@ironpipenurse / ironpipenurse.tumblr.com
Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes
The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is
you can see the increasing age of tumblr users, these posts are like tree rings.
wtf i had a dream last night that i was obsessed with learning about man-made objects that had wound up in space one way or another and every article or infographic displayed the bounds of space, as in the outer edge of the universe and the only thing beyond that was king tut? like it would either just be his name or a graphic of the sarcophagus staring back at me from the black void
HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE HOMESTUCK
HOLD UP??????
i am sooo glad i googled that. so Now we have to celebrate lains bday tomorrow.
Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet
Ho oh
I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure
Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?
In the kindest way possible, fuck you
Everyday Konami gives less of a shit about Silent Hill
this is without exaggeration the funniest story ive ever read in a youtube comment
i know i wouldnt survive in an austen novel because someone would be britishly, discretely rude to me and i would be completely unable to restrain myself from calling them a cunt to their face
my detested rival: why, madam, you look so drawn and pale today! does the small size of your estate not give you enough freedom to take in the sun?
me: listen you waxy, lemon-faced bitch,,
Rich, eccentric, elderly widow Lady peering over at the conversation: That one. That one shall be my heir.
Image prompt
“Gary, I realize it’s your first day, but we do have a dress code.”
I literally can’t tell who is talking to who, and I don’t want to change that for a second.
I don't believe that violence or assassination are politically necessary beyond the most extreme circumstances but I do think it would be extremely funny if, during a live tv interview, someone broke into the studio and cut off Elon Musk's head with a longsword.
Can you imagine? Suddenly the interview goes quiet over the sound of a struggle offscreen. People crane their necks to see what the commotion is. Suddenly, a stranger in full plate armor with a beautifully hand-forged flamberge bursts onto the stage.
For the blade to catch his neck. It doesn't go all the way through but the force knocks him out of the white leather chair. People are shouting but it's all happening so fast that people are still in shock. The sword comes down again, straight down like a guillotine. The head gives. The knight vaults another couch and vanishes offstage, the authorities never find any trace. Cut to a commerical for cryptocurrency.
How the Grim Reaper sends dogs to the afterlife in The Sims 3
Actually, I think girls in middle school and high school should still feel comfortable having fuzzy pillows and lava lamps and glitter pens and sequin tops and a colorful wardrobe and whatever else they think is pretty or cool. Maybe we shouldn’t, like, try to beat the personality and life out of the youngsters, neither should we expect them to act like anything other than their actual age.
People wonder why kids are so obsessed with video games when I see grown adults telling *elementary schoolers* that they’re too old to play with dolls or play food or train sets, or that they’re being “ridiculous” for pretending to be animals or Frozen characters. I’ve met so many kids who are completely ashamed that they want to play with my toys when I offer because it’s for “babies” despite desperately wanting to.
Also as soon as you hit 22 you will be running straight back to the fuzzy pillows, lava lamps and glitter pens there's just this bizarre spot where you're a teenager when society says you shouldn't do those things
Most people my age have at least one stuffed animal in their bed, trust me you don't actually need to let that shit go
*waves this C.S. Lewis quote*
