I got married.
Haven't been active in years. If anyone comes to my page wondering about me. Married June 2022.
90 days in and exactly 40 lbs down! Have lost 5" off my midsection, 3.5" off each thigh, and 1" off each upper arm.
🎉💙🥳💚🎉
Feeling better in my skin. Getting a little more excited about things. But still have a good way to go. Happy with how far I've come though.
I guess that's something...
Wish I could actually see and feel a difference.
Weigh In 10.17.20
Starting weight: 257.2
Last posted weigh in: 240.4
Today's weigh in: 233.2
Lost in 3 weeks: 7.2
Total lost: 24.0
It's coming off slowly. I've been on track with my structure and plan 98% of the time. My biggest thing is my creamer in the morning but I've cut down to 1/4 cup now. Trying to stick to this program and follow it and do the best I can before Thanksgiving, almost 6 more weeks away. I think I feel a bit better, other than fighting with the food cravings and food addiction in my mind. And though I'm still fairly fatigued and worn down I feel that it is improved from where I started. I'm trying to be patient but I really just want to get out of the 200s. But that will be a while. I got to my first mini goal of 235, so this is the lightest I've been in all 2020. So that's something. Next mini goal is 222, 11 more lbs to go on the front. Hopefully before Thanksgiving.
Weigh in 9.26.20
Starting weight: 257.2
Weigh in today: 240. 4
Loss: 16.8
About three weeks progress. Sticking to program. Having mental struggles with cravings but overal resisting and sticking to my why. I not happy at this weight and so uncomfortable still. Hopefully in another 10 lbs I will start to feel better in my skin and less frustrated at myself and life. First mini goal is at 235 which is the lightest I will have been in all 2020. So getting close to that. Trying not to think about having to redo all this weight. Trying to wipe the slate clean and just remind myself I lost all this weight before, I know I can do it again.
Down 10 lbs. It's a start to cleaning up the mess I made.
Only 65lbs to go...
Just a friendly reminder that you're allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel really big to you even if it might not seem as big to others.
Weigh In 6.12.20
Starting weight: 257.6
Last weigh in: 244.8
Weigh in today: 240.2
Lost this week: 4.6 lbs
Total lost: 17.4 lbs
Weight loss over the last two weeks. I had several days of slip ups the previous week so didn't want to make a official post and this number seems more accurate of my progress. I met my first mini goal of 242, which was the weight I started at back in 2017 when I first made this blog. Next mini goal I think will be 230, so 10.2 lbs to go. This weekend me and the boyfriend are celebrating 1 year together so went out for breakfast and will go out to dinner. Trying to have a semi active day though. I'm really happy of the progress I've made so far number wise. I don't feel much different though. Still feel uncomfortably fat and my clothing is still tight. I hope by the next mini goal and next month I start to feel better in my skin.
Weigh In 5.29.20
Starting weight: 257.6
Last week weigh in: 248.6
Weigh in today: 244.8
Lost this week: 3.8
Total lost: 12.8 lbs
Good week with good progress. Feel like I was due for a good week when last week was shy of what work I had put in. I can't be upset about basically 13lbs gone in May. I know the numbers are still very high from where I need to be and a long road ahead. But trying to not get overwhelmed at how far I need to go. I got 2.8 lbs till I meet my first mini goal. I could have that completed by next week if I stay on track and focused.
Weigh In 5.22.20
Starting weight: 257.6
Last week weigh in: 249.8
Weigh in today: 248.6
Lost this week: 1.2
Total lost: 9.0
Not that much progress made this week. I had a few minor slip ups by overal was on track. I feel like I should have lost more due to my recorded intake and output numbers. But maybe it'll show up more by next week. Trying to keep my goals in focus but already struggling with motivation. All my silly cravings are coming out with all my thought distortions. 6.6 lbs till I make my first mini goal. Which feels like it'll take forever if things have really slowed to this pace. Just trying to keep going and focused.
Weigh in 5.15.20
Starting weight: 257.6
Last week weigh in: 253.2
Weigh in today: 249.8
Lost this week: 3.4
Total lost: 7.8
Moving in the right direction. Still uncomfortably big though. Nice to be out of the 250s, even if it is just barley. I decided my first goal would be to 242, my old highest weight, which was when I first started on here and started my weight loss journey. I can't believe the damage I did to myself in a year, but their is only forward now. I have to fix it. 7.8 lbs to go till my first mini goal. Hopefully get there in 2-3 weeks. Then I'll decided my 2nd mini goal is at that point.
Weigh in 5.8.20
Highest weight/starting weight:: 257.6
Weigh in today:: 253.2
Weigh lost this week:: 4.4 lbs.
My first goal is to reach 242 lbs as that was my old highest weight from back in January of 2017. I'm so disappointed I became this big and gained everything back plus more. I feel awful all the time again. My depression is so much worse. The body fatigue is so much worse. I just feel bad all the time. And I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of not fitting into even my fat clothes. And my "thin" clothes have been sitting collecting dust for over a year now.
New Year 2020
I've been through the ringer this year and so many ups and downs. 2019 was not really a good year for me. My grandmother passing away this year was almost detrimental to me. It caused a tail spin in my life and I feel lost how to pull myself out of it all. I've gone through the motions and reminded myself what the plan was, but in all honesty, I've never lived in a world without her and a balence seems gone now. It wasn't all bad though. I met someone. Someone so loving and caring and phenominal. Him and I get along so well. Even when we fight we can come back together after and talk and get through things. I really feel like I finally met my person. But it also has been a stuggle to finially meet my other half when my whole life I've been just me. I don't really know how to function together. I feel so much energy is expelled onto him and not on myself because that is simply who I am. And it's not as though he doesn't do the same building me up. It a internal problem I'm getting at. My own self improvment has an off balence. I really want to fix that this upcoming year. Learn how to be myself and with someone at the same time. Build eachother up and yet have enough energy to build and grow myself.
And I know that a lot of this mental health illness does stem from my weight and how I feel every morning. I know that grieving got the best of me and I gained so much weight. And I am so happy and carefree when I am eating and I have that food high in my system. I'm in love with this feeling of fullness. And when you're dating someone new it's going out all the time and eating and speding time and money on eachother. Which has all not helped me in the situation that I am in. The lows are twice as low as the highs. My self hatrade as at an all time high. And I love that he loves me this way and he doesn't mind what I look like and how disgusting I can get, but at the same time I don't want to be this person and I don't want him to think this is who I truely am. It is just a product of how unwell I have been. I want a brighter future. I miss the days when I woke up happy in the skin I am in. And I don't want this to reflect onto him. He has been everything good in my life the last 6 months. But that doesn't mean he has cancelled out the unwellness of it all.
I know this is more rabblings to myself and for myself. I do not expect anyone to really understand this mindset that I have been in. I just wanted to write it out. Get it out. Put everthing out there and identify it and myself. I aplogize if some how you have made it this far in my ramblings and run on sentances. I want 2020 to be better. I want to feel happy in my skin. I want my life to start looking like the one I have invisioned in my mind. I want who I feel like on the inside to actually look back at me in the mirror.
Weigh in 11.20.19
Highest weight:242.1
Last weigh in: 228.0
Weigh in today: 224.4
Weight lost since last: 3.6
Total weight lost: 17.7
Not really stellar considering I last weighed in about a month ago. It's not possible for me to hit my old 180 goal by my Australia trip in February at this point. Which is disappointing but I did it to myself. I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't do this to myself. For months I maintained in the 190 to 200 range. Then I got depressed and destructive and here I am. I've been good the last 2ish weeks. No cheating and all. I'm gonna stay on track till Thanksgiving. Then that weekend and all I will enjoy leftovers. Then back to it on monday. I still want to be under 200 lbs by my trip. 190 would be even better. But I know that is a lot of hope for the effort I seem to be putting forward.