due to Mental Health Reasons™️ i will be taking a break from this blog. i'm fine, i just think that taking a break from social media and spending more time outdoors now that it's summer will be good for me. i also have a lot going on goal-wise and i want to focus on other areas of my life !
i'm not sure when i'll return, but i'll change this post when i do know.
in the meantime, enjoy reblogs and occasional commentary !
in honor of it being disability pride month and summer, remember to check your medication if it can increase risk of overheating/dehydration!
i know that some psychiatric medications (like antidepressants and antipsychotics from my own experience) can increase that risk, so please take care, remember to drink water, and stay cool 👍
love you all, have a good and safe july ♡
fat trans men i need y’all to know:
if you do not understand why someones identity is a certain word or you think its contradictory or wrong, here's a word of advice- simply let them do their thing. its none of your buisness. our problems are people in the daily wire and state governors who are calling us predators, not someone on the internet using a label you dont like.
nothing inherent to a person should prevent them access to kindness.
We NEED to reevaluate how we view people with "red flags" that don't actually indicate harm to anyone. Things like "doesn't like animals," "doesn't have pets," "my pets immediately distrust them, so that means they're Secretly Evil."
I have a psychotic disorder. I suffer from flat affect. I have zero control over how I am emoting, and very often my emotional readout is completely blank. A LOT of animals (dogs especially) have exhibited aggression and fear around me ever since this started. (There are only TWO dogs I've met in the last five years that didn't BITE ME.) Dogs are unsettled by me because of a symptom of my psychosis--a condition that is out of my control that IS NOT DANGEROUS and doesn't harm anyone.
I also have a severe autoimmune disease and severe allergies to basically all animals. Whenever I tell people I can't come over because they have pets, or I don't have/want pets of my own, the IMMEDIATE response I always get is "why don't you like animals?" So I'm always pretty pissed off when I have to say, "I'm severely allergic. Don't fucking assume I have an undesireable quality just because I'm not a pet owner."
Another ableist red flag we need to talk about is "has no other friends/all their friends break up with them." Hi. I'm physically disabled with a digestive disease and a degenerative disease in my spine. That means my dietary restrictions are stupid and I can't sit/stand/walk for more than 15 minutes without being in pain. Most of the friends I break up with, I do so BECAUSE THEY ARE INCREDIBLY ABLEIST TO ME with no visible potential of changing. From people relentlessly harrassing me about lifestyle changes to not accepting correction or feedback when I tell them "hey, you CAN'T do x because it triggers y condition." If they argue or blow me off, I'm not their fucking friend!
Tl;dr: Disabled, chronically ill, and people with "scary" mental illnesses are often lumped in with "bad people" for characteristics that hurt no one and aren't in their control. Stop using "my dog is uncomfortable around them" as a litmus test for everyone you hang out with.
christ... STOP FUCKING SAY "GO NONVERBAL," "GO SEMIVERBAL." NO SUCH THING. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!!!!! STOP TAKING WORDS STOP STEALING STOP STOP STOP!!!
[pt: christ ... stop fucking say "go nonverbal," "go semiverbal." no such thing. stop it stop it stop it!!!!!!!!! stop taking words stop stealing stop stop stop!!! /end pt]
speech loss, verbal crash, so many other words, let look in tags without seeing wrong wrong wrong
this go for alter too!! not nonverbal, alter who not speak. not nonverbal, not nonverbal
You. Are. worthy.
Even if you never drive. Even if you need help with basic tasks. Even if you need help with hygiene. Even if you’ll never work. Even if you’ll need help for the rest of your life. You’re. Still. Worthy.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re useless, or that you don’t deserve certain things. You’re amazing, and I see you.
The saddest thing for me is that I almost came out to my straight friend as a bi lesbian but could never even dream of letting my queer friends know. I don't feel safe around other queer people with my identity. I feel safer with straight people because they might be confused but they won't be so cruel and hateful. They won't call me lesbiphobic or biphobic. They won't tell me to end myself. They don't care about queer discourse. Straight people might be confused but queer people can hurt you so bad for who you are.
like. are white queers even aware that Black queers who aren’t Marsha P. Johnson exist?
Do they know more Black queers have been born since then? Do they know that people are pretty chill with studs’ masculinity in Black spaces and it’s mostly a casual thing? Do they know that the whole “Black people are homophobic” stereotype is way more complicated and nuanced than they think, and way less accurate than they assume (and also their fault because widespread homophobia is some colonizer bullshit)?
Do they know intersectionality is an internal experience as well as an external one? Do they know femmes can have short hair and mascs can have long hair without it being gnc because that’s not how Black genders are perceived? Do they know what a gnc Black woman really looks like, or do they just assume all Black women are a little masculine? Do they know visibly queer Black people in the US have to worry about what will happen and how they’ll be perceived when they get pulled over? Do they know my Blackness is a huge part of both my gender and sexuality, and stud was the main term I used for both for a long time?
Do they know how many Black queers feel excluded from the queer community because white queers don’t care to learn? Do they know how many times we’ve tried to tell them about our cultures and identities just to be ignored? Do they know they’ve stolen almost all of their “gay slang” from Black people and call it ghetto when we do it but cool and trendy when they do it? Do they know we all used butch once, but then they decided Black people couldn’t anymore, then they tried to take stud from us too? Do they care that they have repeatedly tried to gentrify us out of our own language? Do they know not all studs are ok with being grouped in with butches, and some even resent it because butches are always the default and no one talks about studs?
Do they know anything about us?
(white people can rb but think before you speak)
To fat queer people who never get to see representation of themselves because the vast majority of queer representation is of thin people
To fat queer people who have to put ten times the effort into their gender expression just to be viewed as 10% of their gender
To fat queer people who get misgendered no matter how they look
To fat queer people who can never present how they want to anyway because affirming clothes in their size are either nonexistent, triple the price, or terrible quality
To fat asexuals who are believed even less about their identity because they're told it's just a matter of "no one wanting to have sex with them"
To fat aromantics who aren't respected because their aromanticism is viewed as "No one loved you anyway"
To fat gay people who have their identities denied because "You just couldn't find a man/woman who wanted you"
To fat nonbinary people whose bodies are viewed in the queer community as inherently gendered and incapable of being androgynous
To fat binary trans people who are always viewed as whatever gender hurts them most
To fat trans people who are denied surgeries due to medical fatphobia, have difficulty finding products like binders in their size, are told that thinness is a must to "pass" as their gender, and have their bodies weaponized by terfs
To fat queer people who are viewed as "cringe" for the crime of existing as fat and queer
To fat queer people who can't even buy pride merchandise without having to worry if their size will be offered and then have to pay more than thin queer people just to show their queer pride
To fat queer people who developed eating disorders due to the fatphobia peddled by their own communities
To fat queer people whose identities are partially influenced or entirely caused by the fatphobia they have experienced for years and decades
To fat queer people who are forced by fellow queer people into sexual positions they're uncomfortable with, such as topping, just because they're bigger and have stereotypes forced onto their body
To fat queer people who joined a relationship and experienced sexual trauma because their partner only wanted to humiliate a fat person and ignore your boundaries
To fat queer people who only see themselves in queer porn as a tool for the humiliation of thin queer people who dared to have sex with a fat person or never see your body in sexual content at all
To fat femmes who are viewed as butch no matter what they do because their fatness is gendered against their will
To fat butches who don't feel able to experiment with femininity if they want to
To fat queer people who have an even harder time finding a partner in the queer community because of rampant fatphobia
To fat queer people who have had to hear "No fats, no femmes"
To fat queer people who are constantly told they're not "truly oppressed" because they "don't have it as bad as [X queer identity]"
To fat intersex people who have to deal with strangers believing they're an expert on your body because fat people can't have knowledge about how their own bodies work
To fat queer people who can't even trust that other queer people fighting for equality won't use fat bodies as symbolism for immoral behaviors and beliefs
To fat queer people who can't rely on doctors who accept queer identities to not still discriminate against them because of medical fatphobia
To fat queer people who don't believe they can be loved without being fetishized
To fat queer people whose queer identities are viewed even more as a fetish because their bodies are viewed as a fetish
To fat queer people who took way longer to realize they're queer because they never saw any queer representation that included them
And to so, so, so many other fat people with experiences of fatphobia in the queer community
You all belong. You are the identities you say you are. You do not make the queer community "look bad" just because fatphobes want to use our bodies as weapons for fatphobia and queerphobia. You deserve to be respected and have representation. You deserve to not be treated as an afterthought.
We are queer, and our experiences matter.
“ To fat femmes who are viewed as butch no matter what they do because their fatness is gendered against their will “
I have been in a ballgown and opera gloves and curled my hair and pink makeup on the full 9 as fem as I could ever get. I was still asked to be ‘the man/lead’ when going to the event.
I fucking feel this so bad. I'm so sorry. You are not less femme than a thin person no matter what shit people say to you, and I promise you that
hey so race-based affirmative action was torn down by the surpreme court recently. are white allies gonna be mad or are you guys going to go “it is what it is 😔” and do nothing.
funny how this year politics trends like. quite a lot when other minorities are losing their rights. but there’s not too much of a discussion about this one.
STOP USING THE WORD WOKE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR STUPID WHITE QUEER BULLSHIT!!!
plain text: stop using the word woke to talk about your stupid white queer bullshit!!! end plain text.
Woke is a word created by Black people for Black people as a reminder of police brutality against Black people. It’s already been ruined by the far right, and now you’re learning it from them without knowing its history while routinely excluding queer people of color from the queer community. I’m so fucking tired of white queers stealing AAVE terms like this and repackaging it as “Gen Z” or “gay” slang
AND you still use it as a derogatory word. It’s never with a positive connotation or about raising awareness. It’s always “folx is a silly unnecessarily woke word” and “amab and afab are just woke ways of saying male and female” when no!!! Woke is for Black people! and it’s not a bad thing! Stop fucking treating it like it’s a bad thing!!!!!
nonblack people are not only allowed, but encouraged to reblog
rbing this every time i see some bullshit
The Supreme Court struck down affirmative action yesterday (June 29, 2023) and sided with a Colorado Christian who said serving queer people went against her 1st Amendment rights today (June 30, 2023)
happy thursday everyone, the supreme court just struck down affirmative action which, by the way, sets a precedent that puts workplace diversity considerations at risk too, something the majority conservative court will likely be eager to support!
[text description:
When someone says "not all cops are evil"
The system is evil
All cops enforce the system]
on one hand it’s really cool to see so many Black people feeling seen because of that racism post
but on the other hand it’s really disheartening to see how many of us respond to the question of “Do they know…?” with “No. They don’t. And they aren’t trying to learn.”
like… all this talk about how infighting is pointless and we all need to unite against the current political climate, but I haven’t seen any posts on my dash about the Supreme Court striking down affirmative action (which affects Black queers) today. White people seem more focused on things like neopronouns than they are about learning what they’re doing wrong and how they’ve hurt a large part of the community. They don’t care about unity when it means they have to put in the work to understand the complexities of intersectional queerness
I wish I could say we’re being pessimistic, but so many of us feel isolated from each other because the queer Internet population is overwhelmingly white and the general queer community because white queers aren’t making an effort to include (or even just not exclude) us. White people need to do better
this exactly.
it’s so hard to be positive about the queer internet sometimes exactly BECAUSE it’s overwhelmingly white, with a pretty selective memory.
it’s not just the internet – behind the internet is real people. i was in a gsa meeting at my school, and someone legit said during a discussion that “no straight couple has ever feared to be together” and as a mixed black person i called them out. they said it didn’t count.
and y'all wonder why we don’t trust you.
oooh but it’s one experience – no, it’s part of a general trend of white queer people selectively taking black culture and history.
ooh but that’s one person – yeah, and what kind of culture enabled them to feel comfortable to say that? to think it was true?
…i do feel like the neopronouns point was unfair tho. i use neos. let’s not point at neo users as a problem when the problem is white queers not educating themselves and fostering a hostile climate to poc, esp black people.
oh I didn’t mean for it to look like that, although I totally see how it came across that way now that I reread it!
I meant to say something more like their idea of unity only applies to queer subjects and doesn’t include intersectionality. Like neopronouns are only a queer thing, yet it’s generally all I see people talking about. Whereas things like racism and ableism aren’t getting the same attention at all, despite poc and disabled people being routinely excluded from both physical and online queer spaces. They want queer unity, but they don’t understand that queer unity has to include education about intersectionality and other axes of oppression that they might be participating in, even if it forces them to confront their biases and/or makes them uncomfortable
i also should clarify that neopronouns are not the only example of this. there are other things I can’t think of right now so I’m using neos as the example
i dislike the implications that "disabled people who aren't working" and "disabled people who cannot afford to be unemployed" are discrete categories. bc i guarantee they do overlap. some disabled people will not be able to afford to be unemployed but they cannot, even at a push, even with accommodations, remain in employment. and it's important to remember them
like it genuinely sucks that people are in a position where they are forced to sacrifice their health for survival. but the people who can't work aren't "lucky" they can afford to do that, because there were thousands of disabled people who were unable to work who weren't that "lucky" when austerity policies led to their deaths. unless you're saying they're "lucky" to survive which honestly is quite insensitive. direct that frustration elsewhere
no you cannot hold my cane while im not currently using it
no you cannot grab it from where i rested it while i was sitting
no you cannot borrow it nor try it out for a sec
no you cant take it from me while im occupied with a task
even if you did ask my permission before doing any of this id still say no
keep your fucking hands off my aid
the only time you can touch it is if i ask you to pass it to me, and no that doesnt mean you get to try it out that is not permission for you to use it.
pro tip for disabled people (especially autistic people) that i just realized after literal years of chronic illness...
when a health professional asks how you're doing, it's not small talk. they want to know how your health has been. do not reply "good." if you seem them for chronic pain, talk about your pain. if you see them for mental health, tell them how you've been feeling. etc. etc. again... don't reply "good." jump right into it and be honest about your health.
