what more can i say

I’d update my blog description but I suffer from incredible laziness. Anyways I’m not a girl anymore and I use all pronouns. Okay peace out ✌️ 

oops update. im transmasc now 

Another thing I often see from people who are anti mspec lesbian is that they think mspec lesbians/their supporters are trying to convince other lesbians to be attracted to men. And I won't say that's never happened, because people suck, so there have most likely been some people who've done that. But they are in a very small minority. I've been involved in mspec lesbian discourse for three entire years and I have never seen an mspec lesbian tell another lesbian they are or should be attracted to men. Someone else's identity says nothing about your own, but exclusionists are viewing it as a personal attack, even though mspec lesbians as a whole aren't telling other lesbians anything about their identities.

They also seem convinced that lesbian men (whether they be binary monogender men or not) are trying to force lesbians to date them. Again, I can't say this has never happened, but it doesn't happen often. Simply existing as a lesbian does not mean or imply that other lesbians have to be attracted to you, or even should be attracted to you.

If someone says "hey, I'm a lesbian," and someone else says "cool, I'm also a lesbian," it would be ridiculous to say that the second person is pressuring the first person into being attracted to them.

And if the first person isn't attracted to the second, that doesn't mean they can't identify as a lesbian. Some lesbians aren't into nonbinary people- that doesn't mean nonbinary lesbians aren't allowed. So just because lesbians usually aren't into trans men, doesn't mean trans men aren't allowed to be lesbians.

we really went from "women and girls can do anything" to im just a girl i only do girl math im a passenger princess i dont drive i dont eat i just do haha girl dinner im so sillyyyy i wear makeup bc i want to i also try and define all women into categories that are marketable omg what if we were just girls and we were so useless and helpless

also if anyone wants to do some reading about this, it's a genuine phenomenon that occurs within most counter cultures. the main hegemony (capitalism) absorbs any part of the movement, and makes it something that can't cause harm to the existing power.

so yes, these quips start off as jokes, but if jokes weren't impactful then we wouldn't have spent so much time criminializing comedians, historically.

louis althusser came up with the idea of ideological state apparatuses, and there's an explanation of it here. it shows how we are systematically programmed through multiple facets of our everyday life.

these are my own notes about hegemonies

theres also this amazing excerpt from this pdf about counter culture being absorbed back into the dominant culture, which is capitalism

I'd also like to point out that interpellation is why all of those debates about who is "punk" or not are so futile. Because "punk" has long since become just another market segment.

im not racist i just have made broad generalizations and assumptions about black people and art without bothering to even look into it first - but ill still present my assumptions as correct. im not racist its just that my opinions on black art coincide with antiblack opinions - that black people are misogynistic and violent and enjoy it. im not racist its just that when this is pointed out to me instead of examining it i double down on opinions ive never bothered to check against the culture ive made assumptions about - im not racist, i just have never interacted with black art before but simultaneously i am confident that it is all misogynistic, all vile. i am not racist. i just dont like rap

the thing about the "um excuse me if you're as poor as you say you are why don't you just sell all your most treasured possessions" thing that people love to trot out as some kind of "gotcha" is that they do not acknowledge how fucking soul-crushing it is to be in a situation that is already destroying your mental health and then be forced to sell one of the few things in your life that still bring you joy

and an additional layer of this that nobody ever likes to acknowledge is:

human beings genuinely need to have fun and enjoyable things in our lives so that we do not just fall so deep into depression we jump off the nearest bridge, but in the current world we live in, having fun costs money. every list i have seen of "fun things you can do for free!" still costs money, it just costs an amount of money that is inconsequentially small to the person writing the list but that could easily be what a poor person has to live on for an entire week

"sit in a coffeeshop and journal!" coffee, journals, and pens cost money

"go to events with your friends!" event tickets and bus fare/gas cost money

"cook a nice home-cooked meal!" ingredients cost money. if people could be doing this one they already would. do you think poor people eat ramen and peanut butter sandwiches every day for fun

"take up a hobby, like crochet or watercolor!" those supplies cost money. yes i know you can get a lot of craft supplies at the dollar tree. someone with thirty cents in their bank account cannot afford that

"go hiking!" gas money, hiking shoes, and clothes that won't be covered in holes by the time you get off the trail all cost money. if your closest hiking trails are national parks you've also gotta pay to go into those

everything costs fucking money. when you are poor, often the only way you can do fun things is 1) because someone you know with more money than you offers to pay for it for you, or 2) by utilizing things you already have at home, which you cannot fucking do if you sell everything you own

so yeah tl;dr when i see someone asking for money for groceries/rent/bills/etc and i also know that person has like a wacom tablet or a playstation or whatever i do not judge them, i simply think "i am glad this person is able to get some joy still" because i hold the extremely controversial opinion that not wanting to kill yourself shouldn't be a luxury that only rich people can afford

there’s this book i had to read for college, “Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City” that collects a lot of real perspectives on poverty from real people. In the book, one of the people (all names were changed for privacy reasons) is a disabled woman on social aid. she gets a whole chapter focused on her and her challenges, but, this excerpt has stuck with me for a year now since i first read it.

honestly? it made me cry first reading it.

impoverished people are still allowed luxury.

impoverished people are still allowed luxury.

Transcription: To Sammy, Pastor Daryl, and others, Larraine was poor because she threw money away. But the reverse was more true. Larraine threw money away because she was poor.

Before she was evicted, Larraine had $164 left over after paying the rent. She could have put some of that away, shunning cable and Walmart. If Larraine somehow managed to save $50 a month, nearly one third of her after rent income, by the end of the year she would have $600 to show for it — enough to cover a single month’s rent. And that would have come at considerable sacrifice, since she would sometimes have had to forgo things like hot water and clothes. Larraine could have at least saved what she spent on cable. But to an older woman who lived in a trailer park isolated from the rest of the city, who had no car, who didn’t know how to use the internet, who only sometimes had a phone, who no longer worked, and who sometimes was seized by fibromyalgia attacks and cluster migraines — cable was a valued friend.

People like Larriane lived with so many compounded limitations that it was difficult to image the amount of good behaviour or self-control that would allow them to lift themselves out of poverty. The distance between grinding poverty and even stable poverty could be so vast that those at the bottom had little hope of climbing out even if they pinched every penny. So they chose not to. Instead, they tried to survive in colour, to season their suffering with pleasure. They would get a little high or have a drink or do a bit of gambling or acquire a television. They would buy lobster on food stamps.

If Larraine spent her money unwisely, it was not because her benefits left her with so much but because they left her with so little. She paid the price for her lobster dinner. She had to eat pantry food for the rest of the month. Some days, she simply went hungry. It was worth it. “I’m satisfied with what I had,” she said. “And I’m willing to eat noodles for the rest of the month because of it”.

Larraine learned a long time ago not to apologize for her existence. “People will begrudge you for anything,” she said. She didn’t care that the checkout clerk looked at her funny. She got the same looks when she bought the $14 tart balsamic vinegar or the ribs or the on-sale steak or chicken. Larraine loved to cook. “I have a right to live, and I have a right to live like I want to live,” she said. “People don’t realize that even poor people get tired of the same old taste. Like, I literally hate hot dogs, but I was brought up on them. So you think ‘When I get older, I will have steak.’ So now I’m older. And I do.”

I did that job once.

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

like I know that none of you would see a cis guy tell a woman to "shut up about this feminazi bullshit and show us your tits" and not think "wow, this guy seems like a violent misogynist." but constantly constantly constantly you are in my transfem friends' inboxes haranguing them for acknowledging transmisogyny instead of maintaining 24/7 dommy mommy sex doll kayfabe for you. the level of transmisogynistic dehumanization that many of you have normalized is fucking terrifying, and the fact that any of you have the audacity to catastrophize about separatism or "baeddels!!!!!" when you've made so many trans spaces demonstrably unsafe for transfems is insane

The fact there are mass graves being discovered at Al Shifa hospital to this day is beyond comprehension.

As a quick reminder, Israel withdrew from Al Shifa hospital on April 1st, following a two-week siege.

The news report from today (April 15) literally showed a man who was executed and buried along with his hospital report that mentions he was a wounded patient at the hospital.

Israel is a whole other level of evil.

Zionists love to run around questioning the validity of the numbers Gaza's ministry of health is putting out but you really have to wonder why are they burying hundreds if not thousands of Palestinians in mass graves??

It has been over one whole month since Israel ended its siege of the Al Shifa hospital, yet the Palestinian civil defence are STILL finding mass graves in the same place!

(Graphic descriptions below)

Today, a mass grave of over 50 bodies was discovered in the Al Shifa hospital in north Gaza. Health ministry representative Dr. Motassem Salah was relaying with shock how some of the bodies found were in their hospital beds, and some had their heads crushed or decapitated, in some cases only heads were found and the civil defence have no idea what happened to the bodies.

The bodies were found in away that suggested that Israel destroyed the building on top of them, we are yet to find out whether they were killed before or were left to die under the rubble.

Another horrifying detail is that these mass graves were found in the emergency department of the hospital which means that all of the bodies found today are of patients. Yet this is the department or section of the hospital that the medical staff were instructed by Israel to keep the critically injured at as if to "spare" them.

This is Israel.

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

if you excuse the bad editing it would look like this

can we hit 150k before this piece of shits one year anniversary

u know before yellow emojis took over as automatic, the one we used for this exactly was O_O . which has unfortunately become the shortcut for the stupid blushy one. but we also used to emphasize the emotion by making the mouth bigger, O_________O . there was also o_O , for when you're weirded out, and o_o for small weirds or intrigue. you could use a period instead of an underscore for the mouth, o.o, O.O, which was a little more like shock.

there was also -_- for when you're annoyed. -_-* for pissed. the asterisk is a forehead vein. a very bad day or very bad joke could result in -___________-********** .

anyway that's your history lesson for the day, dont forget your roots.

let us also not forget the meekest of them all: ._.

I apologize for calling Macklemore cringe

A girl has not felt loved in years. She never gets told that she's a pretty girl. She doesn't get called a girl. Her parents don't call her daughter. She never smiles and doesn't take care of her hair anymore. She stopped taking showers every day. She has acne and stubble. She doesn't shave, she can't stand looking at herself in the mirror. She was told that "fat is hot" until she gained more weight. People look at her weird. She feels like nobody wants her. She doesn't want anyone to look at her. She feels alone. People avoid her. She feels like she can't vent to others anymore because it's all she can think about. She wants to be loved

A girl doesn't talk anymore. She's distant and insecure. She bottles up her feelings. People reach out to her to try and help, but don't know how to help. She isolates herself, she's scared. She knows that nobody will put in the time and effort to be there for her. Nobody says good morning to her. She stopped asking for help. She doesn't laugh anymore. She feels like she's worthless. She's told that this isn't true, but notices that people only care about her when she's feeling suicidal. She feels like a burden. She can't think a week ahead because she is terrified of the future. She doesn't know if she'll make it to the end of the year. She wants to be loved

A girl doesn't express her opinions anymore. People think she's a dangerous freak, that she is disgusting, gross and filthy. She feels that weight. She cries most of the day, most days. She stopped brushing her teeth. She feels disposable. She only feels useful when she's validated. People will toss her aside as soon as they get a good excuse to do it. She feels like a sacrificial lamb. They keep her at arm's length. She knows that she's judged silently. She feels like people would feel more comfortable if she wasn't there. She's trying to keep going. Her eyes hurt. She's loud. People think she is annoying. She's tired. She wants to be loved

I see u. I love u

You're a pretty girl. What you say matters. How you feel matters. It's ok to be angry and afraid. It's unfair that others don't notice and don't care. Keep being loud, keep being yourself. It's not too late. You matter

I see all of you. I love every single one of you

A girl feels abandoned. She's hurt. She tears up at the thought of love. She can't ask for help anymore. She can't get out of bed, she doesn't go outside, she hasn't cut her bangs. She feels alone. She stays up late and oversleeps, wondering why she's still here. She's scared. She stays in her unmade bed. She can't take a shower. She skips breakfast. She feels like she's not worth taking care of. She checks her phone. No new notifications. She wishes somebody would send her a good morning text. She wishes someone would reach out. She wonders if people even see her

We do. We see you. What you say and how you feel matters. Your pain is real, your struggles are real, the indifference of people is real. That hurt inside your chest is real, that tight grip around your lungs is real, that uncomfortable feeling in the back of your neck is real, that heavy burden on your shoulders is real, those words and thoughts stuck in your throat are real, that tiredness in your eyes is real, that piercing noise in your ears is real, that hopelessness in your mind is real. Your grief is real

You're not worthless, not to us. We have to do better to welcome you, to include you, to trust you, to compliment you, to support you, to celebrate you, to remember you, to love you. You can be loved

We see you. You are beautiful. We love you. You will make it. You matter so much

logged onto twitter for the first time in months to do some promotion than dope out but i havent even yet bc the first thing i see is Tracy Yardley, mostly known for working on the official sonic comics for about as long as i've been alive, being one of the most based people on the planet

This is a stupid conversation! and I'm not going to continue it! literally so fucking correct

What I’m really proud of is the fact that he made SURE the audience understood why the caller was being an idiot. He made a PERFECT comparison, gave the caller an honest chance to re-evaluate and change his mind. His point landed, everyone knew it, even the caller (note his pause and almost hesitancy after being asked).

But when the caller decided to bulldoze on anyway, because god forbid actually listen to the other person in the conversation, the expert cut him off and refused his time. And good for him.

[VD: A tweet by @ g33kgurli, tweeted at 9:47 PM on Dec 17, 2021. It reads, "Perhaps the best clap back to antivaxxers and antimaskers." Attached is a video from The Thom Hartmann Program, where Hartmann is talking with a caller. The conversation goes as follows:

Caller: Hey Thom. Uh, I was listening to you for the last hour so, um, I heard survival of the fittest. Um, you know some of us choose not to vaccinate and uh--

Hartmann: You're nuts, Nicholas.

Caller: --because we work very hard about staying fit, eating healthy, and our natural immune system.

Hartmann: So Nicholas if you're so healthy, would you have unprotected sex with somebody who has syphilis or gonorrhea?

Caller: You're missing the point.

Hartmann: No, I'm not missing the point. They're contagious diseases. Would you have unprotected sex with somebody who has syphilis and gonorrhea and not worry about it because you're so healthy?

Caller: [pause] No, I wouldn't do that.

Hartmann: Okay, then why would you expose yourself to covid without having some protection?

Caller: Because the protection is my natural immunity.

Hartmann: No, it's not. Tell that--

Caller: Yes, yes, my natural immune system--

Hartmann: Tell that to eight hundred thousand dead Americans. Nicholas, this is- this is a stupid conversation and I'm not going to continue it.

/end VD]

Everyone who’s ever died of a disease had an immune system

Unironically I think we might run into another video game crash like back in the day

Game creation has become another husk capitalism has its greedy little fingers in and its like. Its genuinely sucking the joy out of it all for more profit and more profit and even if it succeeds its not enough it needs to be more to the point there really isn't a reason to create games anymore if you're not an indie dev

And being an indie dev isn't easy because no one has the time anymore. Everyone is drowning in student loans and low wages. Capitalism is sucking the joy out of them and overworking them and ai art is taking away opportunities to be something unique

Games are $70 fucking dollars now. I can't afford that like. I just can't. Most of us are struggling with finances as is.

We're drowning and it's happening so fast there's not enough time to panic

This is what I mean. Games aren't enough to be good or creative or excellent or fun anymore.

Like. AAA games are unfinished tech demos with dlc tacked on that is mostly content that should have been in the base game at launch

You get an indie game with love put into it and it gets received insanely well and it's. Just. Not enough.

Its burnout waiting to happen. No fucking body who goes through the trials and hardship that is game dev wants to be laid off after finishing a game there fully put their chest into. Soon why even bother? It's just another dead end for most and the student loans from learning through school is insane and no one has the time or drive to learn through their own means because we're working two jobs to pay for necessities.

Shit sucks

Told all my life that raw chicken = salmonella poisoning like that's just natural but no, it's just because it's not something food companies are legally required to control at their end and America is only NOW considering classifying it as a "contaminant?!" Meaning it would become a violation of federal law to sell meat with any detectable presence of it?? We could have fucking done that all along???

btw! I was made aware that many people don't know that we're boycotting Eurovision this year, so.

we are boycotting Eurovision, as per BDS guidelines.

don't watch the stream, don't engage with the videos, don't post it about it on social media using hashtags that are going to trend. whatever you're getting from the show isn't worth it