【ｐｓｓｓｓｔ】

ʜᴇʏ ᴋɪᴅ

you like 

𝓽𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽?

you wanna reread 

𝓽𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽?

[opens trench coat] 

you wanna

reread 𝓽𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 without bankrolling the mormon church?

we stan a good p2p

as a child i wanted nothing more than to be a vampire in twilight, but i knew i couldn’t because it would be considered an immortal child. now though, i am of vampire age. 😎 so mr. carlisle if you’re interested i am free on monday, tuesday, and thursday morn-

bella googling “cold one” and finding beer ads moodboard

literally have been obsessed with this the past half year

Ok so we’ve all discussed at length how it would have been more spicy if Edward tried to eat Bella on her bday instead of Jazz. BUT WHAT IF instead of going to Italy to kill himself, he goes on his human drinking blood bender immediately after that instead of back in the 20s. The drama. The excitement. The potential for redemption that’s not just “wah I’m a monster” when he’s not. GIVE US A REAL MONSTER!

bella in new moon

I’m so relieved to find out this is still as funny today as it was at 3am immediately before I passed out

kellan is one of us

he was sitting so calmly, listening to ashley talk like a good boy™, then those magical words were spoken and he scared the hell out of the two girls–he truly is one of us

imagine being a newborn vamp your throat is burning your entire body has been altered into something you can’t understand and then some jim bob duggar ass christian vampire offers you a deer that smells like wet dog i’d fucking kill him

I’m

⚪️ living in the moment

⚪️ stuck on the past

⚪️ paranoid about the future

🔘 longing for a gorgeous immortal being with a horrifying backstory to turn me into his eternal partner so I can abandon all responsibilities and live away from society as we know it

carlisle didnt name his wife’s present “isle esme” bc its an island. he did it bc it was cute lil combo of their names carlisle and esme but he lets everyone (but his boo) believe otherwise

noah fence but the most devastating and visceral sound in the world is bella’s anguished scream over the lyrics “tell me when you hear my heart stop” just as the music swells during the possibility sequence in new moon it’s all just a little too much

I love this so much

when Bella throws Jacob the pizza slice in new moon but the scene switches and he catches a wrench instead while ‘shooting the moon’ plays and he catches the wrench on beat

You just know that Edward had to talk Emmett out of replacing all the beds with coffins and to not wear a cloak when Bella came to visit for the first time

edward: i…. told them not to do this

emmett:

So do any of the Cullens have like. Jobs. Or do they all just get an allowance from sugar daddy Carlisle Cullen

new moon except when edward leaves the movie turns black and white…

…until bella slams into edward in volterra

now THAT would be some good cinematography

YES i’m gay. YES i have a vampire fetish. NO i don’t know my times tables. we exist.

Who needs times tables when you’re getting railed by a vampire

finally someone who GETS it

me walking into the theaters to see the new batman movie while wearing a team edward shirt just to piss off men