Things that Amuse Me

death to the mechanisms! if you intend to go to Indy Pop Con this August… perhaps you could walk away with a Mechs print… wouldn’t that be wild

he’s going places

[image: painting of a big round poofy pigeon taking a walk]

Your sense of self isn’t a static image, bro. It’s more like a climate or a biome. Both of which can shift in gradual ways over time or suddenly due to internal or external factors. Just check the weather report, man. Don’t try to force the sky to stay blue without clouds 24/7.

all i do rn is think about the locked tomb! thinking about john and the scope of his powers:

pre-apocalypse, john marries nigella and cassiopeia, and he makes roses grow for them. and yes! some of the roses have teeth, but it does seem in the narrative that this is the first time he'd tried it. but only some. some of the roses therefore are normal roses.

john can use his powers to grow things, and he didn't even try before literally his last day on earth! or everyone else's last day on earth, more correctly.

at the beginning of the dream narration in ntn, he raises the mountain from the waters and says the only hard thing about it is remembering he can do it in the first place. so there's all this evidence in ntn that his powers aren't limited to necromancy - that's just seems to be what he stumbled across first. he was working with dead people, so dead people are what he noticed.

when alecto gave john his power, i think she never intended* for them to be 'death' powers. i think they presented that way because the source of the power was dying - think about the seventh and their theory that they can harness the thanergy being shed by a dying person. the power looked like death-power because it came from a dying source. but it's just power, in the end, it's just soul.

but john assumed. he was so caught up in his own grief, so overwhelmed, that he doesn't even consider being 'a good wizard,' as pyrrha puts it (pre-apocalypse). his friends ask him to try to stabilise the north american glacier, reference other ecological disasters - and he doesn't try! he's assumed he's there for vengeance and stuck with it. and then we see in the book that he could have. like, it's entirely possible that john could have let the trillionaires go - and then saved the planet. practiced until the roses grew normally. raised the soil above the waters, calmed the seas.

but he can't let go of his wants, his desires! and yes, he's not as powerful before he consumes part of a's soul, but his necromancy got stronger and stronger anyway - maybe his power over the roses could have too.

anyway just imagine alecto, giving someone that loves her this unimaginable power, and hoping for a nurse, a gardener - and getting a taxidermist instead. a puppeteer.

*intended is a weird word to use for alecto pre-barbification, but i couldn't think of another way to put it

the satan: oh foolish mortal...i greet you, to reveal your desires unto you! me: ok hey what's up the satan: i have decided to test you, to-day, to discern your commitment to The Good me: sounds great! so, do i have to reject a kingdom of glory and riches or refuse to jump off a building and make God save me or— the satan: oh no none of that. this'll be much simpler. i am going to present you with a series of ethical situations! ahahaha! me: oh sweet i think about these all the time the satan: perfect...it is time for The First Situation! now, picture a city that is so perfect, everyone is happy and no one is ever sad and there's cakes and festivals and orgies and— me: is this Omelas the satan: me: like this is just gonna be the Le Guin story with the kid in the basement right the satan: ...yeah. ok so there's the kid and the basement and there's the torture, ok yeah you know this one. right. so anyway...you have just learned about the kid being tortured in the basement. what is your judgement here? me: well uh, i guess i walk away the satan: aha but i didn't ask you what you'd do, did i? me: oh come on you tricky little fuck. ok. yeah this situation sucks the satan: and why, pray tell, do you say that is, despite all the happiness and nonsadness and cakes and festivals and orgies and whatnot? me: i suppose it's just that none of that shit justifies torturing a kid in a basement forever. also all that shit sounds kinda gay when you put it like that. like some weird Dutch fag shit the satan: ah. well, moving on, you whimsy-hating homophobe— me: what, just because i say that sounds like Dutch fag shit makes me homophobic? i'm gay you know i can call shit fag shit if i want the satan: —moving on, you would agree with the statement that whatever the consequence, it is inherently wrong to torture a child, hmm? me: well yeah that sounds about right the satan: aha...! me: wait why'd you make that noise the satan: wh-what me: that clicking noise. that was you right the satan: oh no no noise of things clicking into place emanated from my nostrils me: you worded that pretty weirdly, you know the satan: it's time for The Second Situation! you have cro— me: damn you just straight up evaded what i was saying the satan: —you have crossed The First Situation, i was saying, so now it is time for round two. ahem. now, firstly, would you agree that, in general, lying and stealing and cheating are bad? me: well, yeah. i don't like lying, and in general it seems pretty fucked up to cheat and steal the satan: so now you have come across a man in the street who is starving and wounded. after one hour he will die if he is not fed and treated for his wound. there is a store nearby but you are flat broke and have no pocket money, and begging isn't an option. even if you ask your friends to PayPal you they will not be able to get back to you for another two hours. the ER is too far away and there's too much traffic for an ambulance to arrive and take him there in less than an hour and a half, but there is a clinic nearby able to take anyone immediately. however the clinic only accepts people with insurance, and neither of you have an insurance card. you are, however, fairly confident that you can make up fake details that they would be willing to accept. me: what are you trying to write a Jacobin article or something. i'm already a socialist, you don't need to lay out how fucked up our healthcare system or whatnot is, i already know— the satan: okok sure this would never happen under socialism blahblahblah the point is what would you do in this situation me: but in the last one the point was my judgement not what i do. this is getting confusing the satan: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS HAVE DIFFERENT RULES OK?? GOD JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW God: OH HEY SATAN DID YOU JUST CALL UPON ME the satan: HOLD ON I'M STILL TESTING THIS GUY GIVE ME A SECOND God: OH OK THAT'S YOUR JOB AFTER ALL. I SHALL LEAVE YOU TO IT. JUST DON'T BE TOO MEAN

the satan: FUCK. ok. ok. anyway here's the question. assuming you're also relatively confident you can shoplift without getting caught, do you steal a couple things from the store for the man to eat and do you present fake information to the clinic to get them to accept the guy and treat his wound me: yeah totally. i don't want him to die or anything. i'd gladly do just about anything to save someone's life the satan: so in other words, doing bad things like lying, stealing, and cheating in order to accomplish a good thing such as saving a life is good, right? me: sure, i'd say so the satan: AAAAAHH-HAA! i have TRAPPED you! for your response to the first situation implies that good inheres in the act itself, regardless of consequences, and your response to the second implies that good inheres in the consequences of an act, regardless of the means!

me: i mean...not necessarily? like— the satan: wh-what do you mean, mortal me: well, perhaps i think the negative consequences of torture for the child far outweigh the positive consequences for everyone else the satan: what the fuck is that you're doing me: oh i mean you're doing red text, i figure i do blue text, i figure this is like an Umineko thing or whatever the satan: fine. sure. you can do that. whatever. none of this matters to me. why did i pick this fucking job in the first place me: the satan: ...ok, the townspeople get far more happiness than the kid gets suffering me: but what if suffering itself is worth more in moral accounting than happiness, for instance the satan: then how about this? in the second example, you could have caused the shop to shut down due to lost trust with the distributor! you could have caused the clinic to lose their licence over insurance fraud! those could have easily caused far more suffering than if the man simply passed out and died after an hour! me: that's...that sounds far-fetched, but you said it in red, so. ok what if good actually inheres in the character of the person doing the act, so a virtuous person would refuse to sanction torturing a child for the greater good and gladly steal and cheat to save a man's life the satan: virtue ethics is unable to provide actionable guidance! me: oh? the satan: all you can do is imagine what a virtuous person would do, and different people have wildly different imaginations! me: well hmm. that's fair. i'm not sure i could personally live with that, especially in an age where we're getting ever closer to potentially misaligned AI. what if there's rules that say you must never do some things but then other rules can be broken if there's something more important the satan: if those rules exist, then list them off and justify them to me >: ) me: uh, don't torture, don't rape...don't kill is up there, but what if you're killing someone to defend someone else...wait fuck no, what about bombing civilians to end a war, that doesn't sound justifiable at all...god damn it... God: OH HELLO YES I'M BACK the satan: NO FUCK NO WAIT NO God: HELLO DEAR SWEET MORTAL CHILD. IS MY EMPLOYEE BEING TOO HARD ON YOU? OH DEAR I CAN GIVE YOU AN ANSWER IF THIS IS GOING TOO POORLY the satan: oh come on please just let me do my job like normal God: MY DEAR LITTLE CREATURE I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU CAN SIMPLY RELY ON MY EDICT AND ALL THESE DILEMMAS BECOME AS DUST IN THE BROOM OF AN OLD FAT LADY me: why thank you, my Lord, but no matter how perfect You are, it remains that divine command theory is a fundamentally subjectivist theory that cannot provide a truly objective and impersonal basis for ethics, and subjective morality is not a risk i'm really willing to take God: BUT AREN'T I PERFECT FOR YOU AND ALL THINGS MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CREATION me: why, yes, but there's a small but persistent chance You're a figment of my imagination, just like the satan over here, and— the satan: hhHHEYYY NOW me: —and i know that You love righteousness, so really i'd rather continue pleasing You even if You weren't around to tell me what righteousness is God: WHY THAT IS VERY SWEET OF YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST GOING TO STRAIGHT UP LIFT YOU TO HEAVEN LIKE THAT MERRY OLD FELLOW FAUST me: wait huh the satan: w-wait Lord don't you think you're being a bit hasty in judgement a chorus of angels: [grabbing me and lifting me into the aether] ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*HE WHO STRIVES ON AND LIVES TO STRIVE CAN EARN REDEMPTION STILL*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ me: [rapidly disappearing into the sky, utterly bewildered] wait. hold on. hold up. wait,

(chuckle)

He’s the SWORD GUARDIAN, GUARDIAN of the INVENTORY.

Read more Crow Time here.

Someone made Felonies Georg into a graphic. Bless.

The average US president has been charged with 2 felonies now, thanks to Trump | Business Insider India

Can't believe Szeth kills a king who dies giving him a magic sphere and mumbling some very cryptic stuff to tell his brother and he just... writes it down with his blood and leaves. Puts the magic sphere in a cave somewhere and forgets about it. Can't remember the very important very mysterious names the king mentioned before dying. Was sitting on top of the Magic city everyone is looking for before anyone found it and it's just never brought up again. Gets a strange bloodthirsty magic sword that could destroy anything and sucks on his soul everytime he draws it and just starts calling it "sword-nimi" and having conversations with it. He's really Just Some guy

My favourite thing about the D&D movie is it never stops trying to be a D&D movie even down to the most minute, unsung details. There's initiative order gags (I'll go last!) there's rolling a 1 gags (setting off the trap on the bridge by inexplicably just walking up to it) there's stat gags (nobody had high enough Intelligence to be in danger from the Intellect Devourers). Almost every spell is identifiable, from Xenk using smite to Sofina whipping out Finger of Death. Simon's character arc is about his self-confidence being tied to his mastery of magic because Charisma is the spellcasting stat for sorcerers. The era of movies based on games being afraid of their source material is over.

And the second best thing about it is that none of this makes it inaccessible to newbies who have never played the game, it works great as a pulp fantasy story, with a truly great mix of genuine character moments and humor. It takes the subject matter seriously but also embraces the absurdity of living in a world where a cat could fall down your chimney then turn into a young woman and walk out your front door.

Page Keladry of Mindelan

copper my beloved

rose gold, brass, bronze, what cant she do

beautiful base colour, beautiful patina, and it mixes to make beautiful alloys. 10/10 best metal.

she also makes up so much of your wiring, she’s a working gal too.

what CANT she do

Don’t forget about the most beautiful blue made by copper sulfate!!

my absolute FAVOURITE comments on this post are ones like this.

where they just add on something ELSE that copper does. it’s great.

When you need to work in an atmosphere where a stray spark could cause an explosion, you switch out your steel tools for copper alloys since it conducts heat much better and thus won’t spark easy.

So when Tumblr user @mono-red-menace​ hypes up copper, it’s a 60k-note banger, but when I, Ea-nasir,

found back this thing from 2021

I love that this is read in a perfect Pinky & the Brain voice

gold light shining

#sometimes the dick move is the ethical move

People acting like Kiriona Gaia was way too mean to be Gideon are so funny to me. GtN Gideon thought Ortus' mom having a breakdown over the possibility of losing her only son was peak entertainment