Ghost Puberty

Danny already went through Puberty once, as a human.

But now that he's been a half ghost for thirteen years, he gets to experience

It includes;

So Danny, 27 and fresh on the Bludhaven Police Force, is caught by his new partner as he desperately grips onto his desk to stop himself from floating into the ceiling, legs loops around the leg of a chair already four inches off the ground.

He stares at his partner.

His partner stares back.

"...So anyways, I was thinking we could go over these new forms, they're in the department file labeled 'suggestion'," his partner, Dick Grayson, says, casually leaning on Danny's shoulders and forcing the chair onto the ground.

They stare at useless forms on the computer until Danny's able to control it, and afterwards Dick takes him out for milkshakes.

Dick thinks he's a new meta.

Danny's too embarrassed to admit it's just puberty.

@simplestoryteller

Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.

Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.

Oh shit.

The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.

The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.

This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.

Of course.

So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?

What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams. 

He most certainly is

I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.

[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard

[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird

[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…

[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…

[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!

[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…

[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…

[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….

[Gomez]: Yes….

[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!

[Gomez]: Yes!

[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!

[Gomez]: YES!

[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*

[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!

[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?

I AM DECLARING THIS CANON.

HEADCANON ACCEPTED

@copperbadge

I mean when you think about it, if Bruce Wayne is an Addams, everything he does makes sense. Gotham makes sense. Damian Wayne, trained vegetarian assassin, makes more sense if he’s an Addams.  

Now that we have accepted this revelation, I want you all to think about a hypothetical situation in which Bruce brings Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses. 

Alternate suggestion: after his parents were gunned down, and before the police arrived, a man on his way to the bathroom for a leak heard the gunshots and the screams, and being the sort of man who holds no fear of death or entertains any sort of disinclination to deliver a nice bit of torture or dismemberment or fisticuffs to someone who deserves it, Gomez Addams burst out the door into the alleyway, too late to do anything but comfort a traumatized boy whose eyes are filled with the sight of his parents’ blood.

His brand of comfort is considered highly unorthodox, but sometimes it’s just the sort of comfort a traumatized child needs, not too warm or too bright to be believed by someone who feels that the world will never be all right again, but the comfort of someone who has learned to walk with death, and even to dance, and by the time the police arrive, and the medics, and the coroners, and Alfred, Bruce Wayne is … not okay, at all, but a little less not-okay than he would be.

And Gomez is a wealthy man, if possessed of a rather eccentric reputation, and there is no doubting his kindness, so when the invitations start arriving for young Bruce to visit, to attend an All Hallows Eve party, to play with young Wednesday and Pugsley, to learn swordfighting or dancing or how to be a good host at a dinner party … Alfred sees no harm in letting his young charge go off to do so. Bruce always comes back a bit more settled, a bit more sure of himself, so they must be a good influence.

And when Bruce gets his idea about vengeance, and protection, and a giant bat suit, well. His mentor Gomez thinks it’s a delightful idea, here, there are live bats in the belfry if Bruce needs some references, and dead ones in taxidermied and articulated skeleton form all through the house if he wants to make anatomically correct wings, and a treasure trove of weaponry and interesting gadgets that Wednesday and Pugsley have been trying to kill each other with for years now, knock yourself out.

And nobody is prouder than Gomez when Batman brings his first sidekick home.

Bruce bringing Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses: sublime, excellent, comedy gold

Bruce bringing Dick, his new murderbaby to meet the Addamses: The Epitome Of Perfection

When Damian gets introduced his stabbing ways are welcomed with enthusiasm. His choice of knife is complimented. Wednesday offers to show him her collection. He finds his father’s extended family acceptable. He has a new favorite aunt and new knife. He enjoys hearing tales of the generational sibling rivalry. At least one assassination attempt occurs between stories.

here are a few things that could help if you’re looking to get into comics because it’s very confusing at first (and every moment after)

good luck!

I hope it’s okay to add something but DC Cosmic Teams pretty much helped me a lot to get in their… cosmic teams, obviously, and some others. Especially Legion of Super-Heroes, New Gods, and JLA’s branch teams/members.

Also, How to Love Comics has some great reading guides/lists, especially for lesser known characters and series!

I dont read comics but ik some of you do so!!

Master List: Description

Guide: Describing Character Appearance and Clothing Guide: Showing vs Telling The 3 Fundamental Truths of Description (And 5 Tips for Cutting Back) Description: Style vs Excess/Deficiency Weaving Details into the Story Horror by Darkness Horror by Daylight Avoiding Cheesy Character Description How to Make Your Description More Vivid Adding Description to Your Writing When “Telling” is Okay Alternatives to Showing Sadness with Tears Description When POV Character is Blind Adding Emotional Details to a Horror/Tragedy Scene Portraying Strong Emotions Describing Skin Tone Writing Body Language Describing a Character Who is Asian Describing Music How to Describe a Singing Voice

So my latest obsession is apparently the official twitter for the US Consumer Product Safety Commission, which is about half recall announcements for various shitty amazon products and half…..memes? pseudo-memes?? works of surrealist art??? what do i even call these

Whoever made these is either a random middle-aged government worker who’s spent enough time with Young Internet People to be at least 60% sure what a meme is or a Gen Z artistic genius and i can’t decide which

It’s beautiful

as much time as you want but the orangutan also gets that preptime

Okay I choose 45 years and he dies of old age

in 45 years of prep time that orangutan has made and trained a successor whos coming to beat ur ass now

In 45 years prep time I politicize my anti-orangutan ideals and garner support. I tell them made-up stories of their savagery, they become public enemy number one. I become head of office, enforce an anti-orangutan ordinance, create an orangutan extinction squad, and play the waiting game. I sign an agreement with the southeastern countries, Brunei, Burma, Cambodia, Timor-Leste, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, Thailand and Vietnam to enact consecutive strikes in their jungles to rid the world of our ‘’greatest threat’’, the orangutan. The successor is no more. 

GET BACK, GET BACK. ALL OF YOU GET BACK 

You cannot escape your doom Pukicho. Only prolong the inevitable. The prophecy cannot be stopped.

How dare you make me choose

time for my first shitpost of 2023! i want to make it special what should i post

wait SHIT

I DEMAND A DO OVER

fuck it. happy 2023. here, have some of my least favorite photographs of kangaroos

Now I want to see the top 5 best pictures of kangaroos

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!