Huh

Incels accuse women of being shallow and then refuse to date anywhere close to within their league. Like no, of course the millionaire supermodel does not want you. You might have had a chance with the sweet girl who works as a cashier at the 7/11 if you didn’t call her a ‘butterface’ and a ‘roastie’ but your personality is so repulsive that you ruined that as well.

Well well well, Mr. Tough Guy, suddenly afraid of pulling a William Henry Harrison, are we?

They say words can hurt you worse than any weapon.

- Sweet prison, Neva Altaj

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????

"the world isnt kind" skill issue. I am

It’s interesting how many cis dudes do not want children but are against vasectomies because they consider them to be emasculating. No medical reason just that they think it would make them less of a man. Manhood is stored not in the balls, not in the brain, not in the soul but in the vas deferens only. Apparently. According to them.

props to Jimmy Carter for hanging on long enough to vote for Kamala and have one more Christmas and then returning to his maker before he has to see another Trump presidency. a little jealous of his timing.

*eating glass* mmmm law school

"I should apply to law school so I can figure out how they're responsible for the injuries sustained from eating glass and sue them"

being a pet is crazy bc they'll just be like you misbehaved So we're castrating u

some people yearn for the imperial palace

yknow kinda something special about the fact that i got a cut on my left hand ring finger while working on someone’s christmas present. that’s gonna leave a scar. every time i look at my ringfinger i’ll be reminded of it. the “wedding band” finger… kinda more intimate than marriage…

but also OUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHHIIIIEEEEE

cut myself on the same finger while trying to cut a bagel…. idk how to romanticize this one guys

you have to fuck the bagel now

i have to fuck the bagel.

men in greek mythology? scoundrels. just terrible. woeful social skills. murderers. kidnappers. violent misogynists. most of them… never described as handsome so we have to assume they were ugly. 

narcissus? unproblematic. beacon of transformative self love. king of the swerve. gay icon. couldn’t recognize his reflection but neither can my dog, we aren’t holding that against him.

Narcissus wrote this

I refuse to believe Narcissus could read.

i’ve been thinking about this response for the better part of 2 hours and it hasn’t gotten less hysterically funny to me

me: oh man im starving but im not sure what i should make for dinner……

the spirit of a 12th century templar knight that died a horrific death due to torture that started haunting me after i found a sword in the middle of the woods: spaghetti once more, prithee?

me: henry you are brilliant. spaghetti it is

can’t believe tiktok is actually getting banned, twitter is infested with bots and brainworm-infested musk bots, facebook is king of QAnon, instagram caught the plague from facebook and is dying a slow death in real time… and as the dust settles… only Miss Tumblr is left standing… failing upwards once again

where's that speed skating gif

“Humans are inherently selfish--" Then why do so many cultures value hospitality, to the point of dictating it in their religions? Why is it so common for hosts to offer their visitors their best food, and as much of it as they can? At some point, multiple cultures decided that they knew what it felt like to be alone and vulnerable, and promised each other to never let those who stay with them feel that way. That doesn't sound very "inherently selfish" to me.

A bit of a pallet cleanser for everyone.

Most of the dogs: you have bestowed affection, I will cuddle you

The pit bull: KISSU????? KISSU FOR ME????? I KISS U!!!!! I GIVE KISSES!!!!!