parts of our universe, some smaller than atoms and some bigger than planets, are spinning 24/7 (Earth time)………. and you’re not gonna twirl around and do a lil dance ?? 🌚🕺🏻
sabanasblancasuniverse-deactiva
This is universal. This comedy transcends time and language.
Hes right
Photographs: Istanbul mosque, Turkey. (sources: dailysabah.com and karar.com)
Can't let British people have air conditioning because first they'd call it something twee like "the climate fixer" and then in 20 years they'll call it "the climb" or "the climmy"
French kids would call it "le climot", frustrating language officials who would prefer they call it "machine pour le contrôle du climat froide à l'interieure de l'édifice"
what's this 'wife' business? nobody calls him Prince-Consort Mario
if Bowser kidnapped my plumbing client, I would be saying “wahoo” as long as those hours were billable
Tired: Bowser's kidnappings are arranged by Peach as a secret romance
Wired: Bowser's kidnappings are arranged by Mario as an elaborate form of timecard fraud
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These little kids at MoMA were trying to recreate this piece of art and it made my life.
what are your retirement plans?
A little different from the typical retired person, I plan to become a stay-at-home husband and raise two or three small kids.
aww so sweet! do you already have kids or will you be acquiring those at a later date
A later date, I think. We haven’t even been married for two years! It’s the longer run I’m thinking about.
i didn’t know you were married frank! to whom? and are they a robot too? or an animal?
My wife isn’t a robot or an animal, she’s a person. Here she is!
hate to inform you frank, that is a looming shadow with a terrifying copper hand! that is not a person! you may want to reconsider your relationship with her if you weren’t aware of this, she seems to be keeping some important things from you. genuinely though i am scared of her
I am in a committed relationship with my wife and I have no intention of changing that.
when will you retire??
Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.
Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny
real life creepypasta
