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idk tbh

@intoxicateddreamsx-blog

fucked around and got attached to you
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ink-trails
I’ve stumbled through life so far but I’ve done a lot of learning. I wouldn’t go back, I think you need to fall where I have to know the things that I do now. But if I had to spare you the heartbreak, if I wished I could do things differently, I would tell you to stop worrying about love. Stop trying to find reasons to wake up in the morning in people who only see it as routine. Stop pinning yourself to a black wall, a future of dense nothingness, a promise of abysmal loneliness because that is not where you are headed. Your life does not depend on a romantic partner. Love means a lot, but it isn’t a diamond– you can find it in dad’s soup whenever he has time to make it, in your best friend’s hand-delivered tissues and cupcakes when you thought you could never show face again, in your dog’s faultless loyalty, even after you forgot to feed him that one time– you have love in every facet of your life, you are not doomed just because you haven’t found it in a kiss or a bed or a ring. Stop throwing yourself in bad situations to fall in love. I know that you want to make something out of the stranger who comforts you on the train when you have come back from your hundredth broken heart. I know that you want to pick roses out of the garden in your chest and give them to the girl with lighting in her eyes and the whole sky in her hands. I know that you want to tell him you love him again, even after he cut his words into your skin and made you tell him all the reasons why you bleed. But the love you are searching for is not going to save you. It might make you full after a day of exhausting your entire being, it might warm you when you are alone under a blanket, it might make you feel like you have someone to hand everything to– but that is not the point of your life. Your body, your heart, your soul, everything that you are and will ever be was not given to you to pawn away for someone who’s love has an expiration date. You don’t have to look for them– they are everywhere. Some day, the love that you could never look for will find you on its own. Right now, don’t let it be the most important thing. Because you owe it to yourself to know that you are okay without it, but that you will some day have it, and all you have to do is let it happen.

A letter to the me who cast her heart out on a line into shark-infested waters (via ink-trails)