrises approaches and says “oh I LOVE that product.”

You know it’s about the sell. It’s transactional, but you’re in love. You can’t help it.

You’re also More uncomfortable than you’ve ever been in your entire life.

As you walk away to the register, you clench your hand and unclench it like Mr. Darcy when he touches Elizabeth Bennet’s hand to help her out of a coach.

As someone who’s worked at Lush I assure you it’s just as weirdly intimate to be the one rubbing lotions into other people’s skin

oh thank god

Lush has some bizarro magic going on i once wore a hat i’d knitted into a lush shop and one of the staff members casually complimented it and i went home and i got half way through knitting them one to take into the shop as a gift before i realised how fucking whacked out a thing that would be to do like i was ensorcelled there was spell work upon me

obsessed with this

You shouldn’t have scorned him, Santa. My website – My Instagram - My store

I love this too much

it’s really august huh… like 8 whole months have passed……….. disgusting

this post was written in 2018 but it hits a lot harder now

Anemone runs from starfish

Anemone song is NOT shitty, delete this 😡😡😡

It's a good song

its one line repeated over and over

amazing

It’s literally not one line repeated over and over lmao educate yourself

https://youtu.be/93wE-2E0b4Q

you know this one: https://youtu.be/YMcGLQ-RZ44

Nothing but bangers

“It’s not about the bed, it’s about being next to you.”

I’m gonna cry

Parents be like that’s my emotional support eldest daughter

Alright

gordon ramsey: is the food good here?

underpaid server: 

God bless the poor servers in that circle of hell.

A water bottle at 14,000 feet, 9,000 feet, and 1,000 feet being crushed due to increasing atmospheric pressure. (Source)

my colon after I consume lactose

Someone should redraw this in the classic TT style!

I think someone whispered my name… without actually whispering my name.

Again, I don’t really think I was asked specifically, but hey, here ya go! ;D

My style = Original Style

The classic Teen Titans style, eh? I’m no George Perez, but…

This is the best post now

😂😂😂😂

L M A O

life received

where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car

Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

AHAGSHKSGSKSLK THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT?????????

This is really funny oml

The thrilling conclusion

Guys this literally happened today (6.17.19)

Like. Today.

What????

The whole world is Sh👀k

Haven’t seen this in a while I’m glad it’s back

LGBTs black people who survive in anti-LGBTS countries. Photo by Robin Hammond for project Where Love Illegal. Check out each of their stories in @whereloveisillegal.

It is important to note that these black folks are from countries that were colonized by Europeans.