if you choose to believe that in hobbit culture fat = sexy then when Gollum called Sam a ‘stupid fat hobbit’ from Sam’s perspective he was basically being called a himbo.
what gollum said: stupid fat hobbit
what gollum meant: ur ugly and stupid
what sam heard: you’re a hottie but you’re dumb as shit
sam:
guys Gollum used to be a hobbit…he was shooting his shot
just went to hooters , did not see a single owl. absolutely fuming
Midnight thoughts (I’m burnt out)
whoever came up with strapping a dagger to your upper thigh knew exactly what they were doing. they weren’t thinking about self defence.
View of the Austrian Alps from Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany
Bilbo: wait I get it now. The dragon is a metaphor for greed and power. We need to ‘defeat’ it by being humble when we get the treasure.
Thorin: Bilbo, for the last time, it’s a real dragon and it has my gold
It’s living in my house, Bilbo
being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are
my cells govern themselves, I’m mostly just a figurehead
my body is a constitutional monarchy and i am its powerless queen
This is why exercising is so awful, because it’s basically taxation without representation.
Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.
tumblr flagged a post of a girl eating berries so fruit is for whores now reblog if youre a fruit eating whore
i want to live in a lighthouse and write books for a living and dress only in mossy colored sweaters and grow mushrooms and thyme and tomatoes and lavender in a little garden surrounded by a little yellow fence
here’s an idea: you stay at my place, we watch movies and make out and in the morning I make you pancakes
