once again asking for reblogz plz pretty plz i want tasty data and my follower demographic is small and probably more muslim than average

I was raised pagan but I believed in Santa. In fact, I was terrified of Santa. I didn't like the idea of him watching me when I slept, and I DEFINITELY didn't like the idea of him breaking into my house at night. My mom, however, was raised Catholic, and wanted me to have the Santa experience, so in order to combat my fear of Santa she invented an alternative

ODIN CLAUS

Odin Claus is Santa's cousin who lives in Norway (or maybe it was Iceland. I forgot), and wears green. Odin Claus knows if you've been bad or good because when he was a teenager he pulled out his eye and threw it down the Well of Knowledge, so now he has a magic glass eye instead. He doesn't ride a sleigh, but rather an eight-legged horse named Sleipnir. He has no elves, and rather than making his toys 100% by hand, he orders the parts from the manufacturers (cause I always thought it was questionable that Santa could somehow handcraft brand-name items) and then assembles them himself.

All of this by rights sounds INFINITELY more terrifying than Santa, but for some reason I wasn't scared of Odin Claus. I thought he ruled and I was ecstatic when he "visited" our local pagan community group (apparently heedless to the fact that it was very obviously my mom's friend Francis in a green Santa suit and fake beard), and when he asked me what GREAT DEEDS OF VALOR I had done that year to deserve presents, I proudly proclaimed "STUFF!" and he was like. Well alright then! Good job!

Anyway. I don't have anywhere I'm going with this other than that there should possibly be an option for "believed in some bizarre Santa alternative"

Emergency Commission #14 - I know she's blue. Hush!

I always knew something was fucked up with that artificial sugar shit. Never liked it, I was genuinely confounded by the number of people who claimed it tasted identical.

White moms are going to go apeshit

NO.

this is about the IARC not the FDA. the IARC (international agency for research on cancer) is part of the WHO (world health organization) and not a food safety agency. they classify "agents" (chemical, physical, or biological entities or exposure circumstances) based on how likely they are to cause cancer:

Group 1: Carcinogenic to humans (126 agents)

Group 2A: Probably carcinogenic to humans (94 agents)

Group 2B: Possibly carcinogenic to humans (322 agents)

Group 3: Not classifiable as to its carcinogenicity to humans

this new classification of aspartame as 2B "possibly carcinogenic to humans" is the result of a review of available studies, and mostly intended to encourage additional research. it is not aimed at consumers/the public and it does not take dosage or frequency into account.

for context: apart from aspartame, group 2B includes things like "aloe vera, whole leaf extract", "carpentry", "magnetic fields", and "traditional asian pickled vegetables"

"occupation as a hairdresser or barber", "very hot beverages at above 65°C" (149°F), and "consumption of red meat" are all classified as 2A

and Group 1 includes "alcoholic beverages", "epstein-barr virus", "salted fish", "processed meat", and being a painter.

anyway. this is fearmongering and disinformation. stop using memes for news and dont reblog "news" posts without sources.

original reuters report:

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/whos-cancer-research-agency-say-aspartame-sweetener-possible-carcinogen-sources-2023-06-29/

where is that net zero information quote

The current research as mentioned in the article above indicates that an "average" adults who weighs 60 kg / 132 lbs would have to drink 12 to 36 cans (probably 16 oz/470 mL per can) EVERY SINGLE DAY to be at risk.

The largest American fountain soda you can buy is typically a "Super Big Gulp" at 44 oz (1,300 mL). You'd need to drink 4.33 Super Big Gulps to reach the minimum cancer risk zone (192 oz / 5,678 mL). Without ICE. Very very few Americans are doing that, IDK about Europeans.

Let's get wild though, and say someone is using their special edition Team Gulp cup (128 oz / 3,800 mL), they'd still have to drink 1.5 of those a day, every day, for years for their cancer risk to be possibly elevated. Again, for Americans, no ice.

Let's get absolutely stupid and look at the top end (512 oz / 15,142 mL)... You'd have to drink 11.6 Super Big Gulps or 4 Team Gulps. No ice.

An important thing to note is that the "average" human only needs 91-125 oz of any fluid per day to function. Everything else must be urinated in order to maintain electrolyte balances in your body. You're getting some of that in your food if you're not eating powder all the time. If you're drinking that much aspartame soda all the time, you'd be constantly in the bathroom as your kidneys and bladder worked to remove all that excess fluid.

In short: It's unlikely that most people could easily achieve or maintain the level of daily aspartame consumption necessary to put themselves at risk.

Aspartame is likely safe in moderation, and is very helpful to people with diabetes. People should be drinking sweet drinks in moderation as a general rule, whether they're sweetened with aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, or cane sugar.

this is a bit heavyhanded but shhhhh shhhh

"I want to be responsible for something that gets mentioned in the same breath as the Mona Lisa — forever." -- Miles Bron, The Glass Onion (2022)

GQ published this, got a phone call, and killed it, but someone had already archived it, so...

Time to make sure lots and lots of people see it!

If you're wondering why the relatively tame article above got scrubbed from GQ, that's because it's the revised version of the article. This is a version that was captured 5 hours earlier from what I can tell:

Highlights include (emphasis mine):

Zaslav presided over "Discovery’s transition from educational programming to reality slop—which is, of course, a much more lucrative business model."

"But Zaslav did himself no favors, and did little to blur that binary, when announcing the merger of the HBOMax and Discovery+ streaming services in a quarterly earnings call—which included a much-derided infographic deeming HBOMax’s scripted programming as “male skew,” “appointment viewing,” and “lean in” (?), while Discovery+’s unscripted shows were “female skew” “comfort viewing,” and thus ”lean back” (?!?)."

"And while they insisted Zaslav had assured them “that TCM and classic cinema are very important to him,” subsequent reporting indicated that TCM’s staff had been cut from 90 employees to a skeletal 20."

"Nearly lost in the hullabaloo was yet another of the company’s exhaustive attempts to squeeze a profit from its assets: a $500 million deal to sell around half of their film and TV-music library. In a perhaps too-good-to-be-true detail, the sale would reportedly include “As Time Goes By” from Casablanca—the musical fanfare that plays before every Warner Bros. feature film."

"Barely a month ago, Graydon Carter was hosting a party in Zaslav’s honor at Cannes, all but crowning him as the heir apparent to Jack Warner. But there’s a crucial difference between Zaslav and the old-school moguls he’s attempting to emulate: They loved movies, and cared about filmmakers. Zaslav sees movies as “content,” sees filmmakers as “content creators,” and is only interested in maintaining, preserving, and presenting “content” that can make him and his stockholders a quick buck. Anything that doesn’t, he’ll happily gut. He’s closer to Logan Roy than Jack Warner and there is a genuine, understandable fear that his bean-counting represents not just shrugging indifference but outright hostility to cinema and its rich history."

"In Pretty Woman, Richard Gere stars as Edward Lewis, a corporate raider who buys companies “that are in financial difficulty” and sells off their pieces. “So it's sort of like stealing cars and selling them for the parts, right?” asks call girl Vivian (Julia Roberts), when he explains what he does, and it’s hard not to think of Lewis when looking over Zaslav’s reign at Warner Bros Discovery, stepping into the distressed conglomerate and stripping it for parts.

Edward Lewis, however, is at least honest about what he does. “You don't make anything,” Vivian notes, and he agrees; “You don’t build anything,” she continues, and he concurs with that as well. And perhaps that’s why David Zaslav is earning a concerning reputation so far. He’s out here carrying on like a mogul, but based on his performance to date, he’s only good at breaking things."

Per my last reblog, it appears tumblr is largely unaware of the chaotic-good work done by the folks over at The Chaser (@chaser) so here's the aforementioned recent example of them crashing George Pell's funeral

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

Idk if I’ve rebloged this before, but I’ll reblog this legend again

Smithsonian? I’ve found the quintessential Tumblr and Sherlock fandom post. Yes. I would consider it definitive.

Ahh it’s back.

Legend of a post. 10/10 recommend reblogging.

this post is on my dash I feel HONORED

THE POST OF LEGENDS HAS RESURFACED ON MY DASH

I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS OMG

On your dash? I dig for gold like this,,, by looking at my mutual pages.

I’ve only seen this on Pinterest!

*gasp* THE SACRED TEXTS!

:O

THIS IS A LEGENDARY POST I HAVE BEEN GRACED BY IT’S APPEARANCE!!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

yesssss

Why did Tumblr stop doing stuff like this, it’s genuinely fascinating, and cute that we include our favorite media in things we do

Well. Since you asked. I was on tumblr as this post was being built in 2013. The height of superwholock. Which has, since then, been declared peak cringe. So people picked new fandoms to openly love in earnest. Which were also eventually declared cringe. Eventually the youth decided to cut out the middleman, and declared loving anything in earnest to be fully cringe. So it has been a really long time since the day to day users of tumblr have let any fandom create anything nearing the cultural phenomenon that was superwholock. And it is exactly those cultural phenomena that are needed to create posts like this.

So. What happened? Cringe culture happened.

Try and imagine what would happen if this post wasn’t the “sacred texts” only ever seen in screen shots and in pinterest. Try and imagine any current pop culture detective media fandom creating this post today. They’d be slaughtered for being cringe by the time (in this case) Sherlock was mentined.

But because this post is 10 years old and completely broke containment, it’s celebrated when it graces our dashes.

I blazed a small fandom event announcement.  Because I was genuinely excited to be part of a Big Bang for a wonderful movie.  One of the first responses I got was “Why would you blaze this?” Because of genuine excitement. Because I wanted to celebrate the friends I’d met in the fandom To spread joy to people who might also like the content but hadn’t seen it yet.   The fact that that was genuinely not realized made me sad.  I love thing, I celebrate thing.   I’m too old for cringe.  Cringe is dead.  Love what you love.  Enjoy the small things in life, it’s too short to do otherwise.

CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND WE KILLED IT.

CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND

WE KILLED IT.SPREAD THE LOVE FOR

YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I know its fun to be like omg twitter is dying lets goooo

but its really sad that we're losing yet another form of human communication and years of information because of another ceo baby manchild. I'm going to lose contact with a bunch of friends i've made because of this and it sucks

I honestly think that the lack of non-sexual nudity in public spaces has done horrific damage to American society.

We deeply struggle to understand the natural diversity of bodies because we only see naked bodies in a sexual context. We are taught that seeing nudity is somehow inherently harmful, especially to children. We struggle to differentiate between sexually suggestive and sexually explicit material.

It fucks up the way people think about and talk about sex ed. It fucks up the way people think about and talk about breast feeding. It fucks up the way people think about and talk about queer folks. It feeds into fatphobia and ableism and is all rooted in this deeply harmful puritanism.

Like, I need people to understand that seeing a bare titty in public is not going to hurt a child. Seeing a man in a banana hammock isn't inherently traumatizing. I would argue, in fact, that adults treating those things as dangerous and gross and scary is going to do way more damage to a kid's psychology than seeing the nudity in the first place.

These type of additions are vexing. Ostensibly supportive but can't help but make sure you know they're also Weird about nudity by making it about consent, doubling down on the idea that there's no such thing as nonsexual nudity, it's an action that willing partners need to consent to first. Does the breastfeeding parent need my consent to feed their child? When you see someone wearing practically see-through yoga pants, is your thought that they should have asked your consent before going outside? this is an exact example of how it fucks up the way you think, that you could read all of op and instinctually start thinking in the language of sexual assault, as if this post was about flashers

Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick

Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club

Joke's on you all my posts are flops. You'll never get me

Uh oh.

your brain is filled with eyes op

your posts are flops huh?? you know what else flops?? a dick to the ground

There’s a very powerful eldritch quality to an aged man who would condescend to answer to, nay insist upon using, the name Baby Billy. So sinister.

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

ooooh I wholeheartedly agree

my archive is full of said classic posts, if anyone wants to make this happen :)

Sub-Radio, the band that did Stacy's Dad, coming out with another banger for Pride.

Chocolate Daddy is… hot??? 🥵🥵

This is why we never see him swallow the chocolate at the end.