Mysterious

Idk

I just.. I just have way too many feelings and words bottled up inside me.. it keeps getting harder.. suppressing the feelings and holding back the things I wanna say just keeps getting harder and out of hand and I just dont know what to say or do.. I miss waking up comfortable with a light head and chest and I miss falling asleep with a smile on my face.. I miss that sigh of relieve right before I fall asleep every single night because I'm just so happy and comfy it calms me down.. I want the storm to be over.. I want everything to be okay and happy again.. I just need that deep sigh of relief and everything else that comes with it..

okay enough, can I please fast forward to the day things go back to normal and everything's okay again?

Okay so, I just realised there's a condition called synaesthesia where you might have 2 senses joined/crossed over when they're not supposed to.. you could be able to taste colors or smell sounds or hear stuff that has no sound whatsoever and it has 80 forms and honestly that sounds quite interesting.

If dreams were really a window to other parallel worlds then I know which one I wanna be visiting every single night.

people always tend to wish they could be numb when they're in pain, "it's easier to deal with, you wouldn't have to feel anything, everything will be fine for you", they say.. but have you ever intertained the idea that it also means you won't feel happiness when it comes by? (and yea "when" cause it will come by) yea, me neither.

Scenario #11*

"Oh! let's dance to this!", He says getting up and pulling you along with him.. he's only wearing his boxers and you're only wearing his t-shirt, you've both been laying in your bed for almost an hour just cuddling and listening to music when that song came on and you just couldn't resist dancing to the soft beat.. "oh come ooon", he says playfully pulling you with him as you both laugh and start moving around in your barely there clothes.. it's winter and almost noon so the sun isn't so harsh, it only casts a faded glow through the window and the lights are off.. he holds onto you and starts moving around while singing along with his eyes fixated on you which makes you blush and start laughing even more. Minutes later and the song changes into another one with a different beat and he just lets go of you and starts dancing around on his own causing you to sit down on the bed and double over in laughter at first.. but then you look at him, like really look him for a few seconds.. you look at him just moving around.. smiling and singing along as he looks at you and his smile widens causing you to smile even more.. you just spend the next few moments appreciating how perfect that moment is, how happy and carefree both of you are.. how absolutely nothing matters at this moment.. how you don't FEEL as drained or as sad or as anxious.. you admire how the color of his eyes gleam in the sunlight and how his smile is so wide and beautiful.. how you'd rather look at him forever than be doing anything else.. you just wish you could stop time and just live in this moment for eternity.. if only you could.

"I'm 19 and I'm on fire, but when we're dancing I'm alright."

I'm honestly so fucking tired of everything, just give me a fucking break.. please?

fml, and I mean it

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex