Do you ever start telling your parents a funny story but then you remember what happened was illegal
so, today this girl in my class asked what the word procrastination meant and i said ‘can i explain that later?’ and my teacher laughed for like five minutes and when he stopped the girl whispered ’ i don’t get it’
modestmgmtofficial
identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat down and started taking notes. the next day steve came in and was like did u guys see my brother jake yesterday lmao we switched schools
you think you’re ok until you’re up at 3am crying about everything and nothing all at once
(via yyxexybkx)
Do you ever get told you’re really attractive and start to think maybe you’re more attractive than you think but then you see a picture of yourself someone else took and you like oooh shit i’m worse than i thought
as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them
My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing.
Jillian Medoff (via wordsthat-speak)
Source: wordsthat-speak
worstgrrrl-deactivated20130128
i just said hi to someone and they didn’t hear me i’m never trying that again