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Twirling my hair rn

@isopodconstructioncrew

he/him or anything else that makes it funny

Hot take ig but kids in high school shouldn't have to work either. They should be spending their evenings doing homework and extra-curriculars and fucking around.

There definitely shouldn't be entire industries reliant on their low-wage labor. Why are there many kids being scheduled for a 6 hour shift after a 7 hour school day when they've got learning and their future and their childhood to worry about?

Any industry built on poverty wage child labor should perish, and that's most fast food and grocery and retail so I guess the economy's tanked 🤷. Should've thought about that before deciding to make the essential work into jobs for children and the underclass.

This is what regressive policies look like

and most red states are capitulating to the capitalists by lower age for children to work at dangerous jobs.  right @7thgenscot  

Not to mention these jobs are super labor intensive and in some cases dangerous.

Standing for hours on end? Carrying heavy boxes? Fryers? Working over hot stoves? Running around carrying trays full of a dozen dishes?

-fae

I've been on a White People Expedition Diary kick recently. I see why Lovecraft was fucking obsessed with this as a framing device, they are insanely compelling.

July 17th, 1884: "Food supplies are low. The Dutchman has eaten so many dog livers that he is now hallucinating from vitamin A poisoning, which is a thing that can happen apparently."

July 18: "We kicked that faggy Austrian botanist into a ravine. Lmao. Had a lovely bath."

July 19th 1884: "The Dutchman has been confined to the sled. We have sacrificed our belts to restrain his movements, lest we lose another Austrian to his Poop Madness."

July 20th 1884: "The men are demanding I leave behind my bathtub. I will not."

My fave part of the doomed Franklin expedition:

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

sorry, it's a GOOD thing if cishet people use non-conforming pronouns or dress in non-conforming ways or whatever else. for one, that person may not be cishet. but more importantly, living in a society where more people feel comfortable exploring their relationship to gender and sexuality is an undoubtedly GOOD thing

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If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

On it boss!!

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[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!

Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.

this is the fucking funniest thing ive ever seen im in tears of laughter. (right axis) . this is a work of fucking art

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As you all can see when I started to purchase $10 pocket knives at gas stations in late 2017 and continued to do so once a year every year the gap between my annual military expenditure and that of the U.S. quickly began to close.

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here it is on one axis lmao

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Thank you for this simplified lesson in what propaganda looks like.

Someone smarter than me has probably gone into the semiotics of it but this kind of non-graph -- whose primary purpose is to mystify readily available and perfectly readable information which suggests a conclusion disagreeable to the graphmaker -- it has to serve some function beyond simple lying. It has to reflect some kind of magical thinking, a belief in taking an inconvenient truth and physically overstriking it on printed paper as a form of curse. The reliability with which graphs like this appear on major news networks and prestige periodicals, where the audience includes the nation's most powerful businessmen and politicians, has to reflect some kind of ritual behavior. My money's on its use as propaganda itself being ritual behavior, a blunt assertion that the truth is whatever the powerful make of it. The availability to the public is not an accident and the clarification of how asinine it is by regime opponents seems to be part of the ritual

The information is being deliberately obscured to A) partially encrypt the information from the average persons understanding, and B) reify the information to a more abstract yet politically specific sense of Importance.

Imo this fits the definition of Occult. This graph has been Occluded.