The Queer your mother warned you about

Indie music fans will literally be like oh yeah man you should totally listen to “my self doubt is slowly killing me and all my friends” by Penis Defibrillator it’s an absolute banger

That would be because I, quote, “made it the fuck up”

Pssh, yeah right. Nobody can 'Make the fuck up' Penis Defibrillator.

You obviously didn't look very hard.

On top of that, Penis Defibrillator was very ahead of their time and tragically overlooked by the "indie" music community, despite being brave enough to do what nobody else would do in music.

Tumblr won't let me post the whole track because of copyright, but here's the most memorable bit.

Put some respect to their fucking name.

Don’t come onto my post and be funnier than me

A woman's place is on the battlefield

so you think women should die

funny how you immediately assumed the women would lose the battle….misogynist much?

you're right i will reflect on my behavior. sorry women

Is this American or European football? Because what the fuck is either lmao

hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

Truly one of the sentences of all time. Wetpilled denimmaxer

i just know that the ethics classes in magical fantasy realms would be off the rails

philosophy undergrads when an evil wizard invents another new way to torture people

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

How does it feel to be the most correct person to have ever drawn breath on planet earth?

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

things i’ll call you a whore for:

why are lemons separate from food op?

everyone knows lemons arent food

lemon stealing whores are a huge issue separate from food stealing whores. there’s a whole documentary about whores stealing lemons from the trees of unsuspecting victims. you can see the first two minutes of it here.

Thats a rickroll. That totally is a fucking rickroll. No fukin way. Not falling for it.

dude, trust me, that isn’t a rick roll. its something worse

Me to the rest of tumblr after actually watching what was in the link:

…I really don’t know what I was expecting.

What the fuck did i just watch.

It- it’s not a Rick roll

Have we really reached a time when the Lemon Stealing Whores are no longer common knowledge.

I'm getting so pissed with people who are saying Gwen isnt trans. Like they're trying to explain why her dad has a trans patch on his jacket and why she has a trans flag in her room, by saying she supports trans people... wtf???? Literally what ally has a TRANS FLAG, IN THEIR ROOM, BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT TRANS PEOPLE??? That's some shit closeted me would tell my parents when they saw me drawing rainbows. People that are saying this shit are literally just transphobic and dont want her to be trans. Gwen is trans and fuck everyone that argues against that.

which one of these is the so called "american flag"

In Gwen’s universe trans people took over America and made the trans flag the national flag.

oh a TWIST

was trying to find body positivity posts for trans guys that look like me and couldn’t. so here’s a post for all the trans guys with wide hips and dad bods. you are hot, you are desirable, and you are doing great

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

when I was a kid I had an old tv in my room that would always turn to unwatchable static in the middle of shows but one night my sister and I were watching Naruto & every time Kakashi was on-screen the static cleared so we were like “hahaha the tv looooves Kakashi.”

I had a Kakashi bookmark so we held it up against the screen as a joke but the static actually cleared up. Mystified, we tried different bookmarks and objects with the same plastic material but nothing else worked, only the Kakashi bookmark.

We ended up taping it to the corner of the screen and it stayed there for 11 years until we moved out. When I was older people would be like “can you move the bookmark off the screen” bc it did sort of block a bit of the view but I would demonstrate the static issue and everyone was always just like “huh. what the hell?? well…alright.”

No explanation, but thanks Kakashi.