I’ve been thinking about this blog and about being inkymelon.
I’ve had this handle ever since I made my first art account on the internet, and I still hold it very dear but I feel like I need a change.
Over the past years I’ve developed such a complicated relationship with my art - I used to draw every day, it was the most important thing in my life, it was my favourite activity and kept me sane. But now that I don’t have a lot of time to draw anymore, I almost dread it, because if the outcome isn’t perfect (in my eyes) I feel like I wasted precious free time which I don’t have a lot of anymore.
Year after year I try to give myself the push to just go ahead and POST something, but every year I can't bring myself to do it. I'm too shy, and in the end I'm sure no one will care anyway. Then I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter if other people react to it, because after all I draw for myself, but I have so many ideas and sketches, and I miss sharing them with others.
Tumblr was my favourite site, I loved the format and the tagging system (remember tracking tags?) and how interacting with other users worked. Now, everything I cherished about this site has been changed for the worse, especially the NSFW ban and tag restrictions. Most artists have migrated to other sites and my dashboard is dead, so I moved to those sites too, but I don't use them at all because I hate how they work. Everything is lost in the void after a day, searching for content sucks, and fandoms are attacking and cancelling each other over ridiculous discourse.
I can't change it, I have to put up with it and adapt, but I've lost interest in really participating in fandom spaces like I used to. Instead, I want to focus on my own characters and stories, and I'll be doing that under a new name.
I haven’t thought about a new name yet but I’m not sure if I’ll completely move away from the “inky” part of my alias. Also, I’ll keep this account for posting fanart since I still draw that from time to time, and for content such as fan characters of excisting media (e.g. WoW).
I don’t know how many people will read this, or care about it, but I wanted to put it out there because it’s been eating me up for a while now.