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Using my Imagination Irresponsibly

@insomniac-arrest / insomniac-arrest.tumblr.com

She/her || 28 || US || Hey, this is my blog for my writing, fandom stuff, art, and all the weird jokes I can make. Here is MY BOOK. Beautiful icon by nuahsmep.tumblr.com and insomniac raccoon by 3dna5cissorhands

Visit worlds with mermaids trapped in zoos, floating continents that block out the sun, curses that sprout flowers from your skin, astronauts on dying spaceships, and forests haunted by hungry bog witches. Five short stories that revolve around the love between women and the fantastical world they inhabit. Sagas of a mermaid fascinated by the enclosure next to hers. A genius young woman trying to reach a stranger in the sky. A bog hag threatening to eat a princess that can’t seem to stay away from her. Astronauts conversing as one hurtles into Jupiter’s atmosphere on a doomed voyage. A woman cursed to grow flowers from her skin when kissed and the knight that promises to save her. Inspired by fairy tales, folklore, classic science fiction, and more. Love is all around us—and more magical than ever in these tales of overcoming the obstacles that keep us apart.

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It’s here. IT’S FINALLY HERE. My wlw short story collection is OUT. You can purchase at one of the sites below!

eBook 🌸 paperback 🌸 Goodreads

I commissioned @romans-art​ for the cover art. Thank you again.

🏳️‍🌈

"Humans out-competed other hominids because of tendencies toward violence and domination." Ummmm

(X, X)

Early Man be fishin' (and being eaten)

(X, X)

Wisdom of the Ancestors like: if you have a rival, have you considered kissing them?

The idea of a movie scene where I character contacts their ancestors for insight into battle strategies and the path to victory and The Primordial Ghost From the Beginning of Time is just like, what do you mean you haven't tried seduction yet??

Enemies to lovers is an anthropology documentary

Don’t Follow the Footsteps

There’s footsteps in the hallway. One soft shuffle after the other, padding across the carpet and down the stairs. They aren’t very loud, only last for a few minutes, but I can hear the floorboards creaking and the whisper of weight on each step.

Someone is pacing. Someone is moving in the dark.

I don’t know who lived here before me. I used to try and call up the last owners or find an emailing address or information online, but every phone call ended in a disconnected mailbox. No one ever tried to contact me back.

Before that I would wake my boyfriend up with a sharp shake and a hiss in his ear to call the police. We’d go inspect every inch of the house with a baseball bat at the ready and the cops on hold. We wouldn’t find anything.

It would only be more empty rooms and silent halls and my boyfriend eyeing me warily when he didn’t think I was looking.

Once I placed a string with a bell on it across the hall, and waited to hear it go off in the night. It never did ring. All I heard were those steady steps going down, down the hall and down the stairs. Pacing.

Brody is gone now. We never could make it work after I noticed that first look. I’m selling the house in less than a week. I don’t mention the footsteps or the creaks or the fact the faucet will sometimes turn on without me touching it.

I have one last week left to endure it.

Creak, something moves in the hallway.

I squint my eyes open and I glance toward the clock. It was 1am.

Creak, creak, creak

Something moves in the hall.

“Enough!” I spit between clenched teeth and shove my quilt down. It didn’t matter that Brody wasn’t there. I hadn’t slept well in weeks. I picked up our baseball bat and stomped toward the door. “I’m not afraid of you!”

I huff, red-faced, but when I swing the bedroom door open the hallway is as it has always been. Empty. Sound of footsteps gone. 

“Ugh.” I groan and lean my head back. And then I hear it: the steps are almost down the stairs and to the front door. “Not this time!”

My bare feet prickle as I launch myself at the stairs and take them two at a time with a study thud, thud, thud, my own steps so much louder in the night.

When I make it downstairs the front door is open.

I growl and with a battle cry launch myself out onto the lawn. I turn left and right and spin around in circles, but the grass and sidewalk and driveway are nothing but stiff backdrops bathed in moonlight. Nothing is there. I pull at my hair. “I can’t believe I’m going crazy! Like this!” I’m about to start swinging my bat wildly into the empty air when I hear it again: a creak. From the top of the stairs.

I turn around swiftly and stare at the house. And for a moment I think my eyes are playing tricks on me.

The two front windows on the second story are dark as velvet. Dark except for a moment, just a moment, a single prick of light in each one. Two lights, both focused on me.

You know, there’s this belief about ghosts that they are human-shaped. Like memories. Faded photographs of the people they were before. And maybe some of them are. Maybe some of them remember the body they died in.

But why should the soul restrict itself to humanity? I look at the house. And it looks back at me. It’s eyes dark with pupils white as stars in the center.

I blink and the eyes are gone but the curtains are fluttering inward. The door is hanging slightly more open. The shadows are gently and ever so slightly waving me back in.

I turn on my heel and walk down the street without looking back. I don’t stay in that house another night before I move out the next week.

I leave a note for the next family: don’t follow the footsteps. 

But I’m not sure they ever get it. After all, I disconnect my phone after the first call with nothing but soft creaks on the other end.

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MaleWife? GirlBoss? No. Get into the expanded universe, the side characters.

Girl Uncle antics where I tell someone to "back it up" but way too far, laugh, and then wave them back in. Possibly while wearing this shirt. Bonus, Boy Aunt lifestyle where you drink too much wine but glamorously and wearing perfume in a different tax bracket.