I’m sorry but this is just... everything.

It’s okay.

Your back with her and that’s okay.

I was just an escape and that’s okay.

You don’t want/need me and that is okay.

I just wish you were honest about it.

Definitely getting too old for this and have made too many mistakes here.

I hope you get what ever your after.

Look after yourself beautiful x

Why is it such a struggle for me when you're okay? Couldn't be more lost without you. Putting makeup on my face to force me not to break into tears every day when all people want to do is hug me better and I can't even commit to that. I wish you understood what you've done to me. It's so hard when you need something and you can't have it. Exhausted from all of these emotions. Need to get a grip. Nothing to grip. Never been this miserable :(:(:(

My perfect tomorrow will never come

16 months of my life, I have woken up thinking about nothing else but you. I doubt that will change for a very long time. You have been a very important, special part of my life. You taught me a lot. You taught me what im good at, what my weak points are. What makes me truly happy. What makes my truly sad. You were the best and worst thing to happen to me. You'll never understand how much I loved you and how much I wanted to have you by my side forever. And yeah I said it. Forever. Because that's what I thought you were. Thats one thing I will always remember because of you. Forever never lasts forever. You are not my forever. I need to remember that too. Everything happens for a reason. But I do love you and I will miss you, for a very long time.

You're so fucking beautiful.

My fear

My fear is that if I let you go, you will go. I don't want you to go but I have to let you go. I don’t think you want this. I don't think you want me hanging around so i won’t try to stick around. You won’t forgive. Or forget. You’ll won’t let go of what’s happened. I can’t change what’s happened. Hell I don’t even know how im going to react when my mind catches up on what’s happened. This time I don’t have anything to distract me. Things will never be the same from this moment. I need to be strong, let you do what you have to do and move on. You've got better things to do now than me. People that understand you better and people you enjoy your time with. Im sorry I couldn't give you that. If there is ever a moment when you need me, we will always have this. Unless you delete our entire past. Don’t ever think I didn’t want you or that I want something different. It’s you ive wanted from the moment you asked me to run away and marry you. Remember you are a beautiful person and I admire you for trying to keep everything sweet. Your a good person. Better than me. Good luck with everything. Im sorry. For what it's worth, I do love you. Im just weak.

Ive always wanted to live on the water, where the sea can rock me to sleep. It may sound strange but the way you twitch your feet when we're falling to sleep, well that to me, feels perfect. Like your my home, where I want to be and im happy. Just thought you should know.

It’s not about letting me down, ever. You could never do that. It’s about doing it for yourself. So proud to call you my girlfriend and always will be! I hope you cuddle the shit out of me tonight. I like you a lot! 💋💋💋