Source: vanish
loveserum-deactivated20191021
1. Let’s take a shower together with the lights off. Let’s leave our insecurities in the brightness.
2. I like the way you look at me when you’re laughing. I like the way you know it’s my favorite sound.
3. Let me wear your sweater. Let me sit in your bed and listen to you tell me about how you were as a kid.
4. I like the way you talk about all the people before me like they didn’t come close. I like the way you make me feel like the only one who has ever had a chance.
5. I know forever is a shot in the dark, and love is fleeting and people are cynical and sometimes shit happens, but listen. I want to be that one shot in the dark. I want it to be us in the end. I want to be the story people tell in thirty years because no one fucking believed that we’d make it.
Let’s Make It. // Love Thoughts, Pt. 1 (via loveserum
loveserum-deactivated20191021
When people ask about you the only thing I know how to say anymore is that there was no fucking cure
you were the disease and I was the body you infected
Because listen
Your love came into my system like a needed vaccine. Like an answer to all of the problems. So I welcomed you into my blood, my proteins, into my fucking atoms. I let you in on a molecular level. You felt like heaven to a body that had only ever known hell. But I can’t put into words how wrong I was about you because dear God, you fucked me up. You turned into a virus you invaded all of my goodness you weren’t a vaccine you were the disease and I was just trying to fight it. You’re the infection and my immune system didn’t fucking realize it because it welcomed you in like you deserved to be there. Like you belonged as a part of me.
But you were poison you were turning my blood purple you were turning my head inside out I felt like my brain didn’t want to be a part of me anymore. Like you hit it with the most wonderful kinds of drugs with bursts of dopamine and serotonin but the oxytocin and love from every fucking angle doesn’t help if you just rip them away. You took my heart away you took the love from my brain and you sucked darkness into every part of my system. So now all I’ve got left is a broken heart and the remains of a broken down infection.
Heartbreak Syndrome (via loveserum)
You are hard to let go.
I’ve outnumbered the vices I can scratch out of my skin, but I still talk to the moments in the mirror like they can change the view. We are the chemical imbalance always reaching for an equilibrium of peace straining the echos who who I can never be. You ask for all of me, but the world doesn’t care if it swallows another name at night. I’ve used all my strength on spreading tears over hearts that have smiled for another. Held hands that have kept pinkies in stories long closed. Watched eyes love the descent of a birds wing, yet nothing accumulates faster than the grit under my tongue than trying to find which ghost of myself I hated the least. I say I love you like I know the weight of an unshed tear. Like I know home is something we’ve built out of silences glued between hearts you’ve tried to fix. And the silence is something we’re supposed to understand because we’re taught that if you say something loud enough, maybe it will come true. Maybe we’re dreamers who haven’t woken up yet, but my reality rings truer every day -
I only know how to break.
(via blackmagicpoetry)
You are easy to love.
– I’ve come to the realization that without you, I’ll be better. Loving you was easy, unloving you was not. I’ve come to swearing off the cracks of my heart, fuck, bring me back to the beginning because this ending just sounds like our hellos, strangers bending each other into a centerfold piece of dinner kitchen tables, we’ve been throwing glass at our feet and asking if tiptoeing hurts. I’ve been placing you so high, the mountains wanted to join in, so I let the clouds do their whispering, blow your kisses into my wind, rain down a parade of when things start to be a poem I’ll enjoy writing– become something more than more lost time, become something that’s much less yours and more so mine– I’ve been meaning to bend my branches to ask the leaves, do you turn red for passion or is it the fall? Do you remember me at all? I still want to press your number, but some phone calls lead to more heartache, some numbers we can’t forget. I’ve been texting you about my zero regrets. My first would be kissing you, the last starts to sound like I’m missing you again. You don’t get to fall in love with just anyone, you can only fall in love with that someone– the someone who changes your autumns into spring, a reversal amongst seasons– the crows sing about life, the flowers are dying once again– we’re just melting and melting, we’re just asking for nothing but nevermore forever into the next always I’ll always count you into my blessings– I’ll always ask for your lips if my heart is involved, do you love me or was it all pretend? Did you love us or the sin? Did you want us or did you need us? Most days, I just go with the pretend. I’ve been pretending that I don’t miss you. I’ve been pretending that I don’t need you. I’ve been pretending that I don’t want you. I’ve been pretending that I knew your intentions all along. I guess this just means one thing–
I only love with chaos on my lips and poison down my throat.
(via poetryleftbyher)
I know that I promised you over a thousand times that you’ll never hear from me again
but sometimes people drink when they know that they’re not supposed too
and sometimes people lie and say that they are okay when in reality they know that they are breaking inside
and what I’m trying to say is that you hurt me, maybe by far the most hurt I have ever felt when it came down to loving someone
and I know that you don’t care because your hands are on her now but while you’re kissing her and whispering in her ear about how she’ll be the only one for you like you did with me,
i hope for a tiny fraction in that moment your heart aches and your hands shake as my laugh rings through your ears
and i hope you feel guilty,
for leaving,
for loving someone else
for promising me a future that you knew all along would never happen
and i know that i promised you over a thousand times that you’ll never hear from me again
but sometimes people leave even when they promised that they won’t
and sometimes people kiss others behind their lovers back even when they know that it’s wrong
and i hope to everything
you wake up one morning
and realize that hurting me
was your biggest regret yet.
A.M.// promise you won’t hear from me again (via tullipsink)