Larian studios: "Haha yeah isn't it funny that you can sleep with a druid in bear form? That's so--Look at me, look me in the eyes. there is no such thing as an "evil race". the players handbook is full of shit. personality traits based on race and species are bullshit. Every individual has the capacity for good an evil based on circumstances" *wizards of the coast security tries to drag them off stage*

Larian, clinging to the microphone: "DRAGONBORN HAVE TAILS! TIEFLINGS CAN BE PURPLE! QUEER CHARACTERS HAVE EVERY PLACE IN FANTASY MEDIA! YOU CAN AND SHOULD ROMANCE MIND FLAYERS NO! NO! LOOK AT ME! DRINKING POTIONS IS A BONUS ACTION! DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES!"

Vines and laces

i think my favorite thing about nimona is how genuine it is. like obvi there are other animations out there like nimona but i think this is the first time i actually appreciated it. all the characters have different body shapes and face structure

and their facial expressions are real and exaggerated (BALLISTER SHHHHSHHS ITS OKAY BABY🙏)

and just how their faces change a mile a minute:

like imo the only person who doesnt have that exaggeration is the director??? woman is so mild nd professional smh

Aliens: The pH of the soil is too high, I believe I'm gonna die!

Humans: FUCK YEAH! CONCRETE !

Nimona (2023) + text posts

One of the only thing the 2000s had going for it was the mythbusters. Those dudes ruled, nobody hated the mythbusters, I mean they hated each other but nobody else hated the mythbusters

An entire generation of scientists, engineers, and psychos with access to amphetamines owe so much to them

hey netizens! i'm not sure how many people are aware, but youtube's been slowly rolling out a new anti-adblock policy that can't be bypassed with the usual software like uBlock Origin and Pi-Hole out of the gate

BUT, if you're a uBlock Origin user (or use an adblocker with a similar cosmetics modifier), you can add these commands in the uBlock dashboard to get rid of it!

reblog to help keep the internet less annoying and to tell corporations that try shit like this to go fuck themselves <3

Where do I copy-paste these to? "My filters"? "My Rules"?

'my filters'! if you look closely you'll notice the format is different between the two pages. the (website)(##)(additional text) format goes in filters

In case no one told you growing up

To all the kids whose parents couldn’t help you with this kind of stuff

Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

@rmilkies

One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

Thank-you to all of my new Internet stranger friends for being so gracious about having my post shoved onto your dashboards. I loved reading all of your kind tags and comments! Both Martin and Bosco have been gone for several years now but for 24 hours, they felt very present in my life. I greatly appreciate this gift. ❤️

Reblog to have your dashboard be visited by the spirit of joy that death can end but not erase.

Paid for seven thousand, the other 100k was free

See, pleasant shit like this is what you should blaze. Not manifestos, the worst takes imaginable, or ads for derivative, cookie cutter prog book/webcomic #1,000,001.

HSO thought

So I have ✨anxiety disorders✨ and as an example, and to simply put it, generalized anxiety disorder is like having your body constantly be in fight or flight mode, basically the alarm is always on. And those of you who do have an anxiety disorder, I'm sure you all go through the "what if" scenarios so if something ever does happen, you're prepared. ANYWAYS, imagine an alien being friends with someone who has GAD, and something bad happens and the human friend is calm and collected and has a plan on what to do, but the alien is freaking out bc how the heck is the human calm during whatever is happening???

part 1 | part 2

The Atomless is an improvised audio drama using the Starfinder System and universe to tell a story about broken people navigating a broken universe.

We have 21 episodes in our main campaign, plus a 4 part miniseries set in the distant past. If you haven't listened yet, please check the show out on your podcast catcher.

But there's more coming. And we have big plans and supporting us on Patreon will help us get there.

guiding hands

Just put together that Deli’s got an angel (Bulbian knight) and devil (Bardlock of the Hungry One) on his shoulder. The SYMBOLISM I CANT

I'm going to bed but I wanted to share a prompt I came up with

Humans are space orcs yes, but what would other creatures think about dental care? I once brushed my teeth every other night no mornings and when I flossed my gums bled more then usual. How would they react to someone flossing and then bleeding?

So, something I learnt the other day. So, you know how dinosaurs supposedly can't see you if you stand still? Well that myth is based on real-life lizards/etc and how eyes in general work. So, once my dad starts infodumping, here comes some other cool information. We, humans, can in fact, also not see something unless it's moving. We fixed this by having our eyes constantly shake. And then our brain compensates for us, so we don't have to have shaky vision.

What if aliens don't have this? Like. What if they find out when one of us was looking at something in the distance, and they walk around this thing that's in front of them, and the alien is confused so they bob their head and oh, there's a thing there, but how did the human know that, and then we explain and they're like, horrified.

Humans are apex predators. They can hunt in packs. They can hunt in pairs. They can hunt on their own. They're persistance predators, which is unheard of. They get stronger when they're mad or scared. They have this thing called 'body language' which acts like a type of hivemind, even if they'll claim it isn't. And. They can see you. When you're not moving. They can still see you. If you ever find yourself in a fight against a human, for whatever reason? Run. Run as fast as you can. And hope, pray if you have a religion, that they won't follow.

STILL thinking about the way amangeaux has spent the whole campaign begging karna to allow her to care for her, trying again and again to have a relationship with her, to convince karna to let amangeaux protect her in some way, and the one time karna said "okay. here's how you protect me. here's how you help me. this is what caring for me looks like," amangeaux couldn't do it. truly no one is doing it like aabria and anjali.

Hey btw, to new writers who want to write angst: Nothing illustrates darkness as well as sparse and brilliant highlights.

If you want to write a character with an unspeakably awful past, there’s no need to go into deep and gory details about how horrible it was. Readers who can’t relate to it won’t relate to that, and the readers who have been there generally don’t want to see that. Instead, highlight some of their happiest moments but make them unsettlingly small.

Sprinkles in some realism, too. Having a character go “my parents were abusive monsters and I’ve literally never had a happy moment in my life” isn’t realistic, and both the people who haven’t witnessed that kind of thing outside of fiction, and the people who have personally lived it will just go “yeah, yeah, tragic childhood, misery, darkness, we’ve all seen it”, and being nothing but negative makes the character both uninteresting and unlikeable.

Now, having someone casually think or say shit like “I think my happiest childhood memory was that christmas when dad was in prison. Nobody was yelling or throwing anything and mom was sober the whole time”, and be genuinely surprised by other peoples’ concerned reactions - now jesus christ that’s bleak.

if you do it right, you can simultaneously drop such a scene to be darkly comedic and bleak.