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Meet the Queen of Clubs, the bisexual pride knight! Her armor is engraved with floral designs and in her hands she wields a powerful magic sword made from petals! ♣️⚔️ The Pride Knights Playing Cards, art prints and uncut sheets are now available for pre-order here: prideknights.com ⚔️🌈
Meet the King of Diamonds, the rainbow pride knight! Thank you everyone for joining us and giving feedback on all the compositions, shaping this deck; it's been an amazing journey! The Pride Knights Playing Cards, art prints and uncut sheets are now available for pre-order here: prideknights.com ⚔️🌈
YES YES YES IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
long deep breath
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
There's the urban legend that some japanese companies will hire a "loud American." A person who is just there to voice complaints to the boss when others cant.
I had an idea today that alien ships might hire "The Human!" A person who is just there to just stand there and looks like the be the big, tough, indestructible threat of a being that the galaxy knows humans are.
Doesnt matter who the human is. Big or small, male or female, a tough soldier or more gentle than a newborn. They just have to be present and let the reputation of humans speak for itself.
Is the captain trying to enforce an unpopular regulation on the crew? Ask The Human to have a private meeting and voice the complaints.
Trying to sell some goods but the buyer wants to renegotiate the price to be more unfair to you? Ask The Human to be there at the negotiating table.
That jerk at the bar keeps pestering you with their mating display, because they want to be the one to fertilize your eggs wont take no for an answer? Ask The Human to escort you back to your quarters.
Not sure if the neighborhood where you're making the delivery is a safe one? Just ask that lovely human if they wouldnt mind putting down their crochet and coming with you. They might be extra thrilled if you mention they could take their pet with them, for a walk.
Especially the last idea made me think of a lovely elder lady with her little dog. And all the other aliens in the bad neighbourhood going: Oh ship, that human is really old, the must be really good at surviving, better not mess with them.
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file
Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:
- Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
- Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
- Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning
- Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
- Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
- Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
- Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
- Tricked me into loving him forever anyway
Ripped an escape hole
in the patio screen door
in a single night
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!
the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend
hi I’m sorry to like be one of those ppl but oooof this post
is extremely antisemitic, racist and transphobic
Here’s their pinned post, every post after is just as bad if not worse so if you do scroll through their blog please do so with caution
Fuckbaskets.
The message of "people should be allowed to learn new things as they get older" is good, but also, ew, no. Thank you for telling me.
Hopefully they learn some stuff while reading those books.
Ma’am. What are you doing. You can’t be here.
This is my childhood home and my babies will grow up here too.
Ma’am. This is an orphanage.
And?
Good point. Welcome home, ma’am.
I AM FINE I’M NOT CRYING
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES 2023, dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley
The nerve!!
Elsie and I do this almost every night. When I say “Ahem, WHERE is my girl?”, she comes running and flings herself at me, chirping.
I never feel better than I do when I call Elsie to bed.
When words come out sounding WAY worse than they did in your head
Prior to this, Ash gets really protective of his mom and starts terrorizing Jessie (usually with harmless pranks and generally trying to get under her skin). Ash ends up staying home a bit longer than he usually does because of this and Delia was happy to have him around. Jessie is resilient and endures this for a long time however and Ash eventually throws in the towel.
One morning tells Delia he's going to leave on another journey the following day. Delia worries that she's pushing Ash away with this new relationship and wants nothing more than to keep the two most important people in her life...well... in her life.