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Drop Dead!

@irefusetosink888

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Heartbroken Words unspoken Again darkness is swallowing Again death is following Leave me alone No don't go This emtiness already known Always by my side growing slow Never leaving Always bleeding The only thing that stays My own hell created by thoughts A head like a maze A mind slowly rots Never understanding No one caring

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reblogged
imtiredofactingokay
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depressedgirl83

That side of depression

Why do people never talk about the part of depression when you just don’t want anything anymore? Everybody talks about when it hurts like hell, when you cry, when you cut, when you take drugs, when you break down. But no one ever talks about when you just lay down in your room, with a hole inside of you that you don’t know how to fill, and you don’t want to do anything even the things you usually like. So you just spend your day kinda waiting for it to end. And it’s horrible because you feel empty and guilty for that at the same time. 

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thewordsyouneverunderstood
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wildwritings
17/09/14 Hello. I think I accidentally fell for you oh shit that’s awful. No, not the falling, don’t worry, just the opening; the first sentence. I’m tripping over my tongue. You make me nervous and you make me talk too fast and my cheeks hurt from smiling and I’m not sure how to fit my teeth together comfortably anymore does everyone have this problem on first dates how would I know and what difference would it make see I’m rambling I’m erratic and I can’t sit still but damn your eyes are pretty they’re so pretty I don’t remember what your nose looked like or your fingernails or your neck or or or I’ve lost myself again. I seem to keep doing that when I’m with you. Good lost though. Like I’ve torn up the map and turned my phone to airplane mode. I don’t think I’ve turned my phone to airplane mode for anyone before. I don’t think I’ve sat in a café for two and a half hours before either. Definitely not until the waitress came and kicked us out because they were cashing up. I don’t remember how to think when you’re around. it’s like I don’t need to. I spent the whole train journey going over and over in my head when we met should we hug? kiss on the cheek? hug… cheek… wave? No wave, yes hug I don’t even remember what happened anymore, it seems so insignificant compared to the ache in my rips and cheeks. it’s like a cramp that I never want to stretch out. I keep crinkling my eyes like someone’s offered me a million pounds if I manage to get deep wrinkles in the corners before I’m 30 when ever I think of you. Like like like. That’s all this is a bunch of screwed up similes that will never flatten out. I think I have a problem But the only person I want to see about it is you.

“17/09/14” R.R-P (wildwritings)

Source: wildwritings
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Happiness

A feeling long lost In a world full of disgust What are we even looking for We're not able to feel it anymore A feeling so far away Waiting for the next day Waiting for night to be over Hope for death to come closer Unable to find peace In this world we'll never feel at ease

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tullipsink
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depresant
i loved you, i did. i really wanted this to work, and it’s a shame that it didn’t. but, oh god, i still love you. you are the most interesting person i’ve ever met and your mind is the most beautiful thing. i’m so glad you shared your 3am thoughts with me, and it’s a shame that i won’t be hearing any more of them. i’m glad you shared your hopes and dreams for the future with me, and it’s a shame that i’m not a part of those dreams anymore. i’m glad i spent the majority of my year with you, and it’s a shame that our time together has been cut short. i’m glad i had the opportunity to be yours, and it’s a shame that i’ll be replaced soon, with someone better for you. i’m glad i got to hear your voice, and it’s a shame that i haven’t heard from you since the night you said goodbye. i’m glad i had the chance to sleep beside you, and it’s a shame that the left side of my bed is now empty (i still keep your pillow there, in case you change your mind). i’m glad you used to dance in my thoughts and in my dreams, it’s a shame that i can’t think or sleep anymore. i’m glad i could make you happy, glad i could make you smile and laugh, and it’s a shame that someone else is going to enjoy that view from now on. i’m just glad i had the chance to meet you, to love and be loved by you, to explore you. it truly is a shame that it’s over now, but please know that i loved you more than i have ever loved anyone or anything and i am still in love with you. i don’t think i can shake these feelings as easily as you could, and i’m sorry i couldn’t be what you wanted, i’m sorry this didn’t work as we had hoped, i’m sorry for loving you as much as i did. i’m sorry.

things i’ve been dying to say to you since you left, pt.3 (via depressants)

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Depression is being afraid of happiness because as soon as you're happy you start to feel uncomfortable because you're used to the emtiness inside your chest, to the numbness. And it doesn't feel right to be happy for a second. And you know that happiness can be dangerous because after happiness comes pain and it will hurt even more to to be sad again. So you start to realize that it isn't all worth it and so you fall into this dark hole. You're afraid of the unknown, afraid of changes. You want to be happy again but it's too frightening. And you know that depression will always be there because happiness is so hard to find. Depression is your only friend, it'll always be by your side, it starts to feel like home. Well home sweet hole. And then you realize that there is no more going back, it can never be the same because all you'll ever need is the void. And you can never crawl back out from this hole.

#home sweet hole