my university having the dracula daily guy as a guest speaker is so funny

king

people get specific as they age

:O

me and the mutuals discussing themes and motifs

when programs fucking autocorrect <3 to ❤️ and :) to 😃,,,, do you have any idea what you’ve just done?? what you just fucking destroyed ?

A) It's irritating when systems turn lovely ascii art into crude little pictograms, and

😎 It's even more frustrating when you weren't actually trying to make an emoji.

TIL in 1915, San Diego hired a “rain maker” who used a secret mix of chemicals to “attract rain” for $10,000, payable if he filled their reservoir. It rained for most of January, destroying bridges, dams, and causing 20 deaths.

via reddit.com

that was the Devil

I mean they wanted rain

His name was Charles Hatfield and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make a deal with him, but I am saying that you should be very clear about the terms and conditions

I think we need to fully appreciate the fact that the reason he “looks like the Devil” is that many depictions of the Devil in American popular media are specifically caricatures of this guy. Like, imagine being a con man and fucking up your hustle so badly that for more than a century afterwards people start drawing the Devil to look like you.

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

I Am So Fucking Tired

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

I actually wasn't that far off you guys

HOLY SHIT THE POST IS SAVED

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

mustelids are the best animal because they are fucking brutally efficient predators but they're also just absurdly cute

me when i fucking get you

Amazon is being sued by the FTC and 17 states for being an illegal monopoly

hi hey please talk about this as much as you can constantly over time

so often i've seen big-ass Stupid Bullshit News about Stupid Bullshit become absolutely nothing after like 3 days. i'm so fucking tired of it because it means that nothing changes, since we've forgotten what we need to change.

now amazon is getting sued. awesome! this is the first time i've heard of it. the suit was filed presumably somewhere between a few hours and a day ago, so that's understandable.

is this really, really going to be covered after, i dunno, three days? i honestly don't reckon so. amazon has enough money and probably apathy to make this not as much of an important lawsuit as it should - and maybe could - be.

i would love to be reminded every day for weeks and then months that amazon is being sued for operating an illegal monopoly. i want to read every joke, hear every update, see every move that's made until this shit is wrapped up. i don't just want to operate on hope and, inversely, a lack of faith on this one.

i want my anger over the way things are run to be grounded in things happening right here and right now, instead of historical events that make you go "that sucks. can't change the past! :)" and move on, because that changes nothing in the present or the future. please talk about amazon getting sued by the federal trade commission and 17 state attourneys-general for breaking antitrust laws by being an illegal monopoly.

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

gave my cat a bath the other day and

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad

thinking about that kakapo egg that got crushed but the conservation team patched it up and it survived

life will persist against all odds

For those who don’t follow kakapo conservation, they are critically endangered parrots who only breed on years where the rimu tree they rely on meet a certain threshold of fruit production. One breeding season in 4 years can be typical, and about half of all eggs laid by kakapo are infertile (they still aren’t completely certain why, it could be a recent population bottleneck) so each fertile egg is worth its weight in gold.

This was one of only 5 fertile eggs laid on the Whenua Hou island population in the 2014 breeding season and it got crushed by its mother on accident. It was mended with glue and tape and incubated by the rangers until hatching.

At 150 days old kakapo chicks are officially added to the population total and given a unique name, until then they are given their mother’s name and a number for birth order laid in the clutch. This chick was known as Lisa-one before officially being given the name Ruapuke by local indigenous Ngai Tahu people.Here he is grown up:

It’s sad when a species is so rare we know them all individually but at the same time I love that you can point at this one bird and say oh that’s Ruapuke, his mom sat on him too hard

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

(I bring a sort of “Everyone has inherent worth regardless of their productivity” Vibe to every conversation that ableists don’t really seem to like)