possibly top 10 influential tweet for me
………… love u siken
Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal
somewhere in this beautiful world there is a man who sounds like Paulie Walnuts because he learned English by watching the Sopranos
was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself
waittttt there's more. apparently he was outed as a homosexual by a competitor but the pope was like well the gowns are sickening so what am i gonna do about it? and so he's still the pope's dressmaker even though he said vatican priests tried to fuck him all the time when he was closeted. work
He also makes SEX perfume
Julia Sok
Oh thank God a reputable profession
it’s so funny how people in “”nice”” cars truly and fully believe they deserve to get everywhere faster than everyone else and that the roads belong to them only specifically. cousin i will breakcheck you in my shitty little 2013 hundai. we will die. or we will learn patience together❤️ take my hand
catalystcomet-archive-deactivat
hello this is my favorite video ever please please
catalystcomet-archive-deactivat
el muchacho monday
I came into my room and there was a web directly across the inside of my doorway even though it had only been a couple of hours since I last walked in here. Of course I immediately thought of this old Far Side which is never too far from my mind
when you fall back asleep in the morning and you get stuck in the labyrinth
I was making chitchat with the woman who works at the plant nursery and I mentioned that two baby trees I bought the other day aren't doing too well, their leaves are yellowing, maybe I'm watering them too much? what could be behind this phenomenon? and she looked like she was trying to find a gentle way to phrase it but then gave up and just said plainly, "Autumn."
another social interaction that will come back to haunt me at 3am five years from now
Dracula (1931)
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
she only plays minecraft and spore
if i was a slimegirl i would take great satisfaction in being strained through a mesh sieve. like taking a really good shower.
