Punching problems in the face

It becomes very very evident when an author has never interacted with small children before. PLEASE stop writing 4 year olds with baby voices, I promise you they do not answer in short sentences the way a baby might. They can and Will start monologing

#i have read supervillain speeches less verbose than some 4 y.o. who just learned 60 turtle fun facts#please understand#1 y.o. = single words#2 y.o. = phrases/frustration with being misunderstood#3 y.o. = you will understand if this child has to suffocate you by using all oxygen in the room to explain#4 y.o. = probably not necessary to use all O2 for you to 100% understand their point. but they saw a bug and the world must know.#5 to 10 y.o. = keep that 4 y.o. enthusiasm. then add sass. vocab. and begin the sarcasm skill tree.

via prev

A fully grown adult commented on that reddit post of "My cat got upset when my girlfriend spanked me" with "maybe you weirdos shouldn't be physically harming your partners" and I'm losing my shit adfklhsglk

The first time My cat saw me getting smacked around during sex, he did Not defend me, but instead jumped onto the bed and slapped me in the face so he could be on the winning team

Okay first of all how dare you make me laugh when I have pneumonia

the real secret to zuko's redemption arc is the month he spent working in public food service

@combat-epistemologist and i are watching laura kampf's youtube series where she works on her house and we started with, like, the last 5 episodes (because i've been following it for a while and that's where i left off) and are now starting from the beginning

and for those of you who are not acquainted, the deal with this house is that it turned out to have, just. everything wrong with it. FULL of The Horrors. so it's funny but also kind of depressing to go back to the beginning of the series where she's like "i hope we find good timbers in these walls!! ^_^" "ooh check out the original hardwood floors!" and then as time goes on it's like. "asbestos?" "termite horror" "water damage"

as @combat-epistemologist said, "i look forward to seeing the light leave this woman's eyes"

half a dozen videos in. this seems about right.

Thanks @gender-trash for posting about this series! It's insane.

I'm 18 videos in and this house's problems have escalated to the point of replacing almost every exterior structural beam in the entire first floor. Literally some house of theseus shit.

And yet: There are forty-three videos in this series! How much more can go wrong!

@thebibliosphere

How much more can go wrong!

Speaking from weary "the previous owner was a landlord" experience a lot.

I don't think anyone appreciates how funny Pope Franics actually is. Imagine being elected to the head of an over the top bad guy organization that would make you the final boss of a jrpg, and you spend your entire time there sitting around and saying things like "maybe we should reconsider our 'people dying is good' policy. I'm not saying we should reverse the 'people dying is good' policy, it's been our policy for thousands of years after all, but maybe we should, oh I don't know. Reconsider it." And every time you do so it causes half of a major world religion to get so pissed off that it almost causes a religious schism

In light of his recent decision, I'd like to let all the tradcaths know this: your entire religion is based around the idea that this guy is god's main man on earth. If you disagree with the pope, that makes you a protestant lol

(tags via @jungwildandfree)

Must save food provider

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A LOT of "inflation" is actually corporations taking advantage of "inflation" to hide profiteering.

Chaos entity Gritty paid a visit to the Philadelphia Zoo, animals seem to have accepted him as one of their own

I have never seen a series or film where two characters share a first name but this happens all the time in real life.

It’s called Heathers and it doesn’t end well.

Also Henry IV

Worked out ok in Persuasion, but they admittedly changed the name in at least the 1999 adaptation (Cousin Henry instead of Cousin Charles, so that he would not be confused with a different Cousin Charles).

Stitched this screamy boi for a friend’s birthday. I’ll never work with Sulky metallic threads again 😆 by tdgonex

panicked fruit.

[ID: A tweet from @/ellle_em that reads,

"Your Kentucky Derby horse name is:

A symptom of one of your mental illnesses + the last thing you ate" End ID.] ID by @bevtoegolds

The writer and critic AS Byatt, who explored family, myth and narrative in a career spanning six decades, has died aged 87. Her publisher Chatto & Windus confirmed that she died peacefully at home surrounded by close family.

Dame Antonia Susan Duffy, who wrote under the name AS Byatt, authored complex and critically acclaimed novels, including the Booker prize-winning Possession and her examination of artistic creation, The Children’s Book. Over her career, she won a swathe of literary awards, from the Booker to a Chevalier of France’s Order of Arts and Letters.

“We mourn her loss but it’s a comfort to know that her penetrating works will dazzle, shine and refract in the minds of readers for generations to come,” said her publisher Clara Farmer.

books I’ve read in 2022 📖 no. 137

Possession: a Romance by A.S. Byatt

Sweater Pattern // Wool Barrow Yarns

I'm so happy to announce that my DIY koi lanterns are available now on YuumeiArt.com/shop

Build your very glowing koi and bring magic to your home. Choose from 8 metallic colors and 2 fin types, pair with RGB LEDs for an infinite display of colors :)

The unique design allows the koi to be posable, you can bend the fish in any direction and make it swim like a real fish.

Hang your koi anywhere

Or have a beautiful tabletop display

Decorate your koi with metallic markers to customize it to your imagination

Bring home your koi today

Do you ever like physically feel yourself pass your mental breaking point and then all you can think is “oh these next few days are going to be interesting”

Like you’re just sitting there silently and on the outside you seem fine and gathered but in your head you’re like “oh this is gonna hit me like a train any second”

2020 to present, fairly often honestly

“Public libraries are such important, lovely places!” Yes but do you GO there. Do you STUDY there. Do you meet friends and get coffee there. Do you borrow the FREE, ZERO SUBSCRIPTION, ZERO TRACKING books, audiobooks, ebooks, and films. Have you checked out their events and schemes. Do you sign up for the low cost courses in ASL or knitting or programming or writing your CV that they probably run. Do you know they probably have myriad of schemes to help low income families. Do you hire their low cost rooms if you need them. Have you joined their social groups. Do you use the FREE COMPUTERS. Do you even know what your library is trying to offer you. Listen, the library shouldn’t just exist for you as a nice idea. That’s why more libraries shut every year

If this post persuades even one person to get a free library account and use it, my time on this hellsite will not have been spent in vain

Certified Library Post

I'm stealing this from Twitter

Here's the link

I am a high-definition gateway drug body double!

A cyberculture oppo brain attack?

3D printed flip phone adblocker

SSRI bestie NPC

I'm a cringey internet jumpscare :D

Beatboxing cyberspace designated driver

Gonna need to put "gut-wrenching veto-proof wafflestomper" on my business card.

Punk-rock radical chic migraineur

I'm a deep learning cocooning portobello.